Comments Looks good at the moment, but there are still some things that need changing. I have made a few edits here. These are my comments:
- The first thing that strikes me when reading the lead through is that the names of certain singles and albums are repeated in quick succession. Thankful and "The Trouble With Love Is" both begin sentences that they have just ended, and the second sentence of the second paragraph uses "Breakaway" twice. I'd recommend rewriting these sentences slightly.
- The caption of the lead image isn't a complete sentence, so doesn't need a terminating full stop.
- You don't use the abbreviations for Bertelsmann Music Group or the National Football League again, so there's probably no need to include them.
- Per MOS:NUM, "twenty-year-old" -> "20-year-old" and "co-wrote 6 songs" -> "co-wrote six songs"
- "follow suit" is an WP:IDIOM and needs to be rewritten.
- Does "two Grammy Awards" refer to two wins, or two nominations? The way the sentence reads at the moment, it sounds like two Grammy nominations.
- That controversy mentioned in the Ryan Tedder image caption certainly piqued my interest, but it's not mentioned again the article. I'd suggest either expanding a bit in the lead on what the controversy was, or else removing that sentence from the caption.
- Done. Expanded it in the lead.
- It might be worth including in the key exactly what "N/A" represents – songs that were featured on single releases only, right?
- Done. Added footnotes in the "n/a".
- "A Moment Like This" needs to sort under M rather than A.
- I believe that the normal convention is for titles of double A-sides to be separated by spaces, i.e. "Before Your Love"/"A Moment Like This" -> "Before Your Love" / "A Moment Like This"
- "Don't Waste Your Time" needs to be above "Don't You Wanna Stay" when the page loads. Similarly, "Honestly" needs to be above "Hole", "What Doesn't Kill You" needs to be above "Where Is Your Heart", and "The Trouble With Love Is" needs to be below "Timeless".
- The link to Kelly Clarkson discography features in the navbox at the bottom of the page, so, per WP:SEEALSO, it needn't be included in the SA section as well.
- Per MOS:EMDASH, spached hypens and em dashes needs to be spaced en dashes.
- Is this this on the references? I replaced the em dashes on the references with en dashes.
A Thousand Doors (talk | contribs) 22:24, 10 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
- I fixed all except the last one. I'm not so sure if its on the references you're referring to. Please check. Thanks! Chihciboy (talk) 09:38, 11 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
- Yeah, the references. Also the spaced hyphen in Further information section.
- It's good that the info about the controversy has been expanded upon in the lead, but my concern now is that the lead is quite long – it looks like it's about 25% longer than it was before, and I wonder if that is too long for a list of this size. Personally, I reckon you could probably get rid of the third paragraph entirely, and split the second one into two smaller paragraphs (with a new paragraph beginning at "In 2009..."). But that's up to you.
- Done. I split the second paragraph into two, with second one containing the fourth and fifth album cycles. I haven't removed the last paragraph yet, but if I still think it should be removed it's fine for me.
- Statements about songs' "commercial" or "modest" success and "worldwide hit" don't seem to be referenced. Also, the second sentence of the second pargraph uses "commercial success" twice.
- Done. I removed some of the statements that I can't find a citation to support. And referenced the other ones.
- Citations need to be in ascending order, i.e. [8][4] -> [4][8]
"Already Gone"'s -> "Already Gone{{"'}}s
- The List of songs heading doesn't need the first two words.
- "Some Kind Of Miracle" -> "Some Kind of Miracle"
- Is there a more reliable source than Last.fm to cite "Up to the Mountain"? I could scrobble a track in such a way that it suggests that Kelly Clarkson has recorded a version of Bohemian Rhapsody, even though she obviously hasn't.
- Done. Replaced it with a Billboard one.
- Typographic quotation marks (i.e. “ and ”) need to be replaced with typewriter ones (i.e. ").
A Thousand Doors (talk | contribs) 17:20, 21 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Tantalisingly close, as far as I can see, I just have a few more comments:
- A couple of sentences use the word "Grammy" three times – to fix this, rather than specifying in which awards show the songs were nominated (e.g. "at the 48th Grammy Awards"), you could simply say in which year the nomination occurred (e.g. "in 2006").
- Speaking of which, four sentences begin with "In [year], Clarkson". It might be worth restructuring a couple of them just for the sake of variety (e.g. "Clarkson released her fourth studio album, All I Ever Wanted, in 2009.")
- "include:" -> "included" reads better to me.
- The back of The Smoakstack Sessions Vol. 2 CD cover lists its third track as simply "That I Would Be Good/Use Somebody", rather than "That I Would Be Good"/"Use Somebody".
A Thousand Doors (talk | contribs) 21:45, 26 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
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