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Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Economy of Ohio/archive2

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The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was not promoted by User:SandyGeorgia 22:14, 1 November 2008 [1].

Economy of Ohio edit

Nominator(s): Jd027talk

I am nominating Economy of Ohio for featured article status because I believe it meets the requirements to do so. Significant improvements have been made to the article since its last FAC, and Economy of Ohio is now a "Good Article." The sources are varied, and there is a reliable, governmental source that is constant throughout the article. The article is not overly verbose, while at the same time gets the point across. Comments? Jd027talk 22:08, 22 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

–Juliancolton Tropical Cyclone 22:33, 22 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

  • Oppose for now.
  • It would be nice if the lead could be fleshed out.
  • The economy of Ohio includes many historically strong industries, such as motor vehicle manufacturing, more traditional industries, such as agriculture, and new and developing sectors such as the information industry and food processing. - Awkwardly worded. Might be better if the comma after "industries" was removed.
  • Some of the largest food processing plants in the world are also located in Ohio: the world's largest yogurt processing plant is operated by Dannon in Auglaize County, Campbell's operates the world's largest soup processing plant in Napoleon, Heinz operates the world's single largest ketchup processing plant in Fremont, and General Mills operates the world's largest frozen pizza processing plant in Wellston. - If I were speaking this aloud, I'd run out of breath!
  • Wal-Mart is by far the largest single employer in Ohio,[2] with approximately 52,000 Ohio employees. - Remove "by far".
  • The largest Ohio employer with headquarters in Ohio is Kroger, with approximately 36,500 employees, and headquarters in Cincinnati, Ohio. - "The largest Ohio employer ... in Ohio". Also, as we know we're talking about Ohio, no need to specify that in city names.
  • If Ohio were to be its own country, it would rank between Turkey and the Netherlands in its nominal gross domestic product. - Relevance?
  • The last paragraph of the General statistics section is very choppy.
  • Don't force image sizes.
  • Ohio ranks 1st in the production of Swiss cheese out of all 50 states,[1] 2nd in eggs,[1] 3rd in tomatoes,[1] 6th in soybeans,[1] and 6th in corn for grain.[1] - As long as it's the same ref, you only have to cite it once at the end of the sentence. This happens a lot in the article.
  • The frozen food industry is the largest sub-industry,[1] surpassing even the state of California by $700 million in frozen food shipments,[1] in which Ohio ships $2.4 billion dollars of frozen food shipments annually. - Removee "even".
  • Ohio also ranks 1st out of every state in the United States in frozen food shipments and Ohio's frozen food industry accounts for 20.7% of the United States' frozen food processing. - Remove "out of every state".
  • I see quite a bit of overlinking. For example, you have three of the same links in some sentences: Major food processing companies in Ohio include Chiquita Brands International (Cincinnati), Kroger (Cincinnati), T. Marzetti Company (Columbus), The J.M. Smucker Co. (Orrville), and The Iams Company (Cincinnati).
  • Ohio Casualty, a subsidiary of Liberty Mutual, Fairfield, Ohio. - Why is "Ohio Casualty" bolded?

I'll provide some more later. Cheers, –Juliancolton Tropical Cyclone 17:15, 23 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

  • Please see WP:ACCESS and WP:MOS#Images regarding the placement of images within sections (not above), no left-aligned images under third-level headings, and the order of items within sections. SandyGeorgia (Talk) 02:19, 24 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Query Thanks that's an interesting read, a few questions did occur to me and I wonder if you have sources that cover any of them:
  1. I don't know Ohio but I would have thought a geography section would be useful, whether it said that the economic activity was evenly spread across the state or more likely that historically towns x, y and z had most of the economic activity but since the 30s the economy has moved to areas a, b or c, whilst d,e and f parts of the state remain agricultural.
  2. Ohio isn't an island, so there will be commuters crossing the state boundary. If the numbers balance this is a minor point, but if Ohio is a net importer or net exporter of commuters then this would be a significant part of the economy. Also unemployment is relevant here especially if there are particular structural concentrations.
  3. Most of the article concentrates on the Private sector - though a particular airbase appears in the list of major employers. I would assume that the Public sector would be an important part of the economy, this would be worth covering especially if the state has markedly more or less than its fair share of Federal spending.
  4. Most references to market share are US specific and ranked by state but US states are not of uniform size - though this might not matter much if Ohio is an average size state. But I would find the comparators more meaningful if they were in terms of x% of the Ohio economy is financial services compared to y% of the US on average and z% of OECD economies.
  5. Trade. I didn't see a reference to how national or international the Ohio economy is. For example X% of Ohio goods and services are sold within Ohio y% in the rest of the US and Z% internationally, whilst a% of Ohios imports come from the US and B% internationally with (hypothetical example) with China, Canada the US states of Illinois and New York as the main trading partners.
  6. Skills. There is mention of some white collar and IT businesses but an indication of how skilled the Ohio workforce is in terms of graduates, apprenticeships or literacy vis a vis US or international standards would be relevant as it is the main driver of much of the "new economy" ϢereSpielChequers 13:24, 24 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
this might be an interesting source re Cleveland and Cincinnati and structural economic decline. ϢereSpielChequers
  • Comment, is the constant repetition of the same citations truly necessary? See the Information section, for example, where the same reference ([8]) is repeated fifteen times in a row. --Aqwis (talk – contributions) 15:16, 26 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Comment — it doesn't appear that the nominator has made any effort to resolve the issues raised. –Juliancolton Tropical Cyclone 15:20, 26 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Oppose for a simple reason: Ohio has existed as a state for 205 years and this article covers at best 10 of those years (not coincidentally, the last 10). Put some serious effort into an economic history section, and I may well revise my opinion. Biruitorul Talk 23:17, 31 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
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