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I would like a peer review of this article because I plan to include it in a future good/featured topic. Thanks, TWOrantulaTM (enter the web) 19:03, 13 January 2024 (UTC)
Hello and thanks for writing this article. I may have used some strong language in my editorial comments but please trust that I respect and want this article to improve.
Summary: this is a long way from GA in nearly every category
Personal Life
edit- really nothing more to say other than his marriage and where he went to college?
- Tried moving information around, made separate sections, organized stuff here and there. Renamed section to "Early life and education".
Career
edit- "From 2007 to 2010, Brichter founded his own company, Atebits, in 2007, and released a small drawing app for Mac known as Scribbles." How many employees? Did it make money?
- I have no idea.
- "In 2009, he was the recipient of the Apple Designer of Year award" why? was the a monetary prize for this?
- I'll have to look into that.
- "During this time, he sold Tweetie along with his whole company in 2010" this is a horrible sentence
- Rephrased.
- What is the target market for Letterpress? Why did he decide to make this?
- Essentially he wanted to make a multiplayer word game inspired by SpellTower. Not so sure about the target market.
- The split of information between this section and the subsequent ones is confusing. I would just divide his work by company
- Good idea. Organized info.
Atebits
edit- Yet again information from the Tweetie section is mixed in here. If you don't keep information in its proper section it gives the reader too many questions.
- Moved Tweetie section to "Career".
- "Although Letterpress is one of Brichter's more recent creations,[3] he only managed to get to work on after he left Twitter." This is a terrible sentence. It is 2012 so its only more recent in the sense that it happened after the others. What notable thing are you really trying to convey here.
- Rephrased.
Interaction Techniques
edit- no source on pull to refresh claim
- Added VentureBeat citation
References
edit"Brichter, Loren (April 21, 2016). "Email Interview with Loren Brichter" (Interview). Interviewed by Samantha Lee; Sijia Zhang; Jenna Choo." Where can I find this source?
- Can't find it anywhere. Luckily, there are a bunch of other interviews I can use.
Czarking0 (talk) 23:45, 13 January 2024 (UTC)
- I didn't write this article, but thank you for your advice. I need all the constructive criticism I can get. TWOrantulaTM (enter the web) 00:18, 14 January 2024 (UTC)
User:Vrxces
editI think in short the current challenges with this article reaching a GA level is that it is a WP:BLP that relies heavily on primary sources and interviews of varying reliability. The sourcing is pretty slight. When you organise the sources, in terms of secondary sources there's a few profiles about Brichter (iMore, Wall Street Journal, Today's iPhone) and some very trivial mentions about the creator in articles about his products (Verge, VentureBeat). The latter is fine but not helpful to establish the profile of significant coverage on Bircher as opposed to his products. The article's heavy reliance on an email interview is unverifiable (see WP:VERIFY) if it's not accessible as no third party can check to see if the information is correctly presented. I don't think Bircher is non-notable under WP:GNG, but there's some work to be done. ＶＲＸＣＥＳ (talk) 00:16, 21 January 2024 (UTC)