Talk:Spider-Woman (Gwen Stacy)/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Adamstom.97 (talk · contribs) 23:37, 24 June 2017 (UTC)

Think I'll give reviewing this a go. I've never reviewed a comics-based article, but I have been involved with some and I have reviewed a few TV and film articles, so this should not be too difficult. - adamstom97 (talk) 23:37, 24 June 2017 (UTC)

First try

Here are some issues that I have found in the first couple of sections that need to be addressed:

• The infobox image caption could probably just say "Cover art for Spider-Gwen #0 (November 2015) by Robbi Rodriguez"

 Done.Jhenderson ⁷⁷⁷ 04:00, 26 June 2017 (UTC)

• Are all of those alternate Spider-Mans really notable enough to be listed as partners in the infobox? If they are all Web Warriors or something, then the team affiliations bit probably covers that, and the partnerships could be cut down to two or three big ones.

 Done. I took out the Web Warriors. That narrows it down to four if that's ok? Jhenderson ⁷⁷⁷ 04:00, 26 June 2017 (UTC)

• The lead should include a line about the reception to the character, probably at the start of the third paragraph.
• The design sheet image could probably go somewhere else, as it is very close to the infobox image and isn't really tied to the publication section. I would suggest the reception section but there is already the cosplay image there, so maybe in the characteristics section?
• Ok.  Done. Jhenderson ⁷⁷⁷ 04:00, 26 June 2017 (UTC)
• "was concerned restoring" doesn't make sense.

I copyedited. Better? Jhenderson ⁷⁷⁷ 04:00, 26 June 2017 (UTC)

• Is there a reason Rodriguez is wikilinked to in the publication section but no where else (should be consistent with the red link, either use it properly if you think an article should be created for him, or don't use it at all).

Ok. I redlinked all the times he was mentioned. Unless you prefer not to link at all. Jhenderson ⁷⁷⁷ 04:00, 26 June 2017 (UTC)

• "and which" should be something like "saying that she".

 Done. Jhenderson ⁷⁷⁷ 04:00, 26 June 2017 (UTC)

• "Slott, conversely, had" should be "Slott previously had", and "Regardless, Slott preferred and approved Rodriquez' design" should be "Slott ultimately approved of Rodriquez' design"

 Done. Jhenderson ⁷⁷⁷ 04:00, 26 June 2017 (UTC)

• "fridged" could be linked to Women in Refrigerators, and the note on that could be removed from this article.

 Done. Jhenderson ⁷⁷⁷ 04:00, 26 June 2017 (UTC)

• "superhero comics. So Latour saw Gwen" should be "superhero comics, and saw Gwen".

 Done. Jhenderson ⁷⁷⁷ 04:00, 26 June 2017 (UTC)

• There should be a comma before "saying, '".

 Done. Jhenderson ⁷⁷⁷ 04:00, 26 June 2017 (UTC)

Take care of those, and then the character summary needs a copy-edit. There are sentences in there that definitely don't make sense, and there is also quite a bit of info that seems to be there just to explain the differences between Earth-65 and the normal universe, which isn't what this page is for (the separate Spider-Gwen article can cover those differences). I'll carry on with the rest of the article once this stuff is covered. - adamstom97 (talk) 21:54, 25 June 2017 (UTC)

I think that all looks pretty good. Just give that summary a copy-edit and I'll have a look over the rest of the article. - adamstom97 (talk) 05:19, 26 June 2017 (UTC)

Ok I copyedited it. Hopefully it's improved somewhat. I would feel better if it's reviewed again. It's not an easy plot summary. Jhenderson ⁷⁷⁷ 20:15, 26 June 2017 (UTC)

This is a little difficult for me as I can't really get majorly involved with the copy-editing since I am the reviewer. Perhaps you could find someone else to do a copy-edit with fresh eyes, even if it is someone from the Guild. I am happy to wait until that is done. - adamstom97 (talk) 21:41, 26 June 2017 (UTC)

Well I wasn't asking you to copy edit. I was asking for a specific review on what needed copy edited as I have sort of already did my part. I will ask for others to help too. Jhenderson ⁷⁷⁷ 22:31, 26 June 2017 (UTC)

Well I had an Guild come over copyedited the article. I disagreed with a fair use image on there so I made a substitute. If you find it unnecessary then I can remove it too. Jhenderson ⁷⁷⁷ 00:20, 4 July 2017 (UTC)

Cool, I'll have another look through the article soon and get back to a more specific review. - adamstom97 (talk) 02:30, 4 July 2017 (UTC)

Second

I am starting from the beginning of the article again. Unfortunately, it looks like your copy-editor hasn't done a great job of making sure the article is well written and sensical, which is a big part of GA. I'll do my best to help fix that now, but there is still a lot of this article written in poor English.

• All throughout the article the character is referred to as both "it" and "she". Should just be "she".

I think I got them all. Jhenderson ⁷⁷⁷ 00:13, 6 July 2017 (UTC)

• I think the fragment "with the latter designing it in a mysterious way" should be removed, and a new paragraph should be begun after "commenced in 2015." A brief summary of the characteristics section should then be added to the second paragraph after the various enemies info.

 Done. Proofreading may be required for the addition. Jhenderson ⁷⁷⁷ 00:13, 6 July 2017 (UTC)

• "Marvel dubs as Earth-65" should just be "Marvel dubs Earth-65".

 Done. Jhenderson ⁷⁷⁷ 03:11, 5 July 2017 (UTC)

• We shouldn't link to List of Spider-Man enemies as that is about the main Spider-Man's enemies and does not discuss this version of the character at all.

 Done. Jhenderson ⁷⁷⁷ 03:11, 5 July 2017 (UTC)

• The last paragraph needs a c/e ("Super-Woman", "reviewes", "feminism perspective"

 Done. Jhenderson ⁷⁷⁷ 03:11, 5 July 2017 (UTC)

• Before the line beginning "In October 2014, Nick Lowe", you need to add a sourced line stating that the character is commonly referred to as "Spider-Gwen". This is then used as a name throughout the article so it is important to establish it first.
• The caption for the image in the summary section is a bit confusing. The terms above and below in image captions generally refer to two images, and I thought something had gone wrong with the wiki-markup that wasn't showing the second image. If it is supposed to be a single image, then the caption should read "depicting the Mary Janes (top) with Earth-616's Jessica Drew (bottom)."

 Done.Jhenderson ⁷⁷⁷ 00:13, 6 July 2017 (UTC)

• "becoming Earth-65's universe's original version of" should be "becoming the Earth-65 universe's version of".

Parker wasn't the only Lizard. They introduced Dr. Curt Connors among other men as Lizard too later on. That's why I added "original". Jhenderson ⁷⁷⁷ 03:35, 5 July 2017 (UTC)

• "At a gig of the Mary Janes playing" doesn't make sense.

I changed it. Jhenderson ⁷⁷⁷ 00:13, 6 July 2017 (UTC)

• There should not be an extra period after S.H.I.E.L.D.

Fixed. Jhenderson ⁷⁷⁷ 00:13, 6 July 2017 (UTC)

• Having six inline references together is quite a bit. I suggest Help:Citation merging. There should also be a space after those citations.

There isn't as many now and they are spaced out. Jhenderson ⁷⁷⁷ 00:13, 6 July 2017 (UTC)

• "She revealed Silk and Gwen Stacy that she planed to steal technology to take over the world." should be "She revealed to Silk and Gwen Stacy that she stole the technology to take over the world."

I fixed that while being specific on who "she" is. Jhenderson ⁷⁷⁷ 00:13, 6 July 2017 (UTC)

• "into escaping" should be "in escaping".

 Done Jhenderson ⁷⁷⁷ 00:13, 6 July 2017 (UTC)

• In the caption for the image in the characteristics section, can we just say shoes instead of "Chucks"? I had to google what they were.

Sure.  Done. 00:13, 6 July 2017 (UTC)

• Any instance of "Earth 65" should be consistently "Earth-65".

Agreed.  Done. Jhenderson ⁷⁷⁷ 00:13, 6 July 2017 (UTC)

• "experimentation of himself" should be "experimentation on himself".

 Done. Jhenderson ⁷⁷⁷ 00:13, 6 July 2017 (UTC)

• "similar powers of Spider-Man" should be "similar powers to Spider-Man".

 Done. Jhenderson ⁷⁷⁷ 00:13, 6 July 2017 (UTC)

• "given by her" should be "given to her".

 Done. Jhenderson ⁷⁷⁷ 00:13, 6 July 2017 (UTC)

• "swing building to building" should be "swing from building to building".

 Done. Jhenderson ⁷⁷⁷ 00:13, 6 July 2017 (UTC)

• "has a possession of a wristwatch that helps her travel to other multiverses due to the "Spider-Verse" events." should be "has possession of a wristwatch that allows her to travel through the multiverse, following the events of "Spider-Verse."

 Done. Jhenderson ⁷⁷⁷ 00:13, 6 July 2017 (UTC)

• "The daughter of police captain, George Stacy, Spider-Woman is depicted having detecting skills, analytical thinking and drummer skills. However, she is untrained in fighting and only picked up from kung fu films." should be "As the daughter of a police captain, Spider-Woman has detective skills and analytical thinking. She is not trained in fighting, but has picked up on elements from kung fu films."

 Done.Jhenderson ⁷⁷⁷ 00:13, 6 July 2017 (UTC)

• "Reed Richards helping her regain power through" should be "Reed Richards helping her regain her power through".

 Done. Jhenderson ⁷⁷⁷ 00:13, 6 July 2017 (UTC)

• "design is in part of" should be "design is part of".

 Done. Jhenderson ⁷⁷⁷ 00:13, 6 July 2017 (UTC)

• "along other female-themed" should be "and other female-themed".

 Done.Jhenderson ⁷⁷⁷ 00:13, 6 July 2017 (UTC)

• Don't refer to real life people by just their first name. It is bad enough that this article does so with fictional people. Either their full name, or their surname.

My bad.  Done. Jhenderson ⁷⁷⁷ 00:13, 6 July 2017 (UTC)

• "her own brand of humor to stand apart from her own" doesn't make sense.

"from her own" is gone from the article. Everything else is a quote from what he said. Jhenderson ⁷⁷⁷ 00:13, 6 July 2017 (UTC)`

• "feminism perspective" again, should be "feminist perspective".

 Done. 00:13, 6 July 2017 (UTC)

• "best Spider-Men by" should be "best Spider-Man by".

I quoted "Spider-Men" because that's what the source said. Jhenderson ⁷⁷⁷ 00:13, 6 July 2017 (UTC)

• "alternate versions of Spider-Man" should be "alternate version of Spider-Man"

 Done. Jhenderson ⁷⁷⁷ 00:13, 6 July 2017 (UTC)

• "opining that she was" should be "opining that her stories were".

Makes sense.  Done. Jhenderson ⁷⁷⁷ 00:13, 6 July 2017 (UTC)

• I don't know what "chils" is.

That's a typo on the copyeditors part. Fixed. Jhenderson ⁷⁷⁷ 00:13, 6 July 2017 (UTC)

• Why does this article have an external link to Reddit?

I am not sure why. So I removed it. Jhenderson ⁷⁷⁷ 00:13, 6 July 2017 (UTC)

• On the images, I think the three ones in the body of the article are all good. They should either be all right aligned, or alternate sides of the article, but not aligned as they are now.

Ok. They are all right then. Jhenderson ⁷⁷⁷ 00:13, 6 July 2017 (UTC)

Let me know if there are any problems with these points. - adamstom97 (talk) 23:06, 4 July 2017 (UTC)

@Adamstom.97:They only problems I have with is that the Peter isn't the only Lizard and that "Spider-Men" seems more accurate according to the source. Double checking may be needed. I also hope you make sense out of the her brand of humor part because I understand it. Jhenderson ⁷⁷⁷ 00:13, 6 July 2017 (UTC)

I figured that was the case with "original", but I still think it should be removed. This article isn't for explaining that info, and in fact it does not, so the way it is presented is confusing. Removing "original" clears up the confusion by removing mention of something that isn't explained, and it makes the sentence read better. As for "Spider-Men", the problem is that it doesn't make sense in that sentence. It should either be "was listed as the seventh best Spider-Man by" or "was named number seven in a list of the best Spider-Men by", something like that. - adamstom97 (talk) 21:58, 6 July 2017 (UTC)

@Adamstom.97:Ok. I believe I did everything. You are welcome to check. Jhenderson ⁷⁷⁷ 23:33, 6 July 2017 (UTC)

Yeah, that looks good. I'll give the article another check soon, but I think I am reasonably happy with how the article is written now and will be able to move onto the next section of the review. - adamstom97 (talk) 01:27, 7 July 2017 (UTC)

Third

@Jhenderson777: Sorry for the long wait, I've been busy of late and this slipped my mind. Firstly, a few things that I have found just going over the article again:

• In the context of the lead for this article, the mention of Earth-616 seems unnecessarily confusing. Taking that out still reads fine, and for the purposes of the short summary should be okay.
• Still a couple uses of "it" when referring to the character throughout the article.
• I've just noticed a few instances where there are multiple references together. These should not have spaces between them.
• The first paragraph of the publication section ends with two sentences beginning with "The character". The second could probably be changed to "She" or something.
• "when he realized that he was familiar with" should be "when he realized that he was not familiar with".
• "Earth-65's universe's version" should be "Earth-65's version"

Other than those, the article is looking pretty good. Referencing is fine, cosplay image is fine. The other three images could do with better rationales for being used—you need to convince the strictest editors that you have a good reason to include those. Sort those things out and we'll probably be good to go. - adamstom97 (talk) 00:26, 26 July 2017 (UTC)

I took care of the bulleted points. I'll leave the image issues to User:Jhenderson777. Argento Surfer (talk) 18:25, 28 July 2017 (UTC)

Hey. Clearly I was inactive for a bit. I understand you were busy in other articles. I will see what I can do with the images. I might remove the band one too. Jhenderson ⁷⁷⁷ 01:36, 29 July 2017 (UTC)

@Argento Surfer: I might need help on figuring out the "better" rationale. I thank you for too for the copyediting. I would've done it sooner or later.Jhenderson ⁷⁷⁷ 01:48, 29 July 2017 (UTC)

I've expanded some of the rationales. I think the band one should go - it's not a very good image, especially for character identification. It would help if the caption named all of them, but not much. I think the character sheet should be taken out also. It's a nice clear picture of the costume, but all the elements highlighted by the caption are visible in the infobox image. Argento Surfer (talk) 13:57, 31 July 2017 (UTC)

Ok then. I removed those two images. Jhenderson ⁷⁷⁷ 20:25, 31 July 2017 (UTC)

Very well then, that covers all my issues so I'll pass the article. Well done guys, and sorry again for taking so long to get back to you. - adamstom97 (talk) 22:22, 31 July 2017 (UTC)

No problem. I get sidetracked with other articles (or real life) too. Also thanks for the review. I am happy it passed. :) Jhenderson ⁷⁷⁷ 22:54, 7 August 2017 (UTC)