Template:Did you know nominations/All of the Dead Girls

The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by TJMSmith (talk) 01:01, 24 March 2021 (UTC)

All of the Dead Girls

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... that the music video for Dreamcar's "All of the Dead Girls" was filmed during a live performance of the song? Source: OC Weekly: "Prior to playing 'All of the Dead Girls,' Havok announced the performance would be filmed for the band's second music video."
- ALT1:... that Dreamcar's "All of the Dead Girls" was inspired from a comment made by American actor Josh Richman? Source: Billboard: "When I started writing 'All of the Dead Girls', it came from the concept of the lyric 'dead girls,' which was informed by my dear friend Josh Richman whom I lived with for many years."

Reviewed: Template:Did you know nominations/KFXD-TV

Created by Carbrera (talk). Self-nominated at 19:36, 9 March 2021 (UTC).

General: Article is new enough and long enough
New enough: Long enough:

Policy: Article is sourced, neutral, and free of copyright problems
Adequate sourcing: Neutral: Free of copyright violations, plagiarism, and close paraphrasing:

Hook eligibility:

Cited: - I'm confused by ALT0: the article just says that the performance recording was planned to be the music video, not that it was. Additionally, I'm not able to find any music video released for the song online. What happened in the end?
As for ALT1, the hook says inspired by a lyric penned by American actor Josh Richman but the article and source beats around the bush a bit more: it came from the concept of the lyric “dead girls,” which was informed by ... Josh Richman ... It wasn’t a direct quote, but it was a comment about me. So I think "lyric penned by" Richman is not strictly true.
Interesting: - Pending rewording for factual accuracy, or another hook suggestion.

QPQ: Done.

Overall: [[Music journalism|Music critics]] is an overlink that can be removed. There are two "quotes from nowhere": The addition of keyboards provided "layering [of] majestic swaths of synths" and which Havok repeatedly "begs". I'd like these to be attributed to their source (e.g. "according to X", "X said that") in prose. — Bilorv (talk) 15:51, 21 March 2021 (UTC)

Bilorv – thank you for reviewing both of my DYK nominations. I have adjusted the article to your comments accordingly and (hopefully) improved ALT1. Could you let me know what you think now? Thanks again, Carbrera (talk) 15:25, 22 March 2021 (UTC).

ALT1 approved with the new wording. Other comments I made have all been addressed. Thanks! — Bilorv (talk) 04:19, 23 March 2021 (UTC)