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Template:Did you know nominations/Kayrat Ryskulbekov

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The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Cwmhiraeth (talk) 17:41, 14 July 2018 (UTC)

DYK toolbox

Kayrat Ryskulbekov edit

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  • ... that Soviet dissident Qairat Rysqulbekov died in mysterious circumstances less than a year after his death sentence for his activities at the Jeltoqsan protest was reduced to twenty years in prison?

Sources:
Халық қаһарманына айналған Қайрат Рысқұлбековтың өлімінің сыры ашылмады by Alina Kohai (RFE/RL) and
Желтоқсан оқиғасына қатысқандардың сотынан түсірілген әйгілі суреттің тарихы by Talgat (RFE/RL)

  • Note: The submitted QPQ is not a full review. Yoninah (talk) 21:15, 26 May 2018 (UTC)
@Yoninah: This is one of my first DYKs, how exactly should I make it a full review?--PlanespotterA320 (talk) 22:23, 26 May 2018 (UTC)
  • The review should explicitly confirm that the five main DYK criteria have been met. If you like, there's a Reviewer's Template in the toolbox located on the nomination template. Since the review you started has been picked up by another editor, please choose another nomination to review. Thanks, Yoninah (talk) 22:28, 26 May 2018 (UTC)
  • Why did you just move the template page? This should not be done. A small adjustment is just made in the template format and all would be well. Yoninah (talk) 22:28, 26 May 2018 (UTC)
  • Because the title of the article had been moved (proper transliteration) after I made the nomination.--PlanespotterA320 (talk) 23:00, 26 May 2018 (UTC)
  • @PlanespotterA320: Right, that happens with other nominations, and we just fix the credit line. Now it's really a mess with Template:Template. Please stop. I've asked an administrator to clean this up. Yoninah (talk) 23:06, 26 May 2018 (UTC)
  • @PlanespotterA320: @Yoninah: Hopefully, this is all cleared up now. — Maile (talk) 23:23, 26 May 2018 (UTC)
  • Thanks, Maile66. I just tweaked the DYK credit line. We're good now. Yoninah (talk) 23:25, 26 May 2018 (UTC)
After all that, I note that you have only 2 DYK credits, so you really don't have to do a QPQ for this nomination. Ready for review. Yoninah (talk) 23:28, 26 May 2018 (UTC)
  • Here is a full review: 5x expansion verified. New enough, long enough, neutrally written, well referenced. As all sources are foreign-language, unable to check for close paraphrasing. The hook facts are in the article but are not cited inline. May I suggest that you break up the section "Arrest and death" into a few paragraphs for easier reading, and add the relevant cites at the end of each paragraph?
  • Regarding the hook, while the character count is 197 characters, the wording is roundabout and too many facts are packed into it. Also, nowhere in the article do you identify him as a "Soviet dissident". I was looking for a way to describe him in the very first sentence, as we do for biographies. Perhaps:

Qairat Nogaibaevich Rysqulbekov (Kazakh: Қайрат Ноғайбаевич Рысқулбеков) (13 March 1966 – 21 May 1988) was a Soviet student protester. He participated in the Jeltoqsan (Kazakh: Желтоқсан; English: December) riot of 1986 that took place in Almaty, Kazakhstan.

  • Perhaps the hook could be shortened to make it punchier, removing the part about him being sentenced for 20 years?
  • Regarding the image in the article, I'm not sure if this is public domain or not. The original image was taken of a museum exhibit. This is something you need to check out at Commons. Yoninah (talk) 19:28, 28 May 2018 (UTC)
  • The picture is from his official government union membership card, and identifications like those are PD. The picture of the card was taken in a museum by a Wikimedian and uploaded the image of the PD membership card under a free license, so its ok. Normally photos from museums aren't okay, but photos of PD documents are ok. So how about:
  • ALT1: ... that Soviet Jeltoqsan protester Qairat Rysqulbekov died in mysterious circumstances less than a year after his death sentence was revoked?--PlanespotterA320 (talk) 19:39, 28 May 2018 (UTC)
  • @PlanespotterA320: Thanks for the explanation about the image. The alt hook looks good. Could you do something about citing the hook facts inline, and improve the readability of the "Arrest and death" section, before this goes live? Thanks, Yoninah (talk) 19:44, 28 May 2018 (UTC)
  • Fixed both, citation added to article. Same sources as earlier used.--PlanespotterA320 (talk) 21:40, 28 May 2018 (UTC)
  • Thank you. I went ahead and added paragraph breaks to the "Arrest and death" section. I also inserted "citation needed" tags to show you where to place the citations. There is no need to run a string of five citations after every paragraph. One or two will do for each fact. Thank you, Yoninah (talk) 22:07, 28 May 2018 (UTC)
  • Terrific! Thanks for all your help. ALT1 good to go. Yoninah (talk) 22:57, 28 May 2018 (UTC)
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