- ADVOCATE MARXIST-LENINIST ABSURDISM !!! ADVOCATE MAOIST DADA !!! SURREALISM IS MY PROLETARIAT OUTLOOK!!!
Greetings and salutations fellow Wikipedians! I am, we am, he is, she is, they are MaoMaoBowman! We have a particular interest in Palaeolithic and Mesolithic archaeology, brought on by our past life memories of life in this period! Just to clarify for all you little minions, this is not, nor has it ever been, Tobias "Toby" Bowman, with whom we are not affiliated. We apologize for giving this impression; the name "Bowman" was chosen by elective succession, in solidarity with the Shining Path.
Early Years edit
Born in East Berlin in 1954, my father (Ezekial Josephine III, 1934-1969) a repressed African-American homosexual, was devoutly devoted to the Marxist-Leninist government of the time but became dissolutioned following the revisionist ragabond Khruschev's denounciation of our dear departed Comrade Stalin, a man for whom he had a great deal of affection. Defecting to the West in the hope that proletariat revolution free from the underpinnings of Marxian revisionism would soon spread there, my father eventually lost faith in the prophecies of Marx, and after a punch-up with his friend Ralph Miliband over the theoretical underpinnings of Trotskyism, he became a full, paid-up member of that bastion of anarchist political thought, the British Conservative Party, shortly before his death from eel-goat disease in 1969.[1]
Political Agitation and Activity edit
Alone in this world, I became a Bryan Ferry impersonator, as a part of a Roxy Music tribute band that performed at various pubs in the Home Counties area, before travelling in my capacity as a reporter to Iran, where I met my lovely wife, who was an Islamist agitator in the Islamic Revolution of the late 1970s.[2]. In Iran, I engaged in an underground Maoist guerilla cell, which led to a notorious fistfight between myself and Mansoor Hekmat. Hekmat subsequently authored a number of polemical pamphlets, declaring my combat skills to be "as fluffy as Papa Leon's beard".[3]. I quickly fled the country with my wife, moving to the People's Republic of China.
My arrival in China coincided with the later years of the Cultural Revolution. Having been offered a post at the Chinese Academy of Sciences, I became involved in the University's Red Guard detachment, quickly rising to become a leader. I led a consistent campaign of Big Character Posters upon the walls of Peking, highlighting the revisionist character of the then-dominant "Theory of the Apple Cake". My work in this area led to my elevation to the leadership of the Peking committee of the Chinese Communist Party.
Upon the death of Chairman Mao, I entered into a state of grief, wandering the loess plateau in mourning. However, in my absence, Hua Guofeng had assumed leadership of the Communist Party. On a platform of "lollipop liberalism", I quickly saw the emergence of Chupa-Chups factories in coastal Shanghai. It was at this point that I returned to Peking, and led a significant protest outside Tiananmen Square for 100 days demanding Lollipop Nationalisation. In this I was joined by my dear compatriot, Danny. We were hounded out of China, and I was expelled from the Communist Party. I have never seen or heard of Danny again, although I have heard reports of his presence in Brixton. These are as yet unconfirmed.
Peruvian Journey edit
When leaving China, I took the train to Mongolia. Here I began to feud with my dear wife, who had sided with the Chinese revisionists on the Lollipop issue. A divorce ensued between us, largely over ideological differences, and I instead traveled to Peru, where I joined the Shining Path, fighting for the cause of New Democracy and where I swore on the name of Chairman Mao that one day a statue of him would loom over every city from Moscow to Marrakesh. After witnessing the death of my comrades at the hands of the Peruvian armed forces, I fled, once more, to Europe, where I set up home in Pratt's Bottom, a pretty little town that remains very dear to my heart. Earning money as a rather good reporter for both Fortean Times and the Daily Mail, I was employed as a village priest by the Church of England (despite having a marked preference for Methodism), but later began my studies at University College London, where I continue to agitate for proletariat revolution, founding revolutionary cells in every department within the grasp of my stubby little fingers.[4]
Personal life edit
For those of you with an interest in such things, I like kittens, I like puppies, I like strawberry jam. My sole political belief: Free Mumia Abu Jamal ! My sole political belief: Free Mumia Abu Jamal ! My sole political belief: Free Mumia Abu Jamal ! My sole political belief: Free Mumia Abu Jamal !
For the benefit of those of you who keep asking, my favourite book is The Unbearable Dullness of Mary. I also quite like the film adaptation, The Unbearable Soreness of Monty: The Dildo's Damage is Done.
I am also deeply interested in how Maoism can best be implemented in Britain, an industrialised first world country, which is a far cry from the agrarian backwaters where this particular strain of Marxist-Leninist thought developed. The answer: NATIONALISE LOLLIPOP PRODUCTION.
References edit
- ^ Roberts, Mark and Bowman, MaoMao. Fair-Maoist Eden: Proletariat Revolution in the Age of Boxgrove. New Era Books.
- ^ Bowman, MaoMao, 1997. Your Children are Dusty and So Am I. Caterpillar Enterprise Press. pages 8-9.
- ^ Hekmat, Mansoor. 1974. "The Apogee of Bowmanite Reaction". Self published.
- ^ Bowman, MaoMao, 2011. Pig Skins and Bunny Tails: Animals, S&M, and Me. Panting Panther Press. pages 667-899.
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