Talk:Kathleen O'Kelly-Kennedy/GA1

Latest comment: 10 years ago by Hawkeye7 in topic GA Review

GA Review edit

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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 17:30, 30 June 2013 (UTC)Reply

Comments

  • Two sentence lead? Too short.
  • "Centre/Forward" - just use the article title and avoid the horrible overcaps.
  • "bronze medal winning" probably needs hyphenation.
  • "Kathleen O'Kelly-Kennedy playing wheelchair basketball for the Stacks Goudcamp Bears in June 2013" caption. I don't think so. She's posing for a photo, not playing basketball.
    • Only because I asked her to. It was between games. Changed the caption. Hawkeye7 (talk) 21:40, 30 June 2013 (UTC)Reply
  • "Kathleen O'Kelly-Kennedy was born on 21 June 1986" no need to repeat first name.
  • Why was one foot amputated?
    • No idea. I could ask her if you like. Hawkeye7 (talk) 21:40, 30 June 2013 (UTC)Reply
      • Well that would be good, but it would be preferable to get it from somewhere we could list a citation? The Rambling Man (talk) 16:32, 2 July 2013 (UTC)Reply
  • "She has gone by a number of nicknames, including Kat, Kitty, Blondie and Felix.[3]" sentence is out of place as we learn how she became a paralympian. Let's move this somewhere more pertinent.
    • Moved it down to the end of the section. Hawkeye7 (talk) 21:40, 30 June 2013 (UTC)Reply
  • "where they became a kind of cheer squad" -> "a kind of" is that encyclopaedic?
    • "kind of" always reminds me of a [[Geordi La Forge|Star Trek character. Deleted. Hawkeye7 (talk)
  • What is "standing basketball"?
    • The more common variant of the game without wheels. The Germans quaintly call it "pedestrian" basketball. Dropped "standing", added a link instead. Hawkeye7 (talk) 21:40, 30 June 2013 (UTC)Reply
  • "2011-12 season" en-dash.
  • Last couple of paras of her career in wheelchair basketball need some work, descends into factoid kingdom.
  • Table needs a key, what is 3PM-A?
  • Pertinent to the subject, this article needs work for WP:ACCESS, particularly MOS:DTT for tables.
    • I've added a key, lifted from the basketball statistics article. I considered some other options, but the table presents the information concisely, in the form that basketball fans expect to see it. The key contains links for those requiring still further explanation. Hawkeye7 (talk) 21:40, 30 June 2013 (UTC)Reply
  • "23-62" en-dash.
  • Ref 9 is malformed.

The Rambling Man (talk) 17:40, 30 June 2013 (UTC)Reply

GAN criteria edit

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose):   b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):  
    Above comments cover the issues I've noted.
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (reference section):   b (citations to reliable sources):   c (OR):  
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects):   b (focused):  
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:  
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:  
  6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales):   b (appropriate use with suitable captions):  
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:  

Comment on hold until the above issues are resolved. The Rambling Man (talk) 17:40, 30 June 2013 (UTC)Reply

Nearly there, just that one pending issue on the amputation. The Rambling Man (talk) 16:32, 2 July 2013 (UTC)Reply