Wikipedia:Peer review/Moscone-Milk Assassinations/archive1

Moscone-Milk Assassinations edit

This article I want to be in a little better shape then it is now. I don't really want anything added to it because it shows the whole story on it but it could use some comments here and there to give more thought into the article. I want to get this whole article checked over badly because I wrote this in a hurry and didn't really check my work but it has gotten fixed a lot since I've created the article but I'm not sure if its completely in a great shape but it also might need editing to it also. Just do the best you can on this. Thanks for the help --Gndawydiak 08:39, 2 January 2007 (UTC)[reply]

references? - Tutmosis 15:46, 2 January 2007 (UTC)[reply]
No references, and doesn't conform to WP:MOS or WP:MSH - I think assassinations isn't capped in the title, and the section headings are incorrectly capped and redundant. (If you move the article to a correct title, please make sure the talk page is adjusted to include the peer review, or change it as well.) Check the history of the San Francisco article for an editor named Dave (I think it's something like DaveOinSF) - he'll be able to help. SandyGeorgia (Talk) 16:16, 2 January 2007 (UTC)[reply]
I checked it over quickly. It's a good start, and has a promising outline, but needs a lot of work. Especially the "Preceding events" and "Aftermath" sections. The event is actually described more completely in the Dan White and Harvey Milk pages than it is in this, the supposed "Main article" right now. A few more specific comments, and maybe I'll help work on this if I have some time later this week:
The lead can be expanded a bit more to encompass more details of the event.

The role of Milk's gay rights ordinance in leading to White's resignation is understated.

The famous photo of Feinstein announcing the assassinations to the public would make a great addition to the page. Would be acceptable fair use.

The title is problematic. "Assassinations" should not be capitalized, and the complete names used. "Harvey Milk and George Moscone assassinations" or vice versa.

References, of course, are needed, as the others say.

To reiterate, this is a great start. Try to expand a bit, find some references and include more information.--DaveOinSF 19:19, 2 January 2007 (UTC)[reply]