Template:Did you know nominations/John W. Dwinelle

The following discussion is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by SL93 (talk) 07:43, 9 July 2013 (UTC)

John W. Dwinelle

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• ... that John W. Dwinelle (pictured) helped create the University of California, establish the right of black children to attend public school, and settle San Francisco's claim to much of the land within its borders?

Created/expanded by Gamaliel (talk). Self nominated at 23:44, 25 June 2013 (UTC).

• Reviewed : A Tragedy of Fashion

• I can't see the citation supporting the " legally set the borders of San Francisco".♦ Dr. ☠ Blofeld 10:17, 29 June 2013 (UTC)

• I've rewritten that part of the hook. Gamaliel (talk) 19:08, 8 July 2013 (UTC)

• Revised hook is unfortunately too long at 212 characters (201 omitting "pictured"), with 200 the absolute maximum (and shorter very desirable). It's better if you propose ALT hooks rather than editing the original hook, so comments make sense in retrospect. Thanks! BlueMoonset (talk) 20:19, 8 July 2013 (UTC)

This should knock it down to just under 200 (with the pictured). I'm out of ideas without eliminating one of the three parts of the sentence. Gamaliel (talk) 21:03, 8 July 2013 (UTC)

• ALT1: ... that John W. Dwinelle (pictured) helped establish the University of California, the right of black children to attend public school, and San Francisco's claim to much of the land within its borders?

• Full review needed, using ALT1 as hook (struck earlier, overlong hook). BlueMoonset (talk) 03:12, 9 July 2013 (UTC)

• All three facts in hook are cited and online. (Tweaked one link to send to correct page) Long enough, new enough etc. No copyvio, good to go! -- Hillbillyholiday ^talk 05:49, 9 July 2013 (UTC)