Talk:Shut Up and Dance (Black Mirror)/GA1

Latest comment: 5 years ago by Bilorv in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 14:00, 22 July 2019 (UTC)Reply


Comments very good.

  • Image caption in the infobox is a fragment, so no full stop.
  • "Whilst series one..." sentence contains a few too many run-ons...
  • Is it worth noting somewhere that all six episodes are technically unrelated to one another?
    Added As Black Mirror is an anthology series, each episode is standalone. to the end of the first production paragraph. Bilorv (he/him) (talk) 17:32, 22 July 2019 (UTC)Reply
  • "Having recently written series three episode "San Junipero", which was about a story set in the past, Brooker was wondering whether he could do a story set in the present" firstly San Junipero was really not "set in the past", it was a future reality episode with a 1980s artificial reality setting. Also, I'm not sure "whether he could do a story" is encyclopedic writing.
    Replaced with Having recently written series three episode "San Junipero", which was conceived of as a 1980s period piece, Brooker was interested in writing a present-day story. (And added an EW source to explicitly verify "1980s period piece".) Bilorv (he/him) (talk) 17:32, 22 July 2019 (UTC)Reply
  • " was originally America" do you mean "the United States"?
    Yep, I do. Bilorv (he/him) (talk) 17:32, 22 July 2019 (UTC)Reply
  • "was previously known as the director" -> "had previously directed"
  • "episodes "Nosedive" and "San Junipero"" no need to relink San Junipero.
  • "during shooting, in the car scenes" do you mean "during the shooting of the in-car scenes?" I'm not clear on what this means as it stands.
    That is what I mean, so I've changed it to that wording. Bilorv (he/him) (talk) 17:32, 22 July 2019 (UTC)Reply
  • " Kenny is constantly uncomfortable in his own skin." this doesn't read very encyclopedically to me.
    Changed it to He [Lawther] also believed that Kenny feels constantly uncomfortable. Bilorv (he/him) (talk) 17:32, 22 July 2019 (UTC)Reply
  • "pedophile" Brit Eng spells is "paedophile".
  • "They got permission f..." who are "They"? and "received permission" is more encyclopedic in tone than "got".
    Changed to The producers received permission from Radiohead ... Bilorv (he/him) (talk) 17:32, 22 July 2019 (UTC)Reply
  • No need to relink the A.V. Club or The Daily Telegraph.
  • " which is crucial to the twist" this isn't a quote but it reads very much like an opinion.
    Changed to which she found crucial to the twist. Bilorv (he/him) (talk) 17:32, 22 July 2019 (UTC)Reply
  • Ref 20 has spaced hyphen, should be en dash.

A few things to think about so I'll put it on hold. The Rambling Man (REJOICE!) 14:24, 22 July 2019 (UTC)Reply

I've addressed everything, I think, in this edit and responded inline where the change was non-trivial. Let me know if there's anything that still needs work, and thanks for the review! Bilorv (he/him) (talk) 17:32, 22 July 2019 (UTC)Reply
No worries. I'll take a look again in an hour or so. FWIW, I'm just watching every episode from scratch again, and thoroughly enjoying it. I'll take a quick diversion into this episode just to make sure your plot synopsis is spot on, although it's such a memorable episode I'm sure it's fine. More soon. Thanks for getting onto it so quickly. The Rambling Man (REJOICE!) 17:48, 22 July 2019 (UTC)Reply

At 22:30 (ish) in, when they're leaving the hotel, there's a young man standing by reception, and he and Hector "recognise" each other. Is this perhaps Mindy? The Rambling Man (REJOICE!) 14:29, 23 July 2019 (UTC)Reply

Boring answer first: this is not suggested in any critical reviews (or at least, not a major part of critical commentary) and so it doesn't have a place in the article.
Onto the real analysis: if by "Mindy" you mean the blackmailer/hacker, who watches Kenny and webchats to Hector, then yes, the man is most commonly inferred by fans to be a/the blackmailer, who has come to watch his victims suffer. It may be the same blackmailer or a different one to the person who Hector later gets scared by when Kenny is robbing the bank, causing Hector to drive off for a minute. However, we can dig a level deeper. Hector's reactions to these situations seems to indicate that he's thinking about the boy(s) being the hacker, like we do, but this could just be his paranoia playing up, and the boy(s) might be hanging around for completely innocuous reasons. The episode wants to set a certain tone of constant discomfort with these choices.
We might do well to take note of this line from the "Production" section of this article: In a different draft, the hackers were shown in an internet cafe in Eastern Europe, having blackmailed the characters for fun. There's a reason this was removed in the final draft and it was a conscious decision to have the hackers be invisible and unrevealed. One great ambiguity of this episode is who the hackers are and what their aim is, and we get several hints—such as this boy's stare at Hector and the revealing morality about who the hackers target and what punishment they inflict to what crimes—but in the end, it's up to the viewer to interpret what they want, and one major interpretation certainly is that this boy is the sole blackmailer, and he gets a sick enjoyment from the situation. Bilorv (he/him) (talk) 20:35, 23 July 2019 (UTC)Reply
Actually, what I meant was that the boy standing in the reception area was the prostitute that Hector was waiting for. The Rambling Man (REJOICE!) 05:34, 24 July 2019 (UTC)Reply
Ah, I did wonder, but I've never heard that suggestion before. You can interpret that he is but I don't think anyone writing/directing/acting in the episode planned for that to be an interpretation. "Mindy" is a girl's name, Hector has not much reason to lie about the gender of the prostitute he was talking to online (and there's no age problems—the boy in the lobby definitely looks as old as the age of consent of 16) and I feel like the boy might have spoken up were he waiting for Hector. I say above that I think the look shared is related to Hector being paranoid, rather than consciously recognising the boy, and what the beat is instead most likely intended to be interpreted as. Bilorv (he/him) (talk) 06:45, 24 July 2019 (UTC)Reply
Yeah, I get that Mindy's a girl's name, but never mind, it was just a very odd moment, there's a clear instance of recognition between the boy and Hector. This wouldn't mean the boy was the blackmailer, but someone who Hector knew or had seen before. Anyway, speculation (interesting stuff though). I'll take a last look at the article later today and confirm it's fit for promotion. Cheers. The Rambling Man (REJOICE!) 07:34, 24 July 2019 (UTC)Reply
  • Last sentences of the first para of Production section need references.
  • "Brooker was interested in writing a present-day story.[9][10] Brooker " just "He" on the second sentence to avoid repeated Brooker.

Otherwise I think we're good to go now. The Rambling Man (REJOICE!) 08:49, 24 July 2019 (UTC)Reply

All good. Please do ping me if you choose to nominate any of the others. I've just revisited the entire series (well, up to "Hang the DJ") so would be happy to help wherever I can. The Rambling Man (REJOICE!) 12:17, 24 July 2019 (UTC)Reply
Amazing, thanks again for the review. I'll take you up on that if I get around to the next one anytime soon. Bilorv (he/him) (talk) 12:35, 24 July 2019 (UTC)Reply