Wikipedia:Peer review/Émile Lemoine/archive1

Émile Lemoine

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I created this article a while ago and would like to get it up to FA status. I'm not entirely sure where the places in need of improvement lie, though, so I've brought this to peer review. Cheers, Nousernamesleft^{copper, not wood} 22:50, 16 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from The Rambling Man (talk · contribs)

Hello Nousernamesleft, some comments...

Firstly most would say it's a little short to get to FA right now, so perhaps GA would be a better starting point.
- It's already a GA. It's comprehensive; and I think that that, rather than length, is the standard for FA. Nousernamesleft^{copper, not wood} 23:28, 21 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  - Oops, didn't realise! The Rambling Man (talk) 17:57, 22 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]
"His best-known and written-about contribution to the latter field" - "His best known and most written about contribution to geometry..."
- Done Nousernamesleft^{copper, not wood} 23:28, 21 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]
The lead for an article of this size should probably be no larger than two paragraphs, check with WP:LEAD.
- Done I siphoned it off to another section. Nousernamesleft^{copper, not wood} 23:28, 21 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]
"...Nathan Court wrote that he..." - "wrote that Lemoine..."
- Done Nousernamesleft^{copper, not wood} 23:28, 21 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]
"A magazine he had published much of his work in," - either "A magazine in which he had much of his work published..." or "A magazine which had published much of his work..."
- Done Nousernamesleft^{copper, not wood} 23:28, 21 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Expand on École Polytechnique, what it is, where it is etc.
- Done Nousernamesleft^{copper, not wood} 23:28, 21 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Infobox says one of his fields was music, but the lead says he was simply an amateur musician, does this constitute work in that field?
- Removed. Nousernamesleft^{copper, not wood} 23:28, 21 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Infobox says "civil engineer" as his Institution, wasn't it just his job?
- Sorry, but I don't understand what it meant by "institution," so I assumed it meant job. What does it mean? Nousernamesleft^{copper, not wood} 23:28, 21 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  - I think it means the institutions he worked for like the ecole... The Rambling Man (talk) 17:57, 22 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]
    - Done Nousernamesleft^{copper, not wood} 19:10, 23 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]
"Lemoine was born in Quimper, France, on November 22, 1840" infobox says "born October 11, 1840"
- Done Nousernamesleft^{copper, not wood} 23:28, 21 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Infobox says he was a Roman Catholic, no citation for this and no mention in the article to support it.
- I copied the infobox from another article, and forgot to remove that. Removed. Nousernamesleft^{copper, not wood} 23:28, 21 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Infobox says he won the Francoeur prize, but this isn't mentioned in the main article at all.
- Done Nousernamesleft^{copper, not wood} 23:28, 21 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]
The prose is a little choppy, a large number of short sentences which don't flow too smoothly.
- What specific parts? Nousernamesleft^{copper, not wood} 23:28, 21 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  - Take the "Later years" as an example. Seven sentences, three paragraphs... not too smooth... The Rambling Man (talk) 17:59, 22 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]
    - Done Nousernamesleft^{copper, not wood} 19:12, 23 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Lyons points to a disambiguation page.
- Done Nousernamesleft^{copper, not wood} 23:28, 21 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]

That's about it for me. Hope these points help with your push towards FA! All the best, The Rambling Man (talk) 15:16, 21 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]