Wikipedia:Peer review/Touro University California/archive1

Touro University California

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I had previously recommended the article for good article status (it understandably failed) and I have since expanded the page significantly and think that it can perhaps be upgraded to B class but I would like detailed information on how to further improve the page to good article status or better. I have been told something about the references but did not understand. Additionally, the article was once B class (undeservingly I think) so no idea what happened there.

Thanks, TylerDurden8823 (talk) 02:43, 26 June 2012 (UTC)

Comments

• Is it Touro University-California or Touro University California? Perhaps the article needs to be moved.
• Article of this length probably only needs two paras in the lead per WP:LEAD.
• Touro University is a dablink.
• "The Judaic values of commitment to social justice, intellectual pursuit, and service to humanity are expressed and encouraged, regardless of faith." no offence but this reads a little like it came from the brochure.
• If you abbreviate Touro University-California to TUCA (why the A?) then use the abbreviation to stop the prose becoming overwhelmed with name repetitions.
• What's GPA?
• I think there are, in general, tone issues here, without wishing to cause offence again, it does read a little like an advert.
• You have Touro University Gay-Straight Alliance as a "See also", why isn't it mentioned, at least in passing, in the main article?
• Avoid bare links in the references, these may be subject to linkrot.
• Be consistent with date formats in the refs.
• In ref titles, check for compliance with WP:DASH so avoid the use of spaced hyphens for instance, use an en-dash instead.
• In the infobox, "Non-Profit" can be just "non-profit".
• Also, where are all the elements in the infobox referenced?

The Rambling Man (talk) 14:50, 2 July 2012 (UTC)

Thanks for the comments. Looking at their website, I guess it should be Touro University California without the hyphen. I can make that correction. I can rearrange the lead, someone else decided to split it up into three paragraphs, it was two. No idea what to do about the disambiguation page. I didn't add the Judaic values part, that has been there since this article was written years ago. It is part of Touro University California's mission and I have seen many articles state the mission. I could always put that in a separate section saying that it is the mission if that would be an improvement. I didn't abbreviate Touro University California to TUCA (someone else did). I can use TUC or TUCA (I don't know why the A-again not me) to shorten the prose if need be, it didn't seem overwhelming to me at all. GPA is grade point average, I thought that was a common enough term that people would understand but I can clarify. I need you to clarify on how the article reads like an advertisement because I do not see it with the exception of what you mentioned before about the mission statement bit. Touro University Gay Straight Alliance has its own wikipedia article and someone else decided to put that under the see also. I have used the reflinks tool to clean up the references, people have been saying there are "bare links" in the references but I do not understand how these are bare links after running them through the reflinks tool. I need more detailed information on what is needed for them. Also don't know what you mean about date formats in the refs being consistent. I have not manually done anything to the refs, just reflinks tool. What is the difference between Non-profit and non-profit? I can cite the infobox stuff, again, not me. Also, no idea what you mean about the spaced dashes in the references, also something I did not do knowingly. TylerDurden8823 (talk) 17:08, 2 July 2012 (UTC)

I fixed up the article to address some of your comments, the ones that were easily fixable and that did not require more explanation or that I don't know how to fix. TylerDurden8823 (talk) 20:33, 2 July 2012 (UTC)

I also fixed the citations (I think) after asking another editor to explain what the problem was to me. None of them are bare links anymore as far as I can tell now that I have used the cite:web template for them. "Non-profit" has been changed to "non-profit" though I still don't see a difference for that part really. The infobox has citations/references now, I fixed the dashes in the references as well. I just need you to give me more specific feedback regarding how the article reads like an advertisement and whether I should separate the aforementioned line about Judaic values into a Mission statement section or what to do with it. TylerDurden8823 (talk) 02:27, 3 July 2012 (UTC)

Ok, well if you're trying to promote the article yourself, you need to know why it's TUCA, if not, get rid of it. The "someone else did it" thing is fine, and I really don't have much interest in that, if you want the article to get to GA/FA whatever, then you need to take ownership of it (obviously, not WP:OWN but you need to be responsible for its content). "Non-profit" is not a proper noun so where used not at the beginning of sentences or notes, it shouldn't be capitalised. As for advert-style, well the article seems to be trying hard to sell itself on its results. They may be notable, and you may need other people's advice on this, but just smashing me with great results "in recent years" just makes me feel bombarded with "sell, sell, sell" messages. You'd be better off asking someone else as this is just my opinion. If you wish to include the "mission statement", I would directly quote it and directly reference it. The Rambling Man (talk) 18:18, 5 July 2012 (UTC)

No idea why it's "TUCA" as the abbreviation. That has been there for as long as I can remember. The best explanation I can provide is that TUC may be potentially confusing as some people may misread that as an abbreviation for Touro College instead of Touro University California. Otherwise, I'm not sure. I've never heard of ownership of an article until now so that's fine but that was the best answer I had to some of your questions since I wasn't responsible for putting certain things there or lacked the knowledge regarding why they were (or were not) put there. I did have someone else look at the article recently prior to the peer review and they felt the article had a fair, unbiased tone. I'm willing to create a mission statement section regarding your earlier comments about the Judaic values bit. As for the great results, some of them are great but I feel they've been reported in a neutral way, there's no language saying these are fantastic results (some of them, while good results, were not the super highest ranked). I put in the article the information I have access to if I'm being honest. I will seek other editors' opinions on the advertisement aspect of the article but this is the first I'm hearing of it. In the meanwhile I'll work on the mission statement part to further better the article. How do the rest of the updates I made after your recommendations look? Better? Worse? Same? TylerDurden8823 (talk) 18:46, 5 July 2012 (UTC)

Well, if TUCA isn't a common abbreviation for it, it should go. If it is a common abbreviation, it should be easy to cite. Other updates, better. The Rambling Man (talk) 18:49, 5 July 2012 (UTC)

I can get rid of TUCA. What do you recommend I use in place of TUCA for an abbreviation? You had said earlier that you felt overwhelmed or that the article may have a tendency to be overwhelming from saying Touro University California too often. I'm glad to hear the other updates are better. I'm assuming the citation style is fixed and in the correct format now, yes? Also, I just reread the section about the academic programs. Most of the information there is just a description of the matriculant profile of different programs there (an editors on GA review had said this would greatly benefit the article and was information the article really needed) and the pass rates for licensure exams seemed like information prospective and current students would certainly be interested in. If I can reword that part so it seems more neutral in some way I'm open to suggestions on that but I felt that reporting the current information from recent years would be the best way to do this. I also wanted to take a moment to say I'm very appreciative of your help. It has really helped improve the article's quality and it was difficult for me to get feedback for some time. TylerDurden8823 (talk) 18:57, 5 July 2012 (UTC)

Upon further review, I'm stuck regarding the abbreviation. Their website has a tab saying TUC News but I see documents that aren't much older when I do a search saying TUCA so I'm afraid I am getting mixed results here. Guidance on this matter would be appreciated. TylerDurden8823 (talk) 19:00, 5 July 2012 (UTC)