Wikipedia:Peer review/Scene7/archive1

Scene7

• A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for November 2008.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I'd like to eventually bring it to WP:FAC. Thanks! Gary King (talk) 00:56, 14 November 2008 (UTC)

• Comments
• http://www.informationweek.com/blog/main/archives/2007/05/adobe_adds_scen.html (ref #2) is a blog, and is thus probably non-reliable.
• What makes http://www.internetretailer.com/internet/marketing-conference/33577-imaging-technology-giant-adobe-acquires-rich-media-provider-scene7.html (ref #14) reliable?
• Otherwise, sources look good.

–Juliancolton ^{Tropical Cyclone} 17:26, 14 November 2008 (UTC)

Both references replaced Gary King (talk) 20:07, 14 November 2008 (UTC)

• Brianboulton comments: I have carried out a copyedit. If I have inadvertently altered a meaning, or injected some unwelcome Brit-English into the prose, please revert. I also picked up a few points:-
  • In the lead, I'd specify that the $30m received was venture capital
  • Also in lead, I think I'd say relaunched rather than launched
  • In the Company section, second para, should "on November 9" be "from November 9"?
  • Third para: you've linked "e-commerce, but it has been mentioned several times earlier - should be linked on first mention
  • What does this mean: "to power the company's media platform"? This was one of the few business jargon phrases in the article.
  • Last sentence of this section is unreferenced - but do you actually need it? It adds nothing to what's already been said about zooming and dynamic interaction.
  • History section: The company was sold "along with 40 developers". If these were company employees I suggest you say "The company, with its software development staff of 40, was sold..."
  • Any more details about the "six firms"?
  • "Engage is the parent company..." I think should be "was"
  • Acquisition section: Try to reduce the repetition of "services" in the sentence beginning: "Scene7's services..."

I hope these comments are helpful. Brianboulton (talk) 20:02, 14 November 2008 (UTC)

Thanks for the copyedit and the comments! These are all done now. Gary King (talk) 20:15, 14 November 2008 (UTC)