- The following discussion is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.
The result was: promoted by Allen3 talk 21:31, 8 July 2013 (UTC)
| DYK toolbox |
|---|
Bluthochzeit edit
... that Bluthochzeit (Blood Wedding), Wolfgang Fortner's opera after García Lorca's play, premiered in 1957 at the Cologne Opera (pictured)?
- Reviewed: Grevillea mucronulata
Created by Voceditenore (talk), Gerda Arendt (talk). Nominated by Gerda Arendt (talk) at 22:07, 3 July 2013 (UTC).
PumpkinSky talk 00:36, 5 July 2013 (UTC)
I'm not entirely sure what was reviewed here, but there are issues. First, the hook's "after" is unclear in this context; I would advise "based on". (You might also want to specify in the hook this is a German opera based on a Spanish play, which adds to the interest for those who don't recognize García Lorca or Fortner.) Second, the final paragraph of the Composition paragraph is unclear: did Fortner merge the two scores into a third opera score that he was working on, or did he combine the two scores into a completely new work based on a different libretto from another García Lorca work? There's at least one word missing, and perhaps several, in the phrase before the first comma. BlueMoonset (talk) 05:10, 5 July 2013 (UTC)
- ALT1: ... that Bluthochzeit (Blood Wedding), Wolfgang Fortner's opera based on García Lorca's play Bodas de sangre, premiered in 1957 at the Cologne Opera (pictured)?
- I didn't write the "merging" paragraph, will ask Voceditenore, --Gerda Arendt (talk) 08:03, 5 July 2013 (UTC)
- I've re-written the bit about the merging of the scores to make it clearer (I hope). Let me know if it is still not understandable. Voceditenore (talk) 08:41, 5 July 2013 (UTC)
- Much better, thanks; we're almost there. I made a few copyedits in the Performance section. Article has 2207 prose characters per DYKcheck, was five-days old when nominated and thus new enough, ALT1 hook is in the article; however, some parts of it are not sourced in the article. In particular, that it was based on the García Lorca play Bodas de sangre is not cited anywhere (the name of the play should really be given in the Composition section; anything in the intro ought to be reflected somewhere in the body of the article). The rest of the article appears adequately sourced, and I didn't notice any close paraphrasing issues in a spot check. Once the hook sourcing issue is set (be sure the source is at the end of whatever sentence has the information), this will be ready for approval. Thanks! BlueMoonset (talk) 23:53, 7 July 2013 (UTC)
- I've re-written the bit about the merging of the scores to make it clearer (I hope). Let me know if it is still not understandable. Voceditenore (talk) 08:41, 5 July 2013 (UTC)
- Belated question: Should the "Recordings" section have some sort of sourcing? And what does "recorded 1" mean in the first entry? BlueMoonset (talk) 01:07, 8 July 2013 (UTC)
- I didn't write the material about the background to Fortner deciding to compose the opera, but I agree that it wasn't very clear, and it just assumed the reader would know the play's name from the lede. I have re-written to clarify and added an inline cite directly referencing the fact that Fortner wrote the libretto based on Beck's translation of the play. I have also found the link to the pdf with Giselher Klebe's introduction to the opera and added it to that citation. Re the recordings, I have added an inline cite for both of these, although frankly I think this is overkill. Normally, the catalog numbers are sufficient. The recording information is documented on the CD/DVD itself. The "1" refers to the fact that it was recorded on 1 and 6 July 1957. I have replaced the comma between 1 and 6 with "and". Is that less confusing?. Voceditenore (talk) 05:52, 8 July 2013 (UTC)
- Thank you for all this before I even woke up to help! --Gerda Arendt (talk) 06:02, 8 July 2013 (UTC)
- Thanks, Voceditenore. Because I thought there needed to be a source that gave Lorca's original title (in Spanish) for the work, I added a citation to the other Schott source (used for dodecaphony) after that first sentence, and also included the Klebe there because it sources the 1957 premiere info. You're probably right about the recording sources, but I wasn't sure and thought I'd inquire: if there was a single source that included all the recordings, it could have headed the section. I do appreciate the change to the recording dates (which I had misinterpreted): "1 and 6" is very clear. One thing you might want to do at some point—it isn't required at this time—is to clarify that Fortner wrote the incidental music Stroux requested, and subsequently wrote the opera. BlueMoonset (talk) 16:03, 8 July 2013 (UTC)
- ALT1 hook is fully sourced for all elements, which are also in the article. The recordings are also sourced, which is a bonus. The rest was already in order per my previous comments. Thank you very much! BlueMoonset (talk) 16:03, 8 July 2013 (UTC)