Taram21
| This user is a student editor in University_of_California,_Berkeley/African_Politics_(Spring_2020) . |
Welcome!
editHello, Taram21, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Shalor and I work with Wiki Education; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.
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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 17:43, 25 February 2020 (UTC)
Liliana Gutierrez's Peer Review
editI was unsure whether I just had to fill out the template or also leave you a message on your talk page, so I'm doing both!
The content added does a great job at helping to understand the reasons for the report, the process in which it was created, and the details of the report itself. You maintained the neutral tone, and the article additions are balanced and originate from good sources. Expanding its significance, and whether or not it caused other countries to attempt to segregate, or whether or not it can be cited as a part of the growing movement to end segregation, may add to this completeness. The overview of the different costs involved can be compared to the country's actual ability to get it done as well. Overall, the additions made to the article really add to the understanding of the report. I liked how you included the composition of the group assigned to do the report; I may look into the commission on my topic to see if I can add that kind of information to my article! Awesome Job! Liliana.Guti (talk) 00:57, 5 April 2020 (UTC)
Yesenia Pinon's Peer Review
editI will be reviewing User:Taram21 and her article on The Tomlinson Report. (Link : Tomlinson Report )
I see that you are improving the already existing article of the Tomlinson Report (South Africa). Great! Your lead has not yet been updated to reflect the new content added. I see that you have added the headings - Background and Findings - which provide the reader more information on the topic. Awesome! However, your lead should serve as a roadmap to the entire article. So make sure to include a brief description of the article's major sections. On the other hand, your Lead does include an introductory sentence that clearly describes your topic. As soon as I read it I understood what the article would be about. To summarize, you have a clear introductory sentence in your lead, however, you need to include a brief description of the article's major sections.
For content, what you have added is all relevant to the topic. I like the way you added the numbers for funding allocation. I think this provides the reader with the actual numbers on how much I would cost the government to invest in the reserves. The content that you have added seems up to date. All of the content that you have added sounds neutral because as the reader, I was not persuaded to favor one position over another. Great Job!
The new content you have added all seems to be backed up by reliable secondary sources. However, only one of your sources has a link. I don't know if its because of the type of source you utilized, but it would be useful to have a link to the sources so that readers can have access to the sources you utilized.
Overall, the content you have added is well written and is clear. I did not find any grammatical or spelling errors. I also believe that you content is well organized ins sections and each section has the corresponding information.
Great job Tara and good luck!
Best,
Yesenia23pinon (talk) 22:49, 6 April 2020 (UTC)