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Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Sloan–Parker House/archive2

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The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was promoted by Laser brain via FACBot (talk) 15:03, 16 December 2018 [1].

Sloan–Parker House edit

Nominator(s): West Virginian (talk) 23:52, 21 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]

This article details the history and architecture of a significant historic property on the National Register of Historic Places in Hampshire County, West Virginia. This article is consistent with other NRHP-related articles in Hampshire County that are Featured Articles, including Capon Chapel, Capon Lake Whipple Truss Bridge, Hebron Church (Intermont, West Virginia), Literary Hall, Old Pine Church, and Valley View (Romney, West Virginia). I welcome your reviews and suggestions to further improve this article so that it fulfills FA status. Note to reviewers: I have addressed issues noted during this article's first FA candidacy. Thank you in advance! -- West Virginian (talk) 23:52, 21 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Tony1 edit

1a, lead and a bit further:

  • "The Sloan–Parker House (also historically known as the Stone House, the Parker Family Residence, and the Richard Sloan House)"—Do you need "also"? (You do need it in the first section, though.)
  • Tony1, first and foremost, thank you so much for taking the time to engage in this thorough review! I appreciate your guidance and suggestions, and I will be addressing them all as soon as I can. Because the alternative names do not fit neatly into any of the sections, I have moved them into an explanatory footnote. Please let me know if this is acceptable. -- West Virginian (talk) 11:52, 22 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • Is the link to a list of all US states of any relevance to readers at this point? Or, frankly, at any point in this article? Does "Ireland" need to be linked?
  • "was erected in about 1790" might be a smoother ride for readers; up to you.
  • In the tradeoff between bumpiness and rhythm/meaning, what do you think about removing the first comma? "Sloan eloped with Van Horn's daughter Charlotte, and they settled in the Mill Creek valley, where they built the original "Stone House" of the Sloan–Parker House."
  • But here, you might consider inserting a comma before "who": "The Sloans had ten children, including John and Thomas Sloan who each represented Hampshire County in the Virginia House of Delegates." Children in the legislature? How modern. ", who both went on to represent"?
  • "Counterpanes"—very unfamiliar, but linked to the whole article "Quilt". Probably a link is good, but please, why not to the section "Block designs" at that target article? And if it were me, I'd write "[[Quilt#Block designs|counterpanes]] (quilts with block-designs)" to save us the trouble.
  • Do we need "stage" and "line" twice? Maybe, but not if we don't: "operated a stagecoach line on the Moorefield and North Branch Turnpike stage line".
  • "and its use as a stagecoach stop ceased after the completion of the Hampshire Southern Railroad in 1910."—maybe, but "ceased" is a marked word (cease and desist). Need to be that strong? "ended" would be more neutral.
  • Do we need "positioned"?
  • "The majority of the stone section's flooring"—we're calculating percentages here? "Most of ...".
  • "approximately": English can be ugly. "about"?
  • "upon" ... whilst, amongst, within. Choose the plain version where possible.
  • And way down, a caption I noticed: "North and west elevations, as seen in July 2016". How can that be freed of redundant fluff?

I'm not saying this deserves to be withdrawn, but it would be a good idea, soon, to print it out and go through it in detail with a slashing pen. Commas, linking, redundant wording. Tony (talk) 09:02, 22 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]

  • Tony1, thank you again for your review and helpful suggestions above. I have addressed each one, and I will continue to remove superfluous language as I find it. Please let me know if you have any further guidance in the meantime. -- West Virginian (talk) 12:07, 22 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Support from Vami_IV edit

This article was a pleasant read, very nicely portrayed some vintage Americana. –♠Vami_IV†♠ 10:44, 24 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]

  • Vami_IV, thank you so much for your kind words and for taking the time to review this article and provide your guidance and suggestions below! I will post here once I am finished addressing each and every one! -- West Virginian (talk) 13:55, 28 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • "They paid each of their laborers a wage of 6½ cents per day of labor." Irrelevant?
  • "became well known in the region." What region exactly?
  • "He also served as a justice of Hampshire County from 1824 until 1828,[20][23] a surveyor of Hampshire County in 1827,[24] a sheriff of Hampshire County in 1839,[20][25] and a member of the Virginia House of Delegates representing Hampshire County from 1825 to 1827.[26]" There are three too-many mentions of Hampshire County in this sentence.
  • "Frederick, Hampshire, and Morgan counties." Link to Frederick and Morgan counties here.
  • "The Sloan–Parker House, as of 2018," Is the property subject to change?
  • "as is the old rear door on the stone section's south elevation." Move to the paragraph on the south facade.
  • "This fireplace, along with an outdoor summer kitchen, was used for cooking." Superfluous, remove.
  • "Widely spaced unhewn logs" This links to "Log house", but doesn't actually say loghouse. Is that what you meant?
  • "The Sloan–Ludwick Cemetery[49] is approximately 415 feet (126 m) northeast of the Sloan–Parker House, and is located in a grove of trees at the edge of an agricultural field." Simplify
  • Vami_IV, thank you again for your review and suggestions. I've addressed each and every one in the article's prose. I incorporated all your suggestions, and where there was a question or recommendation to remove, I removed that content. Please let me know if you have any further comments or suggestions in the meantime! -- West Virginian (talk) 14:22, 28 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]
"The south elevation (rear façade) of the stone section remains intact, and serves as the northern wall of the wooden frame section. A window in the stone section's second story was removed to connect the second story of the wooden frame addition. Likewise, what used to be the stone section's rear door now connects the first floor of the stone section with the wooden frame section.[48] This door is also topped by a four-pane transom window.[48]", "They still contain markings of letters and numbers that enabled the proper placement of components as they were lifted from the ground during construction.[48] The majority of the stone section's flooring, and the hardware on the doors, are original.[48]" and "The interior of the stone section contains two floors, each with two rooms, in addition to a basement and attic. The former kitchen and dining room (or "keeping rooms") are on the west side of the basement level, and feature a large fireplace.[48] The east side of the basement serves as a large storage area.[48]" Combine citations here. There is a lot of this in the prose. –♠Vami_IV†♠ 15:15, 28 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • Vami_IV, thank you for your continued review of this article! Your time and guidance are much appreciated. I have modified this section so that there are not so many redundant citations. Please take a look and let me know if you see any outstanding issues. Thanks again! -- West Virginian (talk) 15:29, 3 November 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Images are appropriately licensed. Nikkimaria (talk) 17:16, 27 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]

CommentsSupport from KJP1 edit

An interesting article. Some comments/suggestions below.

Lead
  • "who each (later) represented Hampshire County in the Virginia House of Delegates" - following an earlier point, would "later" work here?
  • "and a wooden frame addition (built c. 1900) perpendicular to the original stone section" - here, and in the Architecture section, you use "perpendicular" where I'd use "at a right angle". Just ignore me if it's a US/UK thing.
  • The chronology of the lead stops c.1910. Should it not have a line on the later Parker history, opening etc.?
Geography and setting
  • This is very detailed. Too detailed?
Sloan family ownership
  • "After encountering healthy cattle from Old Fields in Hardy County, they decided to relocate there" - this sounds rather odd. Did they meet on the road and exchange pleasantries? "observing" / "noticing" or some such?
  • "the large house afforded the couple sufficient space to raise them. The house also provided the family with the necessary space..." - to avoid the close repetition, could you replace the first "space" with "room"?
Parker family ownership
  • "She and her husband opened the Sloan–Parker House for tours in 1962 and in July 1976 when..." - I don't get the timing here. Did they open just in 1962, and again in June 1976? What about 1963-75, and post-June 76? Could the wording be clarified?
  • The full list of the present owners' children almost strays into Facebook territory for me. Does it really have any significance in relation to the house?
Architecture
  • Sources - as a general observation, this section is heavily reliant on the single source (48). I well appreciate the challenges around finding sources for minor buildings; most of my Monmouthshire Grade II*s are sourced to Pevsner and the CADW site. And that's sometimes it. Are there any other sources available? My guess is not, otherwise you'd have used them.
Stone section
  • "The majority of the stone section's flooring, and the hardware on the doors". You could link hardware. I see it's US usage, but it's less clear to us Brits, and I suspect even less clear elsewhere.
Ancillary structures
  • "Widely spaced unhewn logs are located within the barn's interior and on its south elevation". This threw me and I'm still not sure I get it after reading Source 48. At first I thought they were just logs strewn around for decorative?/illustrative? purposes. But the source says "on" the interior, not within. Are they actually cladding? I think it needs clarifying.
Sources
  • Waybacked newspaper clippings, e.g. 39, 41, 44 - it may be my machine but these don't work for me. They don't let me get into the actual articles, just the first bits.
Images
  • The two images of the North & West elevations are very similar. You don't have any of the other frontages?

All in all, a well-researched article on an interesting building. I'll be happy to support after you've had a chance to consider, but not necessarily action, the suggestions above. KJP1 (talk) 10:00, 4 November 2018 (UTC)[reply]

  • KJP1, thank you so incredibly much for your review of this article. I have indeed actioned most of your suggestions, which have greatly improved the article's flow and quality! Unfortunately, the archived NewspaperArchive.com newspapers are not rendering properly at the present. Do you have any suggestions for how to handle this in the citations? Perhaps remove the archive links and add the subscription templates? I also kept perpendicular after trying right angle. Everything else has been integrated into the article per your guidance. Thank you so much for your time and expertise! -- West Virginian (talk) 14:22, 4 November 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • KJP1, I went ahead and removed the archival links from the NewspaperArchive.com source, and added the subscription required template. -- West Virginian (talk) 15:12, 4 November 2018 (UTC)[reply]
All looking good to me. It's a shame about Wayback as I don't generally like using paid-for sites if they can be avoided, but probably better that than the frustration of not being able to get in. Pleased to Support. KJP1 (talk) 18:04, 4 November 2018 (UTC)[reply]
KJP1, thank you so much for taking the time to review this article and for providing your guidance above! I share your frustration, and will continue to look for a solution to this issue in the meantime! -- West Virginian (talk) 23:43, 5 November 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Support from Usernameunique edit

I reviewed this article at GA and supported its first go-round at FAC, a nomination that appears to have failed largely because of an inconveniently-timed period of inactivity by the nominator. It was a very good article then, as it is now, and I believe well deserving of being designated a featured article. --Usernameunique (talk) 23:32, 24 November 2018 (UTC)[reply]

  • Usernameunique, thank you tremendously for taking the time to review this article for its GA candidacy, its first FA candidacy, and this one. I always appreciate your guidance and expertise. Thanks again! — West Virginian (talk) 08:41, 26 November 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Quick comments by Dudley edit

  • I doubt whether this article needs a full review as I see it already has three supports but I have a couple of comments on the lead.
  • " it was Hampshire County's first property listed on the National Register of Historic Places in 1975." You have already said this above.
  • "a wooden frame addition (built c. 1900) perpendicular to the original stone section" I am not sure what "perpendicular" means here. Would adjacent be a better word? Dudley Miles (talk) 18:50, 11 December 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • Dudley Miles, thank you so much for taking the time to review this article and provide the above suggestions! I concurred with both and made adjustments accordingly. Thanks again! -- West Virginian (talk) 11:19, 13 December 2018 (UTC)[reply]
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
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