Wikipedia:Peer review/2009 Giro d'Italia/archive1

2009 Giro d'Italia edit

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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because…I would like to get it up to Featured Article status, to hopefully make 2009 Giro d'Italia a featured topic. I think it's probably pretty close, as mclean's GA review was extremely comprehensive, but the more eyes the better.

Thanks, Alex finds herself awake at night _{(Talk · What keeps her up)} 10:53, 15 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Ruhrfisch comments: While it is clear that a lot of worj has gone into this article, I think it needs some more work before it is ready for FAC. With WP:WIAFA in mind, here are some suggestions for improvement.

The lead should be an accessible and inviting overview of the whole article. Nothing important should be in the lead only - since it is a summary, it should all be repeated in the body of the article itself. I did not see much if anything on this being the centennial race beyond the lead, for example. Please see WP:LEAD
The article also has many short (one or two sentence) paragraphs that impede the flow. One is in the lead, and the Other classifications section also has many one sentence paragraphs. These should be combined with others or expanded where possible to improve the flow.
Article needs more references, for example the list of bullet points under the bold text Jersey wearers when one rider is leading two or more competitions has no refs. My rule of thumb is that every quote, every statistic, every extraordinary claim and every paragraph needs a ref. See WP:CITE and WP:V
There are also some places where more context has to be provided for the reader. For example in the lead I would explicitly say that Milan - Sanremo is another bicycle race in The eleventh stage also went over the Passo del Turchino, a climb used every year in [the] Milan – Sanremo [cycle race]. Or in On 22 July, the International Cycling Union announced Di Luca's A-samples tested positive for CERA on 20 May and 28 May.[4] I would add "banned substance" before CERA and perhaps add more there (saying what kind of substance it is).
A model article is useful for ideas and examples to follow - Cycling at the 2008 Summer Olympics – Men's road race is also on men's cycling and is a FA and may be a useful model.
- Yes, I was one of that article's principal authors. It's a one-day race, while this is a stage race. Really quite different. Alex finds herself awake at night _{(Talk · What keeps her up)} 17:35, 31 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]
The hardest criteria for most articles to meet at WP:FAC is the one (1a) for a professional level of prose. This needs a copyedit - here area few examples (not an exhaustive list):
- Avoid needless repetition to make the text tighter. Avoid "ninth stage" twice in one sentence: Controversy arose during the ninth stage, when the riders staged a protest of what they viewed as unsafe riding conditions in that ninth stage, and those that preceded it.
- Or is "themselves" needed in Six different riders themselves won multiple stages – Cavendish, Petacchi, Menchov, Di Luca,[40][56] Carlos Sastre,[43][57] and Michele Scarponi.[58][59]
- Or this sentence could be rewritten to avoid three uses of "classification": The fourth classification was the young rider classification, calculated the same way as the general classification, but with only riders born on or after 1 January 1984 eligible.
- Sentence does not need both "additionally" and "also" here: Additionally, there was also a points classification, indicated with a mauve jersey.

Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). I do not watch peer reviews, so if you have questions or comments, please contact me on my talk page. Yours, Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 02:39, 31 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I reviewed two other articles while waiting for comments on this one. Thanks for the review. Alex finds herself awake at night _{(Talk · What keeps her up)} 17:35, 31 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I have addressed the points that I feel improve the article (which is most of them). Please realize that saying "see WP:CITE" and such as if I've never read them is quite condescending and insulting. Alex finds herself awake at night _{(Talk · What keeps her up)} 06:20, 1 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I am closing this peer review, as I don't expect any further feedback and would like to go to FAC. Alex finds herself awake at night _{(Talk · What keeps her up)} 07:09, 1 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]