Talk:Sweet Creature/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Aoba47 (talk · contribs) 02:53, 17 August 2021 (UTC)

Picking this up for a review if that is okay with you. Aoba47 (talk) 02:53, 17 August 2021 (UTC)

Aoba47, thank you for taking this up. Didn't think someone would be interested in reviewing this so early after I nominated it only yesterday, and still had some cleaning up to do. I'll try to address your comments now. :) Viridian Bovary (talk) 04:42, 17 August 2021 (UTC)

• Anytime! I do enjoy reading articles about songs, especially ones that were not released as singles (i.e. promotional singles and album tracks). This probably makes zero sense, but I just think it is nice to see a spotlight on these types of songs. Feel free to take as much time as you need. Aoba47 (talk) 04:51, 17 August 2021 (UTC)

Lead and infobox

• This sentence, A folk ballad, the lyrics are about the confusion and potency of young love., is not grammatically correct. The beginning part (A folk ballad) is connected and thus describing the next part (the lyrics) so this sentence is describing the lyrics as a folk ballad, which I doubt is the intention.

• revised accordingly. Please see if this reads better.

Background

• For this part, he signed a recording contract with Columbia Records as a solo artist the same year, I would remove "the same year" as I think it is already clear from context and something about its inclusion reads more awkwardly to me than necessary.

• agreed, removed now.

• I would expand on this sentence, In September 2016, Styles appeared on the cover of Another Man, which led to media speculation about a new album on the horizon., to clarify how a magazine feature led to this speculation.

• I have removed this sentence entirely and added another meaningful sentence towards the beginning of the para, which hopefully explains.

• Remove the CEO link as a majority of readers are familiar with the concept.

• removed

• I have a comment about this part, the CEO of Columbia. Be consistent with either using Columbia Records in full or cutting it down to Columbia. The article mostly uses the full title from what I am seeing so far.

• thanks for noticing, added Records.

• I would not start off two sentences in a row with "In X date" as it can make the prose read too much like a list, which makes it less engaging.

• I think this has been taken care of now.

• For this sentence, Styles enlisted producers Jeff Bhasker, Alex Salibian, Tyler Johnson, and Kid Harpoon to work on the album., I do not think the last part (i.e. "to work on the album") is necessary. It is already clear from context and it reads rather repetitively given the earlier sentence starting with "For the album".

• you're right, I've removed it now.

• From my personal experience, I have generally put the information about the song's recording process into a background section rather than putting into a music and lyrics section. I am not saying the current structure is wrong, but I am curious on the choice for this? The "Background" section is very short in its current version at least.

• Taken your advice and moved the recording process inside the background section, and hence retaining the image here.

• If you are going to keep the current structure, I would move the image (File:Kid Harpoon Glasto07.jpg) to the "Music and lyrics" section as the caption is about the writing and production, which are both covered there. Also, the image currently cuts somewhat awkwardly between sections and moving it down would mostly avoid that.

• see my comment above.

Music and lyrics

• I have a comment about this part, a folk acoustic ballad. I could be wrong, but I have often seen the "acoustic" descriptor go before the genre, and it just reads better that way for whatever reason.

• I was contemplating about this exact thing, thanks for pointing out. I've revised it accordingly.

• Link Zach Sang.

• done

• I have been told that Musicnotes.com is not a reliable source anymore. I know that it was something used in the past, and it was even considered high-quality enough for inclusion in featured articles, but I have seen debates over how to use sheet music and I have seen suggestions to avoid using it. It is a shame, but I would remove this citation.

• removed reluctantly

• I have a comment on this part: In an interview with radio host Zach Sang in May 2017, Styles said that "Sweet Creature" was "more so than one story, it's very much a piece of me that I haven't shared or talked about before". It is a nice quote, but I am not really sure what he means by this and without further context or explanation, it sounds like mostly empty, promotional speak (like how singers always describe their new music as their best or their most "personal"). Could elaborate further on this?

• added a bit to this sentence, please let me know if this reads better

• I do not think this sentence, Compared to a lullaby by Entertainment weekly's Leah Greenblatt, the lyrics discuss the confusion and potency of young love., is entirely grammatically correct. If read literally, it is saying that the lyrics are compared to a lullaby and I think you mean the song itself.

• rephrased this

• I have two additional comments for the above sentence. It would be Entertainment Weekly and I am not sure the lullaby link is really necessary.

• must have been a typo, and removed the wiki-link from lullaby

• I am confused by this part, In the song, Styles sings of the titular animal, who's not named., specifically "the titular animal", since this creature is not named or even really pinned down as an anime (which I might be wrong as I have not heard this song before so apologies for that). This part just seemed odd to me.

• replaced "titular" with imaginative as the original article mentions that he sings about a "titular" and "metaphorical" animal.

• I would paraphrase the quote here, Harp said that the chorus was "hopeful" in which, as it is not particularly insightful and it takes away from the stronger quote later in the same sentence.

• removed the quote and rephrased this sentence.

I hope my comments are helpful. Apologies for doing this review in a more piecemeal fashion. I just want to make sure that I thoroughly read the article and catch everything. I will complete my review of the prose sometime tomorrow and then look through the citations sometime later in the week. Feel free to address any of my comments or ask any questions for further clarification. I hope you are having a great start to your week. Aoba47 (talk) 03:22, 17 August 2021 (UTC)

• Helpful indeed, I always appreciate your thorough, insightful comments in reviews. I have responded above. --Viridian Bovary (talk) 06:52, 17 August 2021 (UTC)

• I am glad that I can help. I will post more of my review within the hour. Aoba47 (talk) 15:20, 17 August 2021 (UTC)

Music and lyrics (part 2)

• Apologies for returning to this section. I just noticed something that I likely read over. This part, Featuring guitar picking, Styles performs simple harmonies and background runs on the track., is not grammatically correct as the sentence literally says that Styles features guitar picking.

• revised the line, please see it's alright

• Apologies for adding yet another comment about this section. I do not think the caption for the audio sample is strong enough to justify including non-free media. I would add more to why this song is necessary for the reader to understand something about the song that cannot be conveyed through prose alone. I would focus on something in the song's sound as focusing on the lyrics is, in my opinion, a weak reason for including an audio sample. Aoba47 (talk) 18:26, 18 August 2021 (UTC)

• revised the caption.

Critical reception

• I have two points about this part, with Jon Caramanica of The New York Times selecting it as one of the album's highlights. Avoid this sentence construction (i.e. with X verb-ing) as I have repeatedly seen notes against this. I do not have a strong personal opinion about it, but I would still avoid it as it seems to be a common criticism. Second, the Caramanica point does not fit within the sentence. The sentence is about the praise for Styles's vocals so having a part about "Sweet Creature" being an album highlight does not match that. It should be kept in the article, but it should be shifted somewhere else.

• moved it later in that section

• I am not entirely sure what this part means, said that the song trades in fanciful words for sincere pining. I would have assumed that the song has more literal lyrics, but from what I reading here, it still seems rather metaphorical so further clarification would be greatly appreciated.

• clarified a bit, please see if it's alright

• I would avoid the one-word quotes in these two parts, showcased Styles's "impressive" vocal range to reach and music critic Greg Kot wrote that the "trifle" song, as they are not particularly beneficial to the reader and can take away from the effectiveness of the quotes used elsewhere in the article.

• revised accordingly

• I have a few questions about this part, The guitar sound, which received comparisons to the Beatles' 1968 song, "Blackbird",. Could you expand on these comparisons as they are not immediately clear to me? Would any of these comparisons be appropriate for adding information to the "Music and lyrics" section? The only thing I am currently getting from the article right now is that people are comparing these two songs, but I do not know why or how.

• moved to "Music and lyrics", and made some additional changes there. Let me know if that looks better.

• It does look better, but would it be possible to expand more on how this song sounds like "Blackbird" (i.e. like adding a brief sentence from one of the reviewers)? It is not immediately clear to me how this song sounds like this other one (and I do not think it is particularly helpful for readers who have never heard of the Beatles song in the first place). Aoba47 (talk) 18:24, 18 August 2021 (UTC)

• added now, please see if it's alright.

Release and commercial performance

• This is a super nitpick-y comment so apologies in advance, but for this part, Upon release, the song reached, I think it should be "Upon its release" instead.

• done

Live performances

• This section is rather small so I would fold this into the "Release and commercial performance" section since this promotion is closely tied to the song's release.

• done

• For some reason, this part, delivered his first performance, sounds a little overly dramatic to me. I think "first performed" is simpler and more concise.

• revised

• Are there any reviews for these live performances?

• added, although it's a concert review of the song's performance

Credits and personnel

• There is over-linking in this section. Mark "Spike" Stent is linked twice and I would unlink writer, producer, bass, guitar, and piano as they are concepts that a majority of readers will understand.

• done

Again, I hope this review is helpful. I believe these should be all my comments for the prose. I will look through the citations once the above comments are addressed. Aoba47 (talk) 15:37, 17 August 2021 (UTC)

• Aoba47, I have responded above. Please let me know what you think. Many thanks for looking at this. --Viridian Bovary (talk) 08:36, 18 August 2021 (UTC)

• I have a response about the "Blackbird" comparisons as I think it would be helpful to add just a little more clarification. I also have a comment for the audio sample. I will look through the citations later today and post comments later today. Aoba47 (talk) 18:27, 18 August 2021 (UTC)

References

• Citation 2 is not dead (at least to me) so I would mark the link as live.

• fixed

• I did some further research on the song, as a majority of the citations are from 2017 and I wanted to see if there was any more recent coverage about it. I found a video on Styles's YouTube channel (here) that was published in 2020. I would think it is notable to briefly mention alongside the other live performances. Thoughts? Is this a 2020 performance of the song or just a repost of an older performance?

• It's actually a part of this documentary, and was released in 2017. Unable to find anything more recent on this.

Everything else looks good to me. Great work with the article. Aoba47 (talk) 19:17, 18 August 2021 (UTC)

• Thank you, Aoba47. I've responded above. --Viridian Bovary (talk) 05:52, 19 August 2021 (UTC)

Final comments

• Thank you addressing everything I will ✓ Pass this as a good article. If possible, I would appreciate feedback for my current FAC. I completely understand if you do not have the time or interest. I hope you have a great rest of your week! Aoba47 (talk) 16:28, 19 August 2021 (UTC)

  Aoba47, thank you! :) Viridian Bovary (talk) 13:04, 23 August 2021 (UTC)