Talk:Mystery of Love/GA1
Latest comment: 6 years ago by Ceranthor in topic GA Review
GA Review edit
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Reviewer: Ceranthor (talk · contribs) 22:55, 24 April 2018 (UTC)
I'll be reviewing this.
- Lead
- '"Mystery of Love" is a song written and performed by American singer-songwriter Sufjan Stevens, and produced by Thomas Bartlett."' - why the comma before "and produced"?
- Resolved
- "t is an acoustic song that is featured in the 2017 film Call Me by Your Name." - abrupt, and disrupts the flow of sentences around it
- Resolved
- "The lyrics are about romance and allude to the relationship between film characters Elio and Oliver." - I think the verb "treat" romance would be better than just boring "are about", even if you don't use "treat" I think anything is better than "are about"
- Resolved
- "It contains clips from the film and new footage recorded at the National Archaeological Museum in Naples." - new footage? of what? and why is it new?
- Resolved
- "It was featured on the official soundtrack in addition to two other Stevens-penned songs ("Futile Devices" and "Visions of Gideon")." - the film's official soundtrack - clarify that
- Resolved
- Concept
- "Describing the process as challenging due to Stevens being a "very reserved person as an artist", Guadagnino eventually convinced him to create music for the film and supplied him the script and André Aciman's novel, which served as the basis for the film, for inspiration." - citation should go after a direct quote
- Resolved
- "He was also inspired after partaking in conversation with Guadagnino about the story's plot and characters.[5]" - slightly unclear pronoun use; I'd just switch "he" to "Stevens"
- Resolved
- "Stevens was given complete creative control while songwriting, which he was grateful for and thanked Guadagnino's willingness to trust others for the opportunity.[6]" - redundant to say "Grateful for and thanked"; grammar is a bit off in the second half too
- Resolved
- "Stevens contributed to a total of three songs on the soundtrack, being "Mystery of Love", "Visions of Gideon" and a remix of his 2010 song "Futile Devices"," - no need for "being"; I'd also add a colon before the song names
- Resolved
- "The album was released on November 3, 2017," - you should clarify that you're referring to the film's album, not one of Stevens's own
- Resolved
- Composition and lyrical interpretation
- "Daniel Mergarry, a writer for Gay Times called "Mystery of Love" the "more hopeful" of Stevens' two songs,[24] " - "a writer for Gay Times" should be contained with commas
- Resolved
- Reception
- "Ultimately, the award was given to "Remember Me" from Coco.[44]" - I'd rephrase this... the award "went to" Remember Me might be better
- Resolved
- Promotion and music video
- "Stevens told reporters at the show that he never had worn a tuxedo prior to his live performance.[52]" - "he had never", not "he never had"
- Resolved
- References
- What makes musicnotes.com a reliable source?
- The blog-like reviews - are they generally accepted as reliable and worth including despite the fact that some of them lack Wikipedia pages for their site?
More comments once these are addressed. Good work so far. ceranthor 22:55, 24 April 2018 (UTC)
@Carbrera: Not sure if you've seen these comments - wanted to give you a ping just in case. ceranthor 16:01, 28 April 2018 (UTC)
- Ceranthor – Hey, I started addressing a few things, but would you be fine if I resumed addressing things this weekend? This week is finals week for me so that will be consuming most of my time. Carbrera (talk) 20:29, 29 April 2018 (UTC).
- Carbrera Nope, that's fine. Good luck with exams! ceranthor 20:40, 29 April 2018 (UTC)
- @Carbrera: Any updates? ceranthor 03:59, 6 May 2018 (UTC)
- Carbrera Nope, that's fine. Good luck with exams! ceranthor 20:40, 29 April 2018 (UTC)