Talk:Rebecca Tobey/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Carbrera (talk · contribs) 18:24, 4 June 2016 (UTC)

Infobox

• The image of Rebecca Tobey's "Path Finder" requires a description in the "alt" parameter; please add one
  • Done

Lead

Paragraph 1

• "Rebecca Tobey is an American artist based in Santa Fe, New Mexico." --> I don't know why but the "based in" part reads awkwardly to me; can you something else be placed here instead?
  • C/e by GOC
• Has Tobey only created animal sculptures? You can talk about her writing work as well here
  • Added about her book

Paragraph 2

• This kind-of looks like an afterthought; could it be expanded?
  • Expanded

Early life

Paragraph 1

• Is her full name available, including middle?
• Use her full name here, as in "Rebecca Tobey was born in 1948 in Mason, Texas...." please
• "Right from childhood she had fascination for animals and nature." --> "Throughout her childhood she always had a fascination for animals and nature."
• "Right from childhood she had fascination for animals and nature." --> Source?

Paragraph 2

• Why was she sent to a boarding school in Lowell, Maryland? I thought she lived in Texas?
  • Clarified now
• Link "Lowell, Maryland" to its respective article please
  • There is no article on this
• "The first sculpture which Rebecca and her husband created was in 1997, which was named "Wind River"..." Which is a transition or contrast word, yet there is no contrast word; please replace it and reword the entire sentence
  • Edited by GOC
• ""Wandering Star" was another of their creation sculpted in 1992 which has on one side carving of "southwestern dragon" carved onto the side." --> ""Wandering Star" was another of their creations, which was sculpted in 1992 and on one side has a "southwestern dragon" carved onto the side."
  • Corrected
• "The second sculpture was a large curved buffalo named "The Tobey Buffalo". "Wandering Star" was another of their creation sculpted in 1992 which has on one side carving of "southwestern dragon" carved onto the side." --> Source?
  • Corrected

Move to Santa Fe

Paragraph 1

• "to the southwest city. There she worked as the director..." --> "to the southwest city; there she worked as the director..."
• "his art work..." --> "his artwork..."
  • Corrected
• "team in art work..." --> "team in artwork..."
  • Corrected

Paragraph 2

• "Tobey started working, based on her conceptual thinking and pictures, creating sculptures in three dimensional mode." --> "Tobey started working, based on her conceptual thinking and pictures, creating sculptures in three dimensional mode." Sentence is grammatically incorrect; please reword + source?
  • Corrected
• "Her animal sculptures are creations with overlaid features which are unique and reveal something new to every viewer." --> Personally, this statement sounds a bit bias and also has no source
  • Corrected by GOC
• "Some of her ceramic sculptures have graffiti inscribed on them and with perforations on them which "create interesting compositions using negative space."[4]" --> Uses "on them" twice, back–to–back
  • Corrected
• "With her husband she created many sculptures of which the 15 ft sculpture of bear called the "Spirit Walker" made of bronze was exhibited and donated in 2000 to the Law School of Baylor University; it has sketches on the history of Waco, inscribed on its surface.[1][2]" --> Please reword it
  • Corrected by GOC

Personal life

• Kinda short; anything else to add?
  • Added

Works by Gene and Rebecca Tobey

• No sources for the entire section
  • Added a source
• Remember, Wikipedia is not a list of trivial information

End of GA Review:

Although I would love to see this article become GA–status, I'm concerned over a few things regarding it. Primarily, I do not think this article is broad in its coverage, one of the six required criteria for a GA. Also, this article contains a lot of grammatical errors and spelling mistakes. I feel like this article could be pushed further to bring it to its highest potential, but this requires expansion. I would also recommend that the nominator nominates this for a copyedit. I will place this on hold for seven days to allow for all of these changes. Please @PING me with any questions, comments, or concerns. I do not mean to be harsh, I just am trying to perform a honest and thorough review. Thank you and good luck. Cheers, Carbrera (talk) 03:02, 21 June 2016 (UTC).

• Carbrera The article has been copy edited by GOC. I have added more text and addressed all issues. Pl see.Nvvchar. 04:01, 26 June 2016 (UTC)

• Nvvchar Oh that's great news! Glad to look over it and it looked great! At first I didn't expect to pass it, but you have definitely expanded it to its highest potential! Great work! Cheers, Carbrera (talk) 03:07, 27 June 2016 (UTC).

• Carbrera Thanks for promoting the article.Nvvchar. 03:22, 27 June 2016 (UTC)

Note, that after discussion on the talk page, we informally re-assessed the review and consensus (including the reviewer) was the article fails GA criteria 1b ("list incorporation") and 3a ("broad in coverage"). Ritchie333 ^{(talk) (cont)} 09:53, 2 July 2016 (UTC)