Unforgiven (2005) edit
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for August 2008.
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because… I want to know what needs to be done, so the article can become an FA.
Thanks, -- ThinkBlue (Hit BLUE) 03:36, 20 August 2008 (UTC)
Comments from Ealdgyth (talk · contribs)
- You said you wanted to know what to work on before taking to FAC, so I looked at the sourcing and referencing with that in mind. I reviewed the article's sources as I would at FAC.
- Per the MOS, link titles shouldn't be in all capitals.
- Please spell out abbreviations in the notes. Yes, they are linked, but you don't want your readers to leave your article, they might never return.
- What makes the following sources reliable?
- Hope this helps. Please note that I don't watchlist Peer Reviews I've done. If you have a question about something, you'll have to drop a note on my talk page to get my attention. (My watchlist is already WAY too long, adding peer reviews would make things much worse.) 22:49, 22 August 2008 (UTC)
Comments from Gavyn Sykes (talk) 18:47, 25 August 2008 (UTC)
- Lead
- You may want to explain why Cena got himself disqualified, though that may not be apprprioate for the lead, not positive.
- Wait, what's written, in the lead, is not appropriate?
- No, what's there is fine. I was unsure if my suggestion was appropriate for the lead.
- Wait, what's written, in the lead, is not appropriate?
- You may want to explain why Cena got himself disqualified, though that may not be apprprioate for the lead, not positive.
- Background
The real reason for Jericho being fired should be noted. I think the "lock" in "Master lock" should be capitalized. Why is Masters's name for the move here but there's no "which he calls the Angle slam" after "lifting Cena on his shoulders and spinning 90° to slam him down to the mat." It should be consistent throughout the article and it is not here and at several other places, which I won't mention below to avoid redundancy.Explain why Hardy and Edge are feuding. It was a real life issue transformed into a storyline, so I think that should be mentioned. Change "He was unable to stop Snitsky, as he hit Hardy with the ring bell." to "He was unable to stop Snistky, and as a result, Snitsky succeeded in hitting Hardy with the bell." I think it flows better, but that's subjective.
- Preliminary matches
An explanation for figure four leglock is needed. The "R" in "Roundhouse" should be lower case.< Headbutt is a common term, not just a wrestling one. I don't think the explantion is actually needed here.
- Main event matches
Superkick is not a common term. It warrants an explanation. Non-wrestling fans may have no idea what it is and even new wrestling fan could think it's a missile dropkick per what the term Super is usually used to describe in wrestling.- Why did Cena get himself disqualified. Was it a heel turn? Was he a tweener? Did he kayfabe feel he couldn't beat Angle?
- Well, he was on the ground, after an ankle lock hold by Angle, which led to Cena grabbing the title and hitting Angle in the process and the referee seeing this and calling for the bell.
- Then you may want to add "because he was about to lose" or something to that affect.
- I'll come up with something.
- Then you may want to add "because he was about to lose" or something to that affect.
- Well, he was on the ground, after an ankle lock hold by Angle, which led to Cena grabbing the title and hitting Angle in the process and the referee seeing this and calling for the bell.
- Aftermath and Results:
- Looks good.
- Done and thanks for the comments. But, left some of my own.
- Sure.
- Wrestlinglover's comments
- Lead
I don't think it needs to be known how Cena got himself DQ'ed in the lead. To me it would just be better to say "in which WWE Champion John Cena lost to Kurt Angle after he intentionally disqualified himself" The event section should cover how he got DQ'ed."One of the primary preliminary matches was another standard match, in which Shawn Michaels defeated Chris Masters. The other primary match was a steel cage match, where the ring is enclosed by a steel cage. Matt Hardy defeated Edge." Maybe you can tell that there is two instead of saying "The Other". It makes it sound awkward in my opinion. Like say there was two matches on the undercard, one was an encounter between Shawn Michaels and Chris Masters, in which Michaels was victorious. The other primary match was a steel cage match, where the ring is enclosed by a steel cage. Matt Hardy defeated Edge.
- Background
- Since performances and other stuff are already linked in the lead, I wouldn't link Cena's name and anything else that appears in the background that is linked in the lead section in the background. The links are just too close together to be linked again.
- Well, if you see SummerSlam '03, "Kurt Angle" and "Brock Lesnar" are linked in both the lead and the background.
There should be a space between Angelslam, Angle Slam."The two then brawled, thus turning Michaels as a hero," I don't really like that statement, maybe you can change it to "The two then brawled, thus turning Michaels into an on-screen hero,".
- Event
"Flair took the advantage and applied the figure four leglock on Carlito, thus making him submit, and Flair the new Intercontinental Champion" The Flair becoming IC champ should be on another line since it doesn't work with the sentence. "Flair took the advantage and applied the figure four leglock on Carlito, thus making him submit. Which resulted in Flair becoming the new Intercontinental Champion." At least in my mind it is better.Leg drop was already linked in the background, so it doesn't need to be linked agin. You have it linked in the Edge/Hardy match, which in my opinion was a very good match.I'm not sure what your trying to say in this sentence "Michaels fought back, as he performed a drove his cocked elbow onto Masters' chest.", but I guess it is a driving elbow drop from the top rope like he does all the time. It needs to be fixed so it doesn't sound weird anymore, not sure what to change it too, it is late here and I'm tired so I'm coming up blank.- "
Cena rolled out of the move, grabbed the Championship belt," Why is Championship capitalized?
- Aftermath
- Is Cade and Murdoch losing the belts important? It is one sentence and doesn't seem really notable since there was no reason to why they lost the belts.
- Well, they won the titles at Unforgiven and lost them at the next PPV, not No Mercy, but Taboo Tuesday.
- Closing statements
- Okay, it reads very well. I believe it has a chance at FA. Though to me I've never really read an article that I've said was an FA. Not SummerSlam 03 or December to Dismember seem like an FAs to me. Even Guitar Hero (video game) does not seem like an FA to me. I must be hard ti please, but I feel this has a chance. So it will probably pass.--WillC 04:47, 26 August 2008 (UTC)