Wikipedia:Peer review/Mount Osmond, South Australia/archive1

Mount Osmond, South Australia edit

This is the second Adelaide suburb to be edited to such a standard. Help would be appreciated through copyediting, link suggestion and general feedback. Examples of earlier suburb featured articles: Waterfall Gully, South Australia (nominated and worked on by myself) and Yarralumla, Australian Capital Territory.

Thankyou. - G^t 05:49, 19 January 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Brilliant as always. I can't fault the individual sections at all, but it seems like there's something small missing compared to Waterfall Gully. I think it's that - were it not for the "residents" section, one could almost be mistaken for thinking there were no residents in Mount Osmond. I think where Waterfall Gully explained quite well what the community was like, Mount Osmond seems in a way to be, whilst explaining everything else beautifully, missing the people somehow. Am I making any sense? Ambi 13:13, 19 January 2006 (UTC)[reply]

I'll go for a walk tomorrow and take some photos of some Mount Osmond homes and find a way to fit them into the article - the community is just like the rest of Burnside: secluded, conservative and wealthy (similar to Norfolk Island in being an 'isolated self-governing state within a state' as one Adelaide columist put it last weekend). - G^t 13:56, 19 January 2006 (UTC)[reply]

It's that vibe which you got across really well in Waterfall Gully, but which just isn't quite there here. I'm not sure quite how you'd go about it, but I'm sure you'll come up with something - you usually do. Ambi 20:02, 19 January 2006 (UTC)[reply]

I have been active in writing articles on towns, too. Here are links to my two FACs to draw lessons from: Dawson Creek and Chetwynd. I got "reminded" there to put info on schools and media into the article. I've also got dinged for not using enough maps (I find locational/red-dot maps and street network maps to be the most useful). In addition, the election boxes could be expanded (they currently only show the booth percentages for that area, how about relating it to the electoral district? number of voters? voter turnout rate?) Most importantly the box requires a year - don't assume the reader knows which election it is referring to that they know what year the last election was in (and, no, many readers will not read the text but only glance at the colourful box). I noticed there is no mention of a local government (outside the infobox). Isn't there a mayor and council that govern/administer the area? A simple telephone call to the government office can answer where the drinking water comes from and where the sewage goes. --maclean25 19:04, 19 January 2006 (UTC)[reply]

There are no schools in the suburb, the City of Burnside is mentioned twice as the Local Government Area (both in the infobox and the introduction). The suburb itself has no representation apart from the Burnside Council. It really is quite small. I did correct the politics section though, to show which election year. - G^t 01:09, 20 January 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Ambi, would you mind taking another look? I've swapped around some stuff/added some new images... I think all she really needs now is a copyedit/map. - G^t 02:03, 20 January 2006 (UTC)[reply]

The suburbs that surround it only need to be in the table and not in the intro as well. It looks good otherwise. Maybe the picture in the table could be tweaked a little as well and a street/reserves map would be good (altough hard to find). ...maelgwn talk 01:28, 1 February 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Thankyou for the comments! I was looking into a map but have little experience/knowledge in dealing with vector imaage programs (to create one). If someone else wishes to, that'd be great. michael ^talk 11:50, 2 February 2006 (UTC)[reply]