Talk:The Silent Cartographer/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: IceWelder (talk · contribs) 20:34, 2 November 2020 (UTC)Reply

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/Fail:

Unlink "video game" for MOS:SEAOFBLUE.
I don't think you need to mention or cite PC Gamer up here. The body serves this just fine.
"... of the development of Halo itself, ..." - "itself" is redundant here.

"... when developers at Bungie moved to Seattle after Microsoft ..." - It appears that Bungie as a whole was moved there, not just individuals.
Also. wiki-link Microsoft.
Instead of "an RTS", write out "a real-time strategy game", as this is the first mention of the genre.
"wide open spaces" should "wide-open spaces" or "wide, open spaces".
Remove the comma in "drive, led".
"... as a test map to test aspects ..." - "test" is duplicated here; I think you can just leave out "as a test map".
In the quote, use emdash (—), as seen in the source, instead of the current hyphen.

Kotaku, PC Gamer, etc. should be italicized.
There is an error in Burford's long quote, it should be "constant sense that you're making progress as you play through the level".
There is an error in Dale's long quote, it should be "offering the kind of freeform, tactical warfare that fans could only have dreamed about at the time".
Move the full-stop (and in one case, comma) after the quote per MOS:LQ. This applies to all cases in this section except for that ending in "That's peak Halo for me, really.".
Restore the Oxford comma in Whittaker's quote at "... sections and a blend of ...".
Is there a reason Andy Kelly is referred to as "Andy K."?
In the last sentence, remove the quotation marks from the level name to align it with the rest of the article.

When talking about the film, link to the respective section on the Halo franchise article.
IGN should be italicized.
Should "spiritual successor" be in quotes? Either way, consider wiki-linking it.
In the last sentence, "the level" is ambiguous, since the preceding paragraph mentioned three different levels.

Add Rich Stanton as the author for ref #4.
For ref #14, include the page number (44).
A pet peeve of mine: Please order the categories alphabetically.
The level is mentioned on Halo: Combat Evolved. Consider linking it from there.

@Zxcvbnm: Nice work so far. I left notes for improvement above and am putting the review On hold for now. Regards, IceWelder [✉] 20:34, 2 November 2020 (UTC)Reply

@IceWelder: Thanks for taking it up so fast, I have made tweaks to the article that should address all of the concerns raised. I don't have any particular arguments with any of them, they were all errors I made whether unknowingly or accidentally._{ZXCVBNM (TALK)} 21:05, 2 November 2020 (UTC)Reply

@Zxcvbnm: Good job. I did a last few cosmetic fixes and archived the sources (then redid the fixed because IABot reverted my changes). Passed. Regards, IceWelder [✉] 21:35, 2 November 2020 (UTC)Reply

@IceWelder: Thanks so much for the quick, thorough review. That is excellent news._{ZXCVBNM (TALK)} 23:00, 2 November 2020 (UTC)Reply