Talk:Wizards Only, Fools/GA1

Latest comment: 7 years ago by Aoba47 in topic GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.


GA Review

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Reviewer: Aoba47 (talk · contribs) 15:04, 27 March 2017 (UTC)Reply

Comments
  • In the second sentence of the lead, I am not sure you need to use the introductory phrase "series creator" in front of Pendleton Ward as it is the only name with a introductory phrase and breaks up the flow of the sentence.
  • Please identify Starchy as he does not have a wikilink, and an unfamiliar reader may not understand who this character is. Same applies for Abracadaniel.
How does "(a sentient malt ball..." and "(a meek and somewhat feeble-powered wizard with whom the three are familiar...)" work?--Gen. Quon (Talk) 16:35, 27 March 2017 (UTC)Reply
  • I would use stronger language than "thinking fast" as it sounds somewhat informal to me.
  • I rewrote that whole section to be a bit stronger.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 16:35, 27 March 2017 (UTC)Reply
  • I am not sure you need both the quote box and the image in the "Production" section as it makes the text look constrained in certain views. I would recommend removing the image and keeping the quote box as I feel that it adds more to the article than the image.
  • You only have one critical review in the "Reception" section, and if possible, it would be beneficial to see if there are other reviews to add to make this section more comprehensive. If there are no other reviews available, then it is fine as it currently stands.
  • Unfortunately, I don't know if another exists. Aside from the A.V. Club article, the only other source that really dissects the episode is the Karavitis chapter, but that's already used in the "Themes" section.
Final comments.
  • Wonderful work as always. Once my comments are addressed, I will pass this. Aoba47 (talk) 15:40, 27 March 2017 (UTC)Reply
  • Thank you for your prompt responses. I will  Pass this. Aoba47 (talk) 16:58, 27 March 2017 (UTC)Reply
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.