Talk:Kenneth Grant/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Sainsf (talk · contribs) 07:14, 15 May 2016 (UTC)

I would be happy to give this a push ahead. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 07:14, 15 May 2016 (UTC)

Lead

• with his wife Steffi Grant he founded his own Thelemite organisation I think "he founded his own Thelemite organisation with his wife Steffi Grant" flows better (you can omit "Grant")

• Done; although I've kept "Grant" in "Steffi Grant" as not all women take their husband's surname. Midnightblueowl (talk) 20:01, 15 May 2016 (UTC)

• Wikilink esoteric

• Done. Midnightblueowl (talk) 19:59, 15 May 2016 (UTC)

• "O.T.O." should be mentioned alongside "Ordo Templi Orientis" only in the 2nd line, try to use "O.T.O." everywhere afterward.

• At present the full name of "Ordo Templi Orientis" is used only twice, only in the lede and then at the first mention of it in the article body. I was of the view that this was permissible, akin to the repeat of a link in both in the lede and the main body? Midnightblueowl (talk) 19:59, 15 May 2016 (UTC)

• I meant you should put the abbreviation say first mention (here in the first para of the lead, not the second) and use the abbreviation for the rest of the lead, and then repeat this for the Main article (which you have done). Sainsf (talk · contribs) 05:59, 16 May 2016 (UTC)

• Ah, I see what you mean. However, in the lede we mention both the Typhonian Ordo Templi Orientis (which was the Grants' organisation) and then the Ordo Templi Orientis (which was the older organisation that Crowley led in Britain). Accordingly I don't think it appropriate to use "O.T.O." after "Typhonian Ordo Templi Orientis" and then use it as a shorthand for the older Ordo Templi Orientis. Midnightblueowl (talk) 10:13, 16 May 2016 (UTC)

• Agreed. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 10:24, 16 May 2016 (UTC)

Early life and Aleister Crowley

• Don't we know the names of his parents?

• Unfortunately I haven't seen the names in any of the reliable sources. Midnightblueowl (talk) 20:16, 15 May 2016 (UTC)

• He had made use of a personal magical symbol How did the symbol look?

• I'm not sure, to be honest. I can't recall it appearing in the reliable sources that I consulted. Midnightblueowl (talk) 20:16, 15 May 2016 (UTC)

• It would be helpful to add "occultist" before the first mention of Crowley.

• Good idea. Done. Midnightblueowl (talk) 20:16, 15 May 2016 (UTC)

The New Isis Lodge and Austin Osman Spare

• After both Crowley and Spare's death May be say only Spare, as it has been a while since Crowley's death?

• Done. Midnightblueowl (talk) 20:16, 15 May 2016 (UTC)

• During the 1950s and 1960s Spare also authored a number of novels, although these would only be published by Starfire Publishing between 1997 and 2012 Why mention this?

• It gives a better impression of his actions; he was writing novels in this period alongside his other works, but could not (presumably) get them published till much later. Midnightblueowl (talk) 20:16, 15 May 2016 (UTC)

Typhonian O.T.O. and growing fame

• he examined Crowley's sex magick Is "magick" different from "magic"?

• Yes, Crowley specifically used the spelling of "magick" to refer to his practices. Midnightblueowl (talk) 19:52, 15 May 2016 (UTC)

• Just to make sure, have you stated this point explicitly anywhere? The reader shouldn't treat this as a typo. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 05:59, 16 May 2016 (UTC)

• Good point. However, on second thought it might be better to simply change the spelling to "magic" because I cannot find an appropriate juncture in the article in which to embark on a discussion of Crowley's specific spellings. Midnightblueowl (talk) 10:13, 16 May 2016 (UTC)

• Sure, go ahead. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 10:24, 16 May 2016 (UTC)

Legacy

• Who is Michael Aquino?

• He was the founder of the Temple of Set, however there is probably no real need to mention him here (particularly as we don't have an article devoted to him), so I shall remove him from the article. Midnightblueowl (talk) 19:52, 15 May 2016 (UTC)

Bibliography

• What are the sources for the table entries? Is each point sourced?

• They all come from the Bogdan sources that are mentioned just before the table itself. Do you think that I should make this more explicit? Midnightblueowl (talk) 19:52, 15 May 2016 (UTC)

• It would be safe to add a line stating that all the information of the table comes from this bibliography. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 05:59, 16 May 2016 (UTC)

• Done! Midnightblueowl (talk) 10:13, 16 May 2016 (UTC)

That should be it. No dablinks, no copyvio spotted. Images are properly licensed. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 09:33, 15 May 2016 (UTC)

• Many thanks Sainsf! Midnightblueowl (talk) 20:18, 15 May 2016 (UTC)

Great, three points remaining. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 05:59, 16 May 2016 (UTC)

Many thanks for reading the article and undertaking the review, Sainsf. Was there anything else impeding the article's progression to GA status? Midnightblueowl (talk) 16:55, 16 May 2016 (UTC)

Oh, did you fix the magick issue? Sainsf (talk · contribs) 17:04, 16 May 2016 (UTC)

Indeed I did. Midnightblueowl (talk) 09:45, 17 May 2016 (UTC)

Two more things. "When Crowley died in 1947, Grant was seen as his heir apparent in Britain" is this the island or the country? If so, United Kingdom would be better for clarity. Secondly, in the early life section, Autumn 1944 should be reworded per MOS:SEASON. Valenciano (talk) 09:51, 17 May 2016 (UTC)

@Valenciano: Thanks for your comment. I promoted this just now, before I read your comment. I'm sure Midnightblueowl would fix these soon. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 09:54, 17 May 2016 (UTC)