Wikipedia:Peer review/Slipknot Demo/archive1

Slipknot Demo edit

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A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for August 2008.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because we'd like to receive feedback on how to improve this article. It is short, which is the reason cited for failing its recent Good article nomination. If there are any suggestions on improving the article, then please post them. Thanks! Gary King (talk) 20:04, 29 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Giggy edit

Italics for its name?
Maybe wikilink demo somewhere in the lead
"with new vocalist Corey Taylor in 1997" - cut the in 1997, it kills the flow of the sentence
Not many issues, that's all I could find... As with the other one, I agree that this can't really be GA. —Giggy 08:24, 30 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Italics not required as this isn't the official name for the demo. It's a name that the community has agreed on for it, basically. The rest are done. Gary King (talk) 14:42, 30 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Hpfan9374 edit

I agree that italics should not be used for its name, but should the "D" in "Slipknot Demo" be in lower case, I suggest changing the title to "Slipknot demo".
I don't think its comprehensive; try adding Release information; its publicity and response. Perhaps they decided to undertake a small tour?
- It wasn't "released" persay.... it was demo which was handed out to record labels and produces in hope of becoming signed.... which it did. REZTER ^TALK ø 14:24, 13 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
The lead needs also needs expanding; see Transfusion (EP) for a prime example.
If it has not charted, then include "The album received no chart success and no music videos were recorded for it." or similiar.
Include atleast a sentence or paragraph on the inspiration of the album and state "Slipknot demo is the third (or whatever it is) release by nu-metal band Slipknot."

Hope this helped, because I have never done a peer review before. Thanks. Hpfan9374 (talk) 14:16, 13 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

a thought shouldn't the name be something like "Slipknot ( Roadrunner Records Demo)"? Nergaal (talk) 03:13, 14 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Probably too detailed; it would be necessary if Slipknot had another demo that was nameless, but that's not the case. Gary King (talk) 03:15, 14 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]