Wikipedia:Peer review/John Forrest (doctor)/archive1

John Forrest (doctor) edit

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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I've followed the Wikipedia MOS and referenced all sources and hopefully created an article that is of good quality, but looking for feedback to see how it can be improved further.

Thanks, Gilesforrest (talk) 14:47, 2 March 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Suggestions for improvement

The lead and the main body of the article need to stand separate. That's because in some usages, the lead is published without the article and vice versa. It should be a summary, so there should not be anything in the lead that is not covered in the article. (MOS:Lead)
You need to add the information about his birth and its location into the first section.
Move the family information up to the first and last sections so the article forms a chronological narrative.
"Early military career" and "Later career" are just point lists. Rewrite in prose.
Link military units. eg 23rd Foot
He is not on the Physician to the Queen list
I like the notes, but they are unsourced.

Hawkeye7 (talk) 19:42, 6 March 2012 (UTC)[reply]