Talk:Typhoon Nelson (1982)
Latest comment: 9 years ago by Yellow Evan in topic GA Review
Typhoon Nelson (1982) has been listed as one of the Natural sciences good articles under the good article criteria. If you can improve it further, please do so. If it no longer meets these criteria, you can reassess it. Review: June 25, 2014. (Reviewed version). |
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- This review is transcluded from Talk:Typhoon Nelson (1982)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Hurricanehink (talk · contribs) 15:06, 25 June 2014 (UTC)
- "Nelson originated from a tropical disturbance southeast of Guam towards the end of March. " - March 19 isn't toward the end of March
- "Although the system was initially poorly organized, the system "
- Why not mention peak winds in lede?
- "eight of which" - use "whom" when it's about people
- "Ten hours after the TCFA" - which you never mention
- "Early on March 19, the JMA classified the system as Tropical Storm Nelson." - at that time, the JTWC was responsible for naming. Maybe just say "classified the system as a tropical storm."?
- "more conductive conditions" - did you mean "conducive"?
- " and by that afternoon" - you never mention a date in that paragraph
- "both the JTWC and JMA increased the intensity to 195 km/h (120 mph)" - not according to the infobox
- "the JTWC indicated that Nelson strengthen slightly on March 25, and attained winds of 185 km/h (115 mph)" - I think you have these wind speeds messed up, as 195 is obviously bigger than 185 :P
- "Thereafter" - is the second sentence in a row having that word (The other being "Shortly thereafter"). Try changing it up
- "the JMA had lowered the winds of 100 mph (160 km/h)." - I think you mean "to", not "of". And why mph first?
- "Considered a "pre-season" storm by newspapers, Mamie required storm warnings for parts of the nation, which were broadcast via radio." - this article is about Nelson
- "A total of 1,261 dwellings were leveled,[12] including 703 houses were destroyed" - you don't need the 2nd "were" if you have "including"
- "all but 45 of the town's 600 houses were demolished" - you need "and" here
- "A total of 165,462 persons evacuated to shelters;[13] approximately 83,000 of which were homeless." - change semicolon to comma, and, once again, use "whom" for people. Does this mean they were homeless when they evacuated, or they became homeless due to the storm?
- "Widespread power outages occurred." - pretty short sentence
- "Bridges were washed away." - so is this
- "Eight of the casualties were due to drownings" - I'm sure more were from drowning, if there were over 50 deaths
- I think there might be an issue with the damage total. Ref 6 suggests 147 million in pesos, right? Well, you should fix the link to Philippines Measuring Worth to 1982, as it says 8.54 pesos per US dollar, which would be $17.2 million. That's far less than what you said.
All in all, the article is decent, just a little rough around the edges. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 15:06, 25 June 2014 (UTC)