Wikipedia:Peer review/World Science Festival/archive1

This peer review discussion has been closed.
This article has recently been named a good article, and I'd like to put it up as an FA candidate. In preparation, I'd like to put it up for peer review – any and all feedback, whether on the writing or on the content, is greatly appreciated.

Many thanks, Markus Poessel (talk) 21:16, 6 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments by Awadewit

edit

What a change from general relativity! :) I did a little copyediting. Perhaps one more sweep would tighten things up even further.

  • The inaugural festival took place from May 28 to June 1, 2008, the first instance of what is planned as an annual event. - There is some redundancy here, with "inaugural" and "first instance".
  • the two decided that a similar festival in New York City would be a worthwhile science communication project - "science communication project" is a bit vague
  • Greene serves as the foundation's chairman; on the board of directors, he is joined by Alan Alda, Columbia University president Lee Bollinger, the foundation's president Judith Cox, Tracy Day as the festival's Executive Director, and New York University president John Sexton. - This sentence is awkward - it lacks parallel structure.
  • The first paragraph of "Festival events" becomes a bit listy at the end - is listing all of the names of those scientists without any context really necessary?
  • I'm not sure - my main reasons that all those names have wikilinks, and I'm all for cross-linking Wikipedia as densely as possible. I've de-listified some of the events, and left some names out. Markus Poessel (talk) 20:57, 8 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Just to make sure we are being vigilant - was there any criticism of the festival?
  • All reviews by reliable sources that I'm aware of are on this page. The one that has some worries about science elitism and boosterism is the SciAm blog entry from April 3, long before the festival. The published reviews from people who actually saw the festival were all positive. The closest they come to criticism is mention of rumors of instances of organizational turmoil before the festival. Should the critical reception get a section of its own? My worry is that such a section, if praise and criticism were represented in faithful proportions, would look too much like advertising. Markus Poessel (talk) 20:57, 8 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

My roommate went to the festival - he said nearly everything was sold out. Bigger next year? Awadewit (talk) 16:19, 8 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Probably not much bigger next year. And, in fact, all events were sold out in 2008. Many thanks for your review! Markus Poessel (talk) 20:57, 8 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]