Template:Did you know nominations/Mount Jackson (Antarctica)

Round symbols for illustrating comments about the DYK nomination  The following is an archived discussion of Mount Jackson (Antarctica)'s DYK nomination. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page; such as this archived nomination's (talk) page, the nominated article's (talk) page, or the DYK WikiProject's (talk) page. Unless there is consensus to re-open the archived discussion here. No further edits should be made to this page See the talk page guidelines for (more) information.

The result was: promoted by Miyagawa (talk) 22:41, 3 February 2013 (UTC)

Mount Jackson (Antarctica)

edit

Mount Jackson (3184m) in Antarctica

5x expanded by Nvvchar (talk), Rosiestep (talk), Dr. Blofeld (talk). Nominated by Nvvchar (talk) at 07:15, 31 December 2012 (UTC)

  • Fails 5x expansion requirement. The quiz book seems a dubious source for the hook, but the other source is AGF.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 21:34, 1 January 2013 (UTC)
  • Note that in terms of length, this is only 99 prose characters short of the 5x expansion: it was 735, is now 3576, and needs to be 3675, which should be easily accomplished with an extra sentence or two. In addition to the issues raised by Sturmvogel, the QPQ still needs to be completed (which is already noted in the original submission form). BlueMoonset (talk) 18:40, 3 January 2013 (UTC)
  • QPQ done. Will address other issues shortly. Thanks.--Nvvchar. 00:17, 4 January 2013 (UTC)
  • References re-fixed and some more text added with reference. Objectionable book reference deleted. Hope it now meets requirements.--Nvvchar. 01:00, 4 January 2013 (UTC)
  • Unfortunately, you've introduced a new problem with your expansion as the prose needs serious work. The lede should summarize the article, but the 2nd paragraph essentially duplicates part of the main body. In general cites are not used in the lede except for extraordinary claims, which "highest mountain in Antarcticia" is, so that one is fine, but the others need to go. In addition the prose is not up to snuff as it reads very oddly. I haven't checked your other sources, but please be sure that you are using your own phrasing and not borrowing stuff from your sources. Furthermore, there's a lot of extraneous detail; I don't care who was on the support team unless they're notable in their own right, nor do I care that the climber was of Scottish descent. The whole sequence about his pioneering technique needs to be rewritten and streamlined. If incorporating these changes means that it doesn't meet the length requirement, don't worry about it. If need be I'll go through any online sources and point out pertinent details that can be added, if any exist, to help you meet the requirement.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 01:58, 4 January 2013 (UTC)
  • I've given it a c/e. --Rosiestep (talk) 00:47, 5 January 2013 (UTC)
  • Thanks for the c/e; it reads much better know. However, we're still about 1500 characters short of the requirement. So review your sources and add whatever you think is relevant. One small thing could be the date that the BAS was founded.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 02:44, 5 January 2013 (UTC)
  • I added about 450 characters. --Rosiestep (talk) 05:26, 5 January 2013 (UTC)
  • Any user is welcome to add text after examining the addition and deletion process that it has gone through in view of User talk:Sturmvogel 66's review. User:Sturmvogel 66 is most welcome to add. as we have not been able to locate any additional reliable references. If it does not get to 5x DYK acceptance, does not matter.--Nvvchar. 18:25, 5 January 2013 (UTC)
  • I've added some information from Robert Headlands A Chronologyof Antarctic Exploration. I might also include some more pictures, there are 100 free images available on Flickr: [1]. The aricle could benefit from a separate section on geology. 4ing (talk) 22:40, 6 January 2013 (UTC)
  • In addition to the above user's contribution (whose name is now included in the credit) I have been able to locate and some more text on Geology. Plese see if it satisfies 5x now. Thanks.--Nvvchar. 05:49, 17 January 2013 (UTC)
The cirque in the geology has been mentioned before. I really don't see a need to list all of the surrounding geographical locations and I believe that it needs another copyedit. Page numbers from source 11 are needed.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 08:06, 17 January 2013 (UTC)
Done.--Nvvchar. 03:16, 28 January 2013 (UTC)
I think the Geology section needs a much more stringent copyedit: there's a lot of repetition, puzzling facts (e.g., "two types of rock" but not saying what they are; "the massif" without saying which one or even wikilinking the term), and I don't understand why parenthetical comments are appropriate. Also, Sturmvogel 66's point about the excessive listing of "all of the surrounding geographical locations" has not been addressed. Perhaps Rosiestep could undertake this? Her earlier copyedit was quite successful. BlueMoonset (talk) 15:18, 28 January 2013 (UTC)
As requested, I've given the whole article a c/e, merged the Geology info into Geography, removed repetitious statements, removed parenthetical comments, and removed "all of the surrounding geographical locations". --Rosiestep (talk) 03:27, 29 January 2013 (UTC)
Thanks for your work on this article, Rosiestep. We're now at 3399 and only need around 300 more characters to reach 5x. There are a few issues that I'd like to see addressed that may be opportunities to add more relevant text.
  • There's nothing supporting the lede's assertion that the mountain was named for President Jackson.
  • There's a huge temporal gap in the first para of the main body where Jackson sponsors an expedition and then the British Antarctic Survey is mentioned, presumably established roughly a century later. Spell out when the BAS was established and possibly add that the mountain was not further explored or surveyed until the BAS established their depot. Do you know when that happened?
  • Standardize spelling as Mount, Mt is often used.
  • Are Mount Andrew Jackson and Mount Ernest Gruening the names of the individual peaks of the mountain? If so then say so. Text in main body talks about two peaks, but that's not spelled out anywhere.
  • What's an ice fall zone?

I standardized the spelling, but can't attend to any of the other newly-identified issues as it's late in my time zone. --Rosiestep (talk) 06:50, 29 January 2013 (UTC)

In all honesty this is more trouble than it's worth, just let it go..♦ Dr. ☠ Blofeld 10:17, 29 January 2013 (UTC)
I've had the trouble. Information from the Gazetteer of the British Antarctic Territory has been added to the history section, and I think all the comments/suggestions above have been addressed. - 4ing (talk) 10:35, 29 January 2013 (UTC)

Thanks, can somebody please affirm whether or not this is OK for DYK now?♦ Dr. ☠ Blofeld 17:50, 3 February 2013 (UTC)

Length is now up to snuff; the nom is now good to go.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 18:36, 3 February 2013 (UTC)