Template:Did you know nominations/Cabbage (video game)

The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: rejected by BlueMoonset (talk) 00:08, 27 July 2015 (UTC)
No edits to article in six weeks, and no edits by nominator in three; closing due to issues noted in review.

Cabbage (video game) edit

(

)

~~... that three of the greatest video game developers at Nintendo were once working on Cabbage?~~

Comment: This is my first suggestion here - what do you think?

Created by Maplestrip (talk). Self-nominated at 17:50, 26 May 2015 (UTC).

Don't see the word greatest in the article, and anyway that's a word best reserved for people long dead with substantial historical agreement. EEng (talk) 05:47, 30 May 2015 (UTC)

Hmm, fair enough. Looking through the sources, Kotaku refers to them as "three of the smartest and most interesting devs of the era" and 1up called them "three of Nintendo's biggest talents." I could incorporate something along these lines in the article. How does "...that three of the most talented video game developers at..." sound? Also to note is Nintendo Life referred to them as "legendary," though I don't think that would work. ~Mable (chat) 08:40, 30 May 2015 (UTC)

I'd go with "most talented" (and use quote marks in the hook). EEng (talk) 13:12, 30 May 2015 (UTC)

~~... that three of the "most talented" video game developers at Nintendo were once working on Cabbage?~~

Comment: I edited the article a bit so it says "Produced by a team of Nintendo's "biggest talents,"[1] consisting of ..." Thoughts? ~Mable (chat) 13:58, 30 May 2015 (UTC)

Good. EEng (talk) 15:40, 30 May 2015 (UTC)

ALT1: ... that three of Nintendo's best known video game developers once worked on Cabbage?

New (26th), long enough, neutral, some close paraphrasing issues found via spot check (please check other sources as well), no QPQ necessary for nom's first hook. ALT1 checks out in the reference, but isn't directedly cited in the article (see 3b). (Lede should be a summary of the prose, where every lede fact should be cited.) A better hook might be one that names the three devs and Iwata by name (last name). Also Unseen64 and GoNintendo reports are not reliable sources and should be replaced. Please ping me if I don't respond. – czar 17:24, 13 June 2015 (UTC)

I do think the new alt is less eye-grabbing, but it's alright if that's the best way to do it. Using your idea, another possible alt would be the following. However, this would be a lot less interesting for anyone who doesn't have knowledge of the field. ~Mable (chat) 21:11, 13 June 2015 (UTC)

ALT2: ... that Shigesato Itoi, Tsunekazu Ishihara and Shigeru Miyamoto were once working on Cabbage?

The thing with close paraphrasing is not to just change a few words from the sentence but to make sure each sentence is its own unique thought, apart from the source. ALT2 would be better phrased as Mario's creator, etc. if those facts are sourced in the article. Right now that line remains unsourced so both ALT1/ALT2 can't run. – czar 23:36, 13 June 2015 (UTC)

I am not entirely sure what it is that isn't sourced here, though? I'm a bit confused, as 1Up literally says: "...Yet was remarkable for bringing together three of Nintendo's biggest talents: Shigeru Miyamoto, Pokemon director Tsunekazu Ishihara, and Earthbound/Mother creator (and notable author) Shigesato Itoi" and similar things are said in the other sources. What is it that isn't sourced? ~Mable (chat) 08:13, 14 June 2015 (UTC)

See 3b—the line of the article that contains the hook's fact needs to have an immediate reference. Also every paragraph needs to have sources for DYK. Since the lede is asserting new information that isn't in the rest of the text, its facts too need to cite a source. – czar 04:57, 29 June 2015 (UTC)

Original 3b citation issues remain – czar 15:37, 15 July 2015 (UTC)
No edits of any sort to this article since June 13. If the nominator has abandoned this nomination (and 6 weeks of inactivity seems to be evidence of that) then perhaps it's time to move on to other nominations. - Dravecky (talk) 16:58, 24 July 2015 (UTC)