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Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Kevin O'Halloran

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The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was promoted by User:SandyGeorgia 19:58, 8 November 2008 [1].

Kevin O'Halloran edit

Nominator(s): YellowMonkey (click here to choose Australia's next top model!)

Olympic gold medal winning swimmer... Satisfies WIAFA I think. YellowMonkey (click here to choose Australia's next top model!) 07:43, 20 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comment: Couple of disambiguation problems: "Head of the River" and "Swan River." Also, with just seven notes and two references, is this article really detailed enough for FA? The two internet links worked OK though. The copyright on the two pictures looks to be OK as well, but it is a shame you don't have one of Kevin O'Halloran himself.-- Myosotis Scorpioides 10:08, 20 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

  • Comment I've made a couple copyedits, so you might want to look over the diffs to assure I didn't mess anything up. Also, it seems that seven references are quite few for such an athlete. Are there any newspaper articles or such that might turn up some relevant information? –Juliancolton Tropical Cyclone 16:28, 20 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
15 now, and there are three books that are used. YellowMonkey (click here to choose Australia's next top model!) 07:39, 22 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments - sources look okay, links checked out withe link checker tool. Ealdgyth - Talk 12:47, 21 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments - It's shorter than Bob Windle, who's also up at FAC now, and I'm somewhat concerned by that. Windle isn't particularly long, though I do think it scrapes by the comprehensiveness requirement. I will, however, offer my usual prose review.

  • "so in late-1955..." Remove hyphen.
  • Swimming career: Delink rowing, which is linked in the previous section.
  • "late-1955" again.
  • "He did this despite suffering from ear trouble, making him the fifth fastest swimmer in the world for the calendar year, earning him an individual berth in the 400 m event at the Olympics. Because I don't like the double -ings, either add and before the second comma or remove said comma.
  • 1956 Melbourne Olympics: "Hamilton swam a very slow third leg of 2 min 15.4 sec and conceding 8.8 sec to the British." Change conceding to conceded, for past tense.
  • "With its strong depth, Australia was heavily favoured to win the relay, with four of the fastest individual swimmers in the event, with Sports Illustrated predicting a world record and a victory margin of around 14 metres." Three withs here. It doesn't read well when I say it out loud to myself. If this is revamped, a conversion should be provided for the metres to feet. I saw this in a recent FAC that used many measurements in feet, and I assume that it should be provided for metres too. If I'm wrong, let me know.
I think that this isn't the case. Nobody will say a 333.33 ft freestyle race. Nobody has asked for FACs on motor racing to compulsorily have mph for the speed of the cars if the competition format is not imperial. YellowMonkey (click here to choose Australia's next top model!) 02:14, 24 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Yeah, you're probably right. Don't know why that bothered me and not the 100 other meter examples in these swimming articles. Just disregard that comment. Giants2008 (17-14) 02:23, 27 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Later years: "...the Kevin O' Halloran Memorial Pool in his honour. and he was..." The period wants to be a comma.
  • General comment: I think the fact that he was the first Western Australian to win an Olympic medal should be moved up to the Olympics section. This is probably the most important fact about him, and it needs more emphasis put on it. Giants2008 (17-14) 02:21, 23 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
I did all the tweaks. This article is relatively short because O'Halloran only competed at 3 Australian Championships and only got a placing at one of the them and was never champion. With Windle, he won 19 titles and competed about 5-6 times and in 8 Olympic races across two campaigns and competed at the Commonwealth Games twice, while O'Halloran only totalled two races in one Olympic campaign. YellowMonkey (click here to choose Australia's next top model!) 02:14, 24 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Weak Support, until I get a chance to look at it more in-depth. After a few copyedits and a general read-through, I found nothing of terrible concern. I'll most likely change my !vote to support in time. –Juliancolton Tropical Cyclone 02:00, 26 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Support. No major problems here, a well-written, well-sourced, and an overall good article. Nothing sticks out to me that violates the requirements for featured article status. Also a good read. Khoikhoi 02:49, 3 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Provisional support As long as the following issues can be resolved, I will support.

  • This source states that it is the work of several people. What qualifications do they have? They appear to just be people interested in the topic. What makes this site reliable?
It says "All of them are members of the International Society of Olympic Historians (ISOH)" YellowMonkey (click here to choose Australia's next top model!) 00:24, 4 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]
What is that? The page also says it is "not sponsored by or affiliated with the Olympics, the United States Olympic Committee or the International Olympic Committee". Awadewit (talk) 16:02, 4 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]
It's here.[2] [3] The head of the group is Bill Mallon, who is a published Olympics history writer. [4]. The VP of the ISOH is David Wallechinsky, who has published many books on the Olympics [5]. The current P of the ISOH has also published Olympic books and served in the movemnet. [6] YellowMonkey (click here to choose Australia's next top model!) 00:04, 5 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Ok. Awadewit (talk) 00:16, 6 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]
I've hidden these pending a reply from teh uploader (active editor). YellowMonkey (click here to choose Australia's next top model!) 00:25, 4 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Aside from the above concerns, I feel that the article is decently comprehensive and well-written. Awadewit (talk) 20:24, 3 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]

The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
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