Wikipedia

Talk:The 1989 World Tour/GA1

< Talk:The 1989 World Tour
Latest comment: 3 years ago by Kyle Peake in topic GA Review

GA Review

edit
Latest comment: 3 years ago40 comments2 people in discussion
GA toolbox
Reviewing

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 17:27, 2 January 2021 (UTC)Reply


Good Article review progress box
Criteria: 1a. prose ( ) 1b. MoS ( ) 2a. ref layout ( ) 2b. cites WP:RS ( ) 2c. no WP:OR ( ) 2d. no WP:CV ( )
3a. broadness ( ) 3b. focus ( ) 4. neutral ( ) 5. stable ( ) 6a. free or tagged images ( ) 6b. pics relevant ( )
Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked   are unassessed

My third review for you; like in previous ones, do not feel afraid to tell me if you disagree with any of the suggested changes especially since I have a lack of proper experience in reviewing tour articles; I have solely done so once. --K. Peake 17:27, 2 January 2021 (UTC)Reply

Infobox and lead

edit
  • Infobox looks good apart from one query; do you really need to put US$250.7 million since not only is Swift an American singer but US have the most well known dollar in the world?
  • HĐ It is not really offending anyone here but there are areas as cited by me below where you have written US$ on consecutive occasions, which need editing to stop heavy repetition. --K. Peake 08:12, 5 January 2021 (UTC)Reply
  • "in November and December 2014." → "in November and December of 2014."
  • "was made in July 2015." → "was made the following month."
  • "and three months of rehearsals." → "and three months to rehearse." since basically saying it took three months of rehearsals doesn't really go well
  • "Swift was involved in the tour's" → "Swift was involved in the 1989 World Tour's" because you have not mentioned the tour's name in this para at all
  • Shouldn't the beginning and ending info for the tour come before the set list?
  • "a more synth-oriented production." → "a more synth-oriented production to accompany the album's songs." or something similar, as that is the proper reason
  • Target Tokyo, Japan to Tokyo
  • "running 85 shows." → "spanning 85 shows."
  • "onstage with her including" → "onstage with her, including"
  • Again, is the US$250.7 million really required identification?
  • Target pop to Pop music
  • "having been known" → "having previously been known"
  • "at the November 28, 2015 show" → "at the tour's November 28, 2015 show"
  • Target Sydney, Australia to Sydney

Background and development

edit
  • Are you sure Michigan needs to be wikilinked on the img text or should Detroit, Michigan just be targeted to Detroit?
  • "her fifth studio album, 1989, on" → "her fifth studio album 1989 on"
  • "The synth-pop album was" → "The synth-pop release was" to avoid overusing the term "album"
  • "one million copies within first week of release" → "one million copies within its first week of release"
  • "via her social media accounts," → "via her Twitter account," with the wikilink
  • "in support of her fifth studio album, 1989." → "in support of 1989."
  • "fans from November 14." → "fans on November 14." since "on" is definitely more appropriate for the description and it is not too close to the previous usage
  • "she wanted the songs to" → "she wanted them to"
  • "of 1989 while keeping" → "of the album while keeping"
  • "The following month in an interview" → "In December 2014, during an interview"
  • 1989 should be italicised
  • "across the United States," → "across the US,"
  • "Australia and New Zealand." → "Australia, and New Zealand."
  • Target Melbourne, Australia to Melbourne
  • "wrap up the tour on" → "wrap up the 1989 World Tour on" because you have not mentioned the name of the tour in this para
  • "and ten days of" → "and 10 days of" per MOS:NUM
  • "It traveled with" → "Swift traveled for it with" since a tour itself does not "travel"
  • "between 6 and 8 hours" → "between six and eight hours"
  • "throughout the show," → "throughout each show,"
  • Add touring year of the Reputation Stadium Tour in brackets

Concert synopsis

edit
  • Target choreography to Choreography (dance) on the img text
  • "The shows featured a" → "The shows on the 1989 World Tour featured a"
  • "The concert began..." shouldn't you mention this was the Miami concert, as the wording is currently unspecific despite 14's sourcing?
  • "black-and-white projections of skyscrapers," → "black-and-white projections of street scenes," since that is what 14 says; no mention of skyscrapers
  • "to sing "Welcome to New York", and subsequently" → "to sing the track, and subsequently perform"
  • Target shadowboxes to Shadow box
  • "where Swift stroke a" → "where Swift stroked a"
  • "the shirtless male dancers performed" → "the shirtless male dancers delivered" or something similar, as "performed" is being overused elsewise
  • Target choreography to Choreography (dance)
  • Target polka-dot to Polka dot
  • "performed by the male dancers" → "that was performed by the male dancers"
  • "was accompanied by a" → "were accompanied by a"
  • "doors, as she sang" → "doors as she sang," since otherwise, it reads as if that part of the synopsis was because of her singing those lyrics
  • "that Swift performed" → "that she performed"
  • It is not sourced that she excluded the song from her set list for any shows other than the one mentioned in the citation
  • "Swift shared with her audiences about..." this is not backed up by the source and you are missing a word in-between "audiences" and "about" that would be appropriate; maybe "stories", depending on what she said?
  • "For the performance of" → "For the performance of a rendition of"
  • "After that, Swift emerged" → "Afterwards, Swift emerged"
  • "on a sparkling piano." → "on a grand piano." with the wikilink per MOS:LINK2SECT, plus the latter wording is encyclopaedic unlike the former
  • Wikilink paper planes
  • "above the crowd, as fireworks" → "above the crowd as fireworks"
  • [16][15] should be put in numerical order

Adjustments and special guests

edit
  • Imgs look good
  • "All Too Well"[36] and "Red" → ""All Too Well",[36] and "Red""
  • "(from 2010's Speak Now)" → "(from Speak Now)" because you have mentioned the year of the album as recent as the previous sentence
  • "that attracted media attention" → "that attracted attention" since the source does not say the attention was media and just because Taste of Country is media, does not mean the attention was by them having a published a story about it
  • "Beats 1 Radio that, since" → "Beats 1 Radio that since" with the target
  • "an element of surprise." → "an element of surprise:"
  • "in July 2015, when models" → "in July 2015, during which models"
  • Are you sure "whim" is an encyclopaedic term?
  • Wikilink counterculture
  • "The BBC observed that" → "Nick Levine from the BBC observed that"
  • "it gave the impression" → "their appearances gave the impression"
  • "her global fame continued to expand" – this part is not sourced since the citation says, "Despite being a global phenomenon, Taylor Swift has always struggled to find her place".
  • "Her shifting aesthetic" → ""Her shifting aesthetic"

Critical reception

edit
  • "received positive reviews. Praise centered" → "was met with positive reviews from critics; praise centered"
  • "Jon Caramanica writing for The New York Times" → "Jon Caramanica, writing for The New York Times,"
  • "and felt that Swift was" → "and felt that she was"
  • "much-praised previous tour Red," → "much-praised previous world tour the Red Tour (2013-14)," with the wikilink (the tour itself should be named here, rather than repeating the name of the album it was for)
  • "complemented to the songs:" → "complemented the songs:"
  • "she alone could carry the show" → "she alone could have carried the show"
  • "gave the tour a" → "gave the show a"
  • "they had ever seen," → "he had ever seen,"
  • "Also reviewing the Sydney show," → "In a review of the same show," to not overstate the show being in Sydney
  • "five-over-five-stars score, asserting that it" → "five-out-of-five-stars score, asserting the show"

Commercial reception

edit

Ticket sales

edit
  • Target 1989 to 1989 (Taylor Swift album) on the img text
  • "Pre-sales for European shows started on November 4," → "Pre-sales for European shows of the 1989 World Tour started on November 4, 2014,"
  • "First round of pre-sales on" → "The first round of pre-sales for"
  • "started from December 13, 2014;" → "started from the following day;" to avoid overusing the month and year
  • "sixth-most-searched artist" → "sixth most-searched artist" so dashes are not used too much
  • None of the second para's first sentence is backed up by 51.
  • All of the second sentence is backed up apart from the Houston part, as "routing changes" are mentioned but not what they were; fix this
  • "was sold out within minutes," → "sold out within minutes,"
  • 30,000 tickets claim is not backed up
  • "first show (December 11, 2015) in Melbourne," → "first show on December 11, 2015 in Melbourne,"
  • "Soon after, Swift" → "Soon afterward, Swift"
  • "In the United States, the average" → "In the US, the average"
  • "where the average ticket price was" → "where the average price was" to avoid overstating "ticket price" in this sentence
  • "was the most expensive" → "was the tour's most expensive" because otherwise it is unclear if it was the most expensive date in Europe or on the tour
  • The penultimate sentence of this section and the one directly before it are not backed up by the source
  • "from Swift's previous world tour, the Red Tour (2012-13)." → "from the Red Tour." since the tour will have already been introduced by this point once you edit critical reception
  •   Done all

Boxscore

edit
  • Add a comma after the brackets because this grammar should be here for leading into "which"
  • "a total of US$16.8 million" → "a total of $16.8 million" because this is obviously the type of dollar in question due to it being the most recently referenced
  • "earning $15.2 million with" → "earning $15.2 million, with"
  • "the tour had grossed US$86.2 million," → "the 1989 World Tour had grossed $86.2 million,"
  • "in the North America with" → "in North America, with"
  • "had grossed over US$130 million," → "had grossed over $130 million,"
  • "surpassed Swift's Red Tour as her" → "surpassed the Red Tour as Swift's"
  • "over US$173 million." → "over $173 million."
  • "sixth time top top the chart" → "sixth time atop the chart"
  • "more than US$217 million" → "more than $217 million"
  • The 71 shows part and the name of One Direction's tour are not sourced
  • Pop should not be capitalised mid-sentence
  • The Top 25 Boxscores info is not properly sourced
  • You have written that the two MetLife Stadium shows, and those in Santa Clara, Foxborough, Philadelphia, Chicago, Tokyo, and Washington, D.C. ranked on the top 25 Boxscores list, but this info is not sourced anywhere. --K. Peake 07:12, 6 January 2021 (UTC)Reply
  • "Six other shows on this list" → "Six other shows on the list"
  • "over US$250 million and" → "over $250 million and"
  • Why is the Top 100 list after the Top 20 when it is number one on both?
  • "over US$199.4 million in" → "over $199.4 million in"
  • "on this list were" → "on the list were"
  • "Shanghai and Brisbane." → "Shanghai, and Brisbane."
  • "also had 24 position on" → "also attained the position of number 24 on"
  • "was two shows in" → "being two shows in"

Concert film

edit
  • I know redirects don't need to be fixed, but shouldn't you target ANZ Stadium to Stadium Australia just for consistency?
  • "The film was supported" → "The tour was supported"
  • Wikilink concert film
  • Remove wikilink on Apple Music
  • "it was filmed at" → "the film was shot at"
  • "where she performed in" → "where Swift performed in"
  • "were informed that the show" → "were informed that it"
  • Not all of the info in the second para prior to 76 is backed up by the source; fix this
  • Trim the list of celebs since it is currently a tedious supermarket list
  • "Scenes from the film were" → "Scenes from The 1989 World Tour - Live were"
  • Wikilink music video
  • Target single to Single (music)
  • The last sentence of the para has no reference to even attempt to back it up currently

Set list

edit
  • Good

Shows

edit
  • Good

Notes

edit
  • potentially making the → possibly making the (on both notes mentioning the Houston Astros)

Personnel

edit
  • Wikilink and target all of the celebrities where possible

See also

edit
  • Good

References

edit
edit
  • Good

Final comments and verdict

edit
  • @Kyle Peake: Thank you so much for taking up this review, which I was worried if anyone would bother looking into it lol... There would be probably a two-day delay because of my irl matters, so please bare with me. HĐ (talk) 02:47, 4 January 2021 (UTC)Reply
Add topic
Retrieved from "https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Talk:The_1989_World_Tour/GA1&oldid=998628179"