Talk:Sarah Stewart (basketball)/GA1

Latest comment: 10 years ago by Hawkeye7 in topic GA Review

GA Review edit

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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 15:47, 14 August 2013 (UTC)Reply

Comments

Then we can talk! The Rambling Man (talk) 16:03, 14 August 2013 (UTC)Reply

It should be fine now. Hawkeye7 (talk) 20:21, 19 August 2013 (UTC)Reply

Comments plus

  • Is it 3 point or 3.0 point?
    •  Y 3.0 player, but when they talk about the 3 point class, they mean 3.0 and 3,5 point players. Hawkeye7 (talk) 22:07, 24 August 2013 (UTC)Reply
  • Not sure we should be wikilinking common geographical terms like London or Australia.
    •  Y Unlinked Australia, kept London for consistency with other cities. Hawkeye7 (talk) 22:07, 24 August 2013 (UTC)Reply
  • "League (WNWBL) an the National Wheelchair" typo?
  • "since 2002.She has" space needed?
  • "2012, 2010, 2009, 2008 and 2004" etc. Chronological order is preferred.
  • "Career highlights include being" not exactly prose, more of a CV, perhaps rephrase for normal lead prose.
  • "Sarah Stewart was born on 13" no need to repeat Sarah.
  • "This resulted in her being in a wheelchair" no, it resulted in her needing to use a wheelchair for mobility.
  • Again, check for "She... She... She... She..." which makes for dull prose.
    •  Y Always a problem with any biographical article. Tried to reduce this. Hawkeye7 (talk) 22:07, 24 August 2013 (UTC)Reply
  • "In 2004 she earned the Sydney... " new para so "In 2004, Stewart...
  • "Razorbacks.[11][3]" ref order. Check others.
    • Ref order is sensitive to small editing changes. Hawkeye7 (talk) 22:07, 24 August 2013 (UTC)Reply
  • " 52-44" en-dash. Please fix this issue in the other GANs you have to save me from having to comment on each and every one every time!
    •  Y Done. Will be checking the others in due course. If you want to raise an RfC to get rid of the ndashes and mdashes, I'll vote for it. Hawkeye7 (talk) 22:07, 24 August 2013 (UTC)Reply
  • "She was part of the silver medal " -> "Stewart was part of the silver medal-winning team".
  • List stats table in chronological order (again, please do this in all other GANs).
  • Why is PTS not in bold (again....)
  • Avoid SHOUTING in the refs (e.g. ATHENS)

Still on hold. The Rambling Man (talk) 16:39, 24 August 2013 (UTC)Reply