Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Davenport, Iowa/archive2
- The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.
The article was not promoted by SandyGeorgia 16:43, 5 December 2009 [1].
Davenport, Iowa edit
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I am nominating this for featured article because I have worked really hard over the last 2 years to improve it. The article was not promoted at the last FAC, 366 days ago, and I have done extensive work since then to improve the article. I believe the article meets the FA criteria. CTJF83 chat 01:29, 19 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Technical comments by an odd name (help honey)
- No dab links
, but the external link for ref 40 (a davenportone.com PDF) is dead (goes to main page). - Most images have alt text
, but...The infobox images are missing alts. The four big ones need it; the two small flags do not."A large f-story red brick building with many windows"—is "f-story" a technical term, or did you mean "four-story"?
Speaking of four, spell out small (0–9) numbers.- Is it possible to spell out the numbers in the {{convert}} template? It didn't work for me CTJF83 chat 08:07, 19 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- Don't worry about those cases: "Measurements, stock prices, and other quasi-continuous quantities are normally stated in figures, even when the value is a small positive integer", says the guideline. I mainly meant the alt text, which still has a few (like "A row of 3 older buildings"). --an odd name 10:53, 19 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- Is it possible to spell out the numbers in the {{convert}} template? It didn't work for me CTJF83 chat 08:07, 19 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]
--an odd name 01:45, 19 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Support on 1b and 4—the article isn't too long, and deals with all the stuff I'd expect a city article to in good detail, and separates large parts to other articles. You mention food a bit in "Events and festivals"; comparing this and New York City, I suppose more could be added about cuisine, if they have some distinctive food of their own. (See also discussion on my talk page.) --an odd name (help honey) 00:17, 24 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- Perhaps your a little confused. The only mention of NYC is that a park was named after Central Park. There is no unique cuisine, I just meant like fair food at the Bix Festival. CTJF83 chat 00:33, 24 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- I just chose NYC as another featured article to gauge this article's comprehensiveness. I didn't intend to compare the two cities in any other way. --an odd name (help honey) 00:37, 24 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]
CommentFifelfoo (talk) 01:52, 19 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- 2c
- Refdates are consistent YYYY-MM-DD
- Corporate Authored Works should list their corporate author in shortcites, shortcites which shorten titles should only do so at the subtitle indicator (a colon, or semi-colon.) In relation to: Historic Preservation in Davenport, Iowa; which should read, "Plan and Zoning Commission, Historic preservation in Davenport, Iowa for inclusion in the Davenport Comprehensive Plan"
- Manual short citations should end with a full-stop (en_US:period) to match fullcites in the footnotes
- Please check all your newspaper articles for by-lines, and indicate the author if a by-line exists.
- In general, please check your web references for authors. Fifelfoo (talk) 01:52, 19 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- I'm confused by your points that start with Corporate, and Manual, please explain more. I fixed the other two. CTJF83 chat 08:25, 19 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- No worries. When a work is authored by a corporate entity, like a government, government department, company, etc, for example by the "Plan and Zoning Commission," it is usual to treat the corporate entity as the author of the work. So |author=Plan and Zoning Commission
- Where you provide a short citation, for example, "Svendsen, p. 82" the citation does not end with a period. When you provide a long citation, for example, "Doxsie, Don (1994-07-31). "Q-C race has grown from a humble beginning into one of the nation's most spectacular events". Quad-City Times. Retrieved 2009-09-22." the citation ends with a period. Its a matter of stylistic choice if you go for "no periods" "periods only for long cites" "periods for all". (A short citation is a citation where the work is referenced in full in the bibliography, and you provide minimal identifying material, a longcite is when you provide the citation in full in the footnotes).
- Does that help? Fifelfoo (talk) 09:37, 19 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- I'm confused by your points that start with Corporate, and Manual, please explain more. I fixed the other two. CTJF83 chat 08:25, 19 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- Could you also check that your webcitations aren't really other works, say, newspaper articles, with a signed author? Fifelfoo (talk) 10:33, 20 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- Comments -
Just a general picky thing, but you're a bit confused about what a publisher is. It's not "Quad City Memory" but "Davenport Public Library" that publishes the work that's entitled "Quad City Memory". Same for "weather.com" which is the work, and the publisher is "Weather Channel", similarly throughout. It's not worth an oppose, but it makes it much harder to check sources for reliablity when the two things are confused.- For ref 67, do you want TV By the Numbers as the publisher, or Nielsen company? CTJF83 chat 20:54, 19 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]
NOAA or National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration? Need to be consistent in how you refer to entities throughout.Newspapers titles in the references should be in italics. If you're using {{cite news}}, use the work field for the title of the paper, and the publisher field for the name of the actual company that publishes the paper- : Otherwise, sources look okay, links checked out with the link checker tool. Ealdgyth - Talk 16:34, 19 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- Comment. Alt text done; thanks. Alt text is
mostlygood (thanks), but there's one problem with File:Scott County Iowa Incorporated and Unincorporated areas Davenport Highlighted.svg. Its alt text focuses on the visual appearance of the map (e.g., whether it uses red to highlight); instead, it should convey to the visually impaired reader the gist of the map (e.g., something like "Located on the center south border of a county that is on southern side of the hump on the eastern border of Iowa."). Please see WP:ALT#Maps for guidance on alt text for maps.Eubulides (talk) 17:54, 20 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Anyone else see further issues? --an odd name 23:03, 3 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Oppose In my opinion, there are significant 1a, 1b, and 1c issues with this article.
- The lead is not a good summary of the article per WP:LEAD - major sections of the article, such as the "Geography" and "Demographics" are skipped over.
- The "History" section is sourced primarily to a timeline and a pictorial history. This has created a "factoid" effect. Each paragraph is about a small incident in the town's history, but the section does not convey the overarching history of the town or the town's place in Iowa history. For example, an entire paragraph is devoted to a steamboat crash and another to an orphanage, but neither explain why these are crucial to the development of the town. Later in the article, there is a passing reference to the German immigrants that settled the town, but no mention is made of this in the "History" section. There is a lot of information published on German immigration to Iowa. For example, see this book, which even has an essay specifically about Davenport in it.
- I'm very concerned that some of the information in African Americans in Davenport, Iowa has not been summarized in this article, particularly some of the history of race relations in the town.
- What about the political history of the town? I think more needs to be added on that either in the "History" or the "Government" section.
- The first chiropractic school in the world, Palmer College of Chiropractic, was founded in 1897 - I expected to hear more about this school in the "Education" section but did not. Also, this detail seems more appropriate for the "Education" section than the "Geography" section.
- The prose also needs some work. There are two primary problems with it: 1) repetition; 2) stiltedness. Let me give two examples to highlight what I am talking about. A good copyeditor will need to go through the article and work on it to fix these problems.
- Ex: There are six public intermediate schools and twenty-two public elementary schools. Phebe Sudlow was the first female public school superintendent in the United States.[81] She was superintendent for Davenport schools from 1874–1878. There are also six private kindergarten-through-eighth-grade schools. - The fact about the first female school superintendent is jarring and the reader does not understand why it is being introduced during the description of Davenport's schools. Note how the paragraph returns to describing the number of schools in the town after this random fact. You need to find a way to gracefully introduce this interesting fact.
- She is mentioned at the end of the public schools section on it, being she was a principal and superintendent of the public schools. It then goes on to the private schools, which is a different "section" then the public schools. CTJF83 chat 22:40, 4 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- Ex: Davenport has a variety of neighborhoods dating back to the 1840s.[27] The city can be divided into five areas for neighborhoods: Downtown, central, east end, near north and northwest, and west end. The neighborhoods contain many architectural designs, including Victorian, Queen Anne, Tudor Revival, and others.[28] Many of the original neighborhoods were inhabited by German settlers.[27] The original city plot was around current day Ripley and 5th Streets, where Antoine LeClaire had built his house. Housing is among the most affordable in the nation. - The whole paragraph sounds repetitious since the word "neighborhood" appears at the beginning of almost every sentence. Also, the paragraph doesn't flow very well - each sentence is a contained unit rather than leading the reader into the next one. For example, we begin with history and then return to it later. The last two sentences have nothing to do with one another. This kind of problem contributes to the stilted nature of the writing - the reader is jerked back and forth between topics.
- Davenport is believed to be protected from tornadoes by a blessing from a "mass mound", similar to an altar. - This is sourced to an opinion piece. We need to find a better source, as opinion pieces are not as reliable as history books. Find a description of local history and use it to explain the mound story.
- This is a tourism website. I do not think this is a high-quality source, particularly to describe the geography of the area.
- This source does not support the following statement in the article: "Davenport is the headquarters for department store Von Maur, which has twenty-two stores in nine states."
- This source does not support the following statement in the article: "Together the facilities have 665 beds.[87] The hospitals employ more than 600 physicians and 5,000 staff members" - Notice that the website says "Our affiliates bring together more than 665 licensed beds, 600 physicians, 5,000 staff members and hundreds of volunteers to serve our community." - The "affiliates" constitute more than the hospitals, I think.
- This is not a high-quality source for the birthplace of Cody.
- The "References" need places of publication.
Because more research needs to be done and the "History" section needs to be entirely rewritten (not just copyedited), I would suggest withdrawing this article from FAC and working on these issues without the pressure of the candidacy. Awadewit (talk) 15:13, 4 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.