Wikipedia:Peer review/Dwain Chambers/archive1

Dwain Chambers

This peer review discussion has been closed.

• A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for August 2008.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I intend to take it to FA. I'll skip GA because large articles tend to scare off reviewers. I've worked very heavily on this article and the majority is now my own work. I know it needs images but I've requested photos here on wikipedia and by emailing people with photos on flickr (but not with a suitable license...yet). I'm happy with it but i need further opinion/input on - the use of quoteboxes, the use of "notes", the length and content of the article (i.e. does it bore you?) and the use of the rugby infobox (stay or go?). Also I'd appreciate thoughts on the "drug ban" section as it's half and half my own work and others' and not sure if it flows.

Thanks, Sillyfolkboy (talk) 14:02, 1 August 2008 (UTC)

Comments from Ealdgyth (talk · contribs)

• You said you wanted to know what to work on before taking to FAC, so I looked at the sourcing and referencing with that in mind. I reviewed the article's sources as I would at FAC.
  • What makes the following reliable sources?
    • http://www.gbrathletics.com/
    • http://www.belgraveharriers.com/index.htm

Hope this helps. Please note that I don't watchlist Peer Reviews I've done. If you have a question about something, you'll have to drop a note on my talk page to get my attention. (My watchlist is already WAY too long, adding peer reviews would make things much worse.) 16:16, 2 August 2008 (UTC)

• Regarding gbrathletics - I myself was hesitant to use the site at first but it is maintained by Athletics Weekly; a periodical with a history spanning back to the 1940s. When searching I found it constantly in accordance when the same information was available from other confirmed reliable sources. Also, the information which the citations support are of Junior British tournaments and are not readily available is the mainstream press.
• Regarding belgrave harriers: This is similar to a primary source as it is the athletics club Chambers belongs to. The information it backs up is:
  • Firstly; that a time equalled a meeting record. (minor info: can be removed if necessary) Better reference found now.
  • The other I specifically chose to note disappointment over his 2003 World Championships performance. Their documentation of expectation and underperformance was particularly poignant and neutral: interesting given it was actually his own club. If this use is not appropriate I'll remove it. Sillyfolkboy (talk) 06:03, 3 August 2008 (UTC)

Ruhrfisch comments: here are some suggestions for improvement. Mostly nit-picks, looks pretty good to me.

• I believe one of the requirements for FA is that there be an image in the article. See WP:WIAFA Flickr has 120 images on a search for "dwain chambers", 5 of which have a CC license (but not free enough for Wikipedia). Maybe you could ask some of them if they would change their license?
  • I have already done so - about 10 days ago now - but haven't received any confirmation on whether they are willing to release them.
• The lead is cited inconsistently - either the lead has no cites (except for direct quotations and perhaps extraordinary claims) because all of refs are in the main body of the article anyway, or it is cited like anything else. Some extraordinary claims Chambers has won medals on the international stage numerous times and is one of the fastest European sprinters of his generation. in the lead would need a cite I think (especially if his name and birthdate are cited)
  • I've removed some excessive citations in the lead: my intention was to cite only when the statements in the lead could arguably be disputed.
• I know that for many people "athletics" means track and field, but it also has a more general meaning of just being an athlete, so Disillusioned with [track and field] athletics, Chambers joined American football team Hamburg Sea Devils of NFL Europa but the league folded several months later. sounds odd to American English ears. Perhaps add the phrase in brackets for clarity?
  • Rephrased and linked to track and field athletics; I think it still works fine from a British English stance anyway.
• What's wrong with "he"? Try it in The runner managed to register under ten seconds twice in Edmonton but only finished fourth overall, injuring himself in the process and missing the 200 metres. Generally well written but needs a copyedit for things like this and I noticed a few typos (while reading for comprehension)
  • That was my own mini-rebellion against wikipedia style - namely that a large portion of sentences begin with "he/she" or the subject's surname. I'll change it back to fit with standard use in a few instances but I think it works fine mid sentence in other uses. Tell me if you think otherwise.
  • I just did a spell check of the article and couldn't find any typos. Are these not just UK/US differences? (e.g. equalled)
• Provide context to the reader -again just in the lead, when were the Edmonton Games (link says 2001, but it would help to have that in the article). Or when did he move to California? Or when did he join the Hamburg Sea Devils? See WP:PCR
  • Clarified.
• Personal life section is very short and oddly placed after all the tables - could it be combined with other sections? His birth could go in the first section after the lead (are his parents' names known?) His partner and their child could go wherever he met here chronologically.
  • This has been quite difficult in the making of the article as I have verification of the facts but little more info than that - I'm missing all dates (even the year) when he met his wife and had his first child. I haven't come across his parents' names either. What do you suggest I do here?
• I think See also is primarily for links not in the article otherwise - several (Linford Christie etc.) are linked in the article.
  • Reduced links to articles that aren't so well linked.
• Many of the sections are just one paragraph - could some of them be combined to flow better?
  • Fiddled around a bit with the headers - does that improve things on that front? It's difficult sometimes as the sections deal with such different topics (i.e. Athletics >Drugs ban >Rugby >Court case) I'm using the headers to form a hierarchical system in the TOC but if it's still impeding on readability please tell me.
• The Senior athletic and Sydney Olympics sections start the first sentence of a new section with "His ..." or - I prefer "Chambers' ..." just to make it clear. Suppose someone came to the article and just went to that section to read it.
  • Fixed this with header merging and replacement with "Chambers'". Sillyfolkboy (talk) 13:31, 11 August 2008 (UTC)

Hope this helps. Thanks for your reviews here Yours, Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 14:32, 7 August 2008 (UTC)

Second look I like the photos and the changes. I did not find any typos this time - not sure now what they were. Sections seem fine. I like the placement of Personal life better now. Is Skye a boy or girl (assume the latter)? I do not see any problems on a quick read through, seems FAC ready to me (but I am not a sport editor). Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 13:18, 16 August 2008 (UTC)

• Clarified Skye info among other expansion. Taking to FAC. Sillyfolkboy (talk) 22:25, 16 August 2008 (UTC)