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Raised by Another has been listed as one of the Media and drama good articles under the good article criteria. If you can improve it further, please do so. If it no longer meets these criteria, you can reassess it. Review: April 9, 2015. (Reviewed version). |
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Sourced
editI can possibly understand the "overly long" tag, but unsourced? It is all taken from a single episode, isn't it? — Preceding unsigned comment added by 69.158.69.241 (talk) 22:44, 30 April 2012 (UTC)
GA Review
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- This review is transcluded from Talk:Raised by Another/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Seattle (talk · contribs) 16:24, 5 April 2015 (UTC)
Comments
- No DAB links, but two dead links
- File:Emilie de Ravin.jpg: source link is dead, needs a personality rights template at the Commons. Emilie De Ravin → Emilie de Ravin in the image's caption.
- as she is rejected by her boyfriend who refuses to raise their child and thus, decides to go to an adoption agency when she believes she will struggle to raise it alone who goes to the adoption agency is ambiguous in current phrasing
- In response, Hurley decides to start a census of all of the survivors when he makes a shocking discovery. which is...? WP:LEAD states: "Consideration should be given to creating interest in reading more of the article, but the lead should not "tease" the reader by hinting at content that follows."
- You give an actor for Claire but not for Ethan or Charlie?
- it's positive MOS:CONTRACTION advises to avoid contractions. Contractions occur several times over the section.
- Is there a reason the psychic is upset?
- Is the color of his playing cards particularly necessary, or can they go?
- After unfolding several layers of material she dips her hands into a pool of blood and then wakes screaming. She has injured her hands by digging her nails deeply into her palms. can you combine these sentences with a colon?
- This attack persuades Hugo "Hurley" Reyes (Jorge Garcia) to take a census in the dream?
- Jack Shephard (Matthew Fox) suggests to Claire that she wasn't attacked and was imagining it and offers her a sedative. Really poor construction; far too many "and"s, and I still don't know what the "attack" was, whether it was in a dream or reality
- James "Sawyer" Ford (Josh Holloway) has the flight manifest what's the "flight manifest?
- I've linked flight manifest and indicated it is from the plane. Ruby 2010/2013 00:52, 8 April 2015 (UTC)
- Can you combine the second and third paragraphs in the "On the Island" section?
- Locke looks on from the shadows with his arms crossed. is this important? If so, he should be addressed as "Jack", if you want to define by given names.
- Claire's contractions begin to stop. I thought they already stopped? Can you combine this paragraph and the one above?
- "screw up" isn't particularly encyclopedic, can you quote something?
- The first season contained flashbacks of main characters, the purpose being "the purpose being" unnecessary here
- An estimated 17.15 million viewers watched the episode live, meaning it placed first that night and in tenth place for the week among all major American networks. Sentence needs parallelism between the verb "placed" and the noun "place"
- human threat for our survivors replace "our" with "[the]".
Duplication detector reports, based on this revision: reference two checks out, reference sixteen checks out. Reference checks, based on same revision: reference 17 ranking and quote check out, reference 15, "stellar" quote checks out, date checks out, antagonist statement checks, longer quote checks. Seattle (talk) 16:24, 5 April 2015 (UTC)
- Thank you for reviewing! I will get to these comments shortly and post here when I believe the article is ready for a second look. Ruby 2010/2013 02:50, 6 April 2015 (UTC)
- Hi Seattle, I have finished editing the article per your helpful comments. Please let me know if there is anything else needed here. Thanks! Ruby 2010/2013 00:52, 8 April 2015 (UTC)
- After Claire thinks, she walks out on the adoption agency I think "of" would work better than "on" here, but I wanted to check that this won't change its meaning
- He gives her $6,000 and a ticket on Oceanic Flight 815 and says a couple in Los Angeles will adopt the baby and give her an additional $6,000. far too many "and"s
- Sawyer surprisingly gives it to Hurley without any objection why is this surprising?
- Emilie de Ravin, an Australian actress, originally auditioned for the role of Shannon can you link "Shannon" somewhere?
- The lead could use a sentence on the "Production" section, so that it incorporates all sections. Seattle (talk) 21:03, 8 April 2015 (UTC)