Wikipedia:Peer review/Passenger Pigeon/archive1

Passenger Pigeon edit

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I've listed this article for peer review because… We've taken this article fairly far along. Citations (and links) are more or less complete. Would like to get a GA out of this. Taxonomy (and fossils) are beyond expertise (I guess) of present contributors. I think that the article is especially important and relevant to current extinction and enviromental issues. Also, this is a "CD" qualified article, so it needs to be really good. 7&6=thirteen (☎) 20:23, 3 March 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks, 7&6=thirteen (☎) 20:21, 3 March 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Comments some reasonably quick things....

Four paras in the lead seems a little hefty for this reasonably brief article. But just check WP:LEAD in case...
Do you really think we need to link the word "bird" for normal English speakers?
"when it went extinct " it became extinct.
"due to hunting and habitat destruction." because it was hunted and had its habitat destroyed.
"a large fraction", what does that actually mean? 9/10? 1/3?
"time.[2][A][3]" put notes one end or the other of this.
Don't link common locations like United States.
Lead is a little bit mixed up, you seem to refer to the species' extinction twice, its massive flocking twice. You don't need a lead for the lead...
Some items in the lead are referenced and noted, others aren't. Since the lead is supposed to not include anything that isn't in the main body, I imagine you could move all these refs and notes to the main body.
Why is e.g. in italics?
" living relative were thought to be the Zenaida doves" either relatives or was.
"If anything, Ectopistes is closer to the former, but relationships within this Columbidae lineage are not fully resolved yet." ref?
"The generic epithet translates" sorry, no expert, but what "generic epithet"?
" as the pigeon migrator." ref?
Don't link "dictionary".
Don't squash text between images.
More of the prose needs examination.
Don't mix date formats in the refs.
Ensure you use en-dashes for page ranges per WP:DASH.

The Rambling Man (talk) 18:51, 8 March 2012 (UTC)[reply]