Talk:Josh Holmes (video game designer)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 09:39, 17 May 2021 (UTC)

Comments

• "Canadian game producer and video game designer originally" -> "Canadian video game producer and designer originally" linked appropriately.
• Could link Game testing
• "on Halo: Reach, " link.
• " Halo 4 " link.
• "Halo 5: Guardians," link.
• "indie" can we be encyclopedic and stick with "independent"?
• "is currently working" see WP:CURRENTLY.
• "new game at Midwinter Entertainment." worth noting that this is a company he founded.
• Where is date of birth referenced?
• I don't see those introductory life facts in ref 1.
• Link pilot.
• "resulting game was Def Jam Vendetta.[3] " how was this received?
• "Disney Interactive" link.
• "company was acquired by Disney Interactive" repetitive.
• Not sure that's the right Turok?
• "was a labor of love" if he said it, quote him as this is not encyclopedic in tone.
• "with Bungie who" no context for those not in the know. Bungie a person? An organisation?
• "which is currently developing" see above.
• Ref 9, title of work is just Time, not Time Magazine.

On hold after this first pass. The Rambling Man (Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!!!!) 18:15, 18 May 2021 (UTC)

Hey The Rambling Man, thanks for the review. I've addressed most of the above. The ref1 mention I get why it's confusing, since it's referencing the print article—should I just remove the URL to the summary page so it doesn't make it seem like the reference is to the website? And for Def Jam Vendetta, are you looking for critical reception for the game itself? Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs ^talk 17:53, 21 May 2021 (UTC)

Alright, I don't mind how you solve ref 1 but I need to be able to verify the claims in the article! As for Def Jame Vendetta, just a general "which was critically acclaimed/poorly received" etc with some sources. The Rambling Man (Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!!!!) 07:50, 23 May 2021 (UTC)

@The Rambling Man: Turns out the NUVO article is now on their site, just at a different URL, so I've swapped, and added two sources for Def Jam's success. Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs ^talk 18:06, 25 May 2021 (UTC)

David Fuchs we now have some referencing errors, fix that and I think we're done. The Rambling Man (Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!!!!) 07:12, 26 May 2021 (UTC)

The Rambling Man Oop, fixed. Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs ^talk 15:10, 26 May 2021 (UTC)

Okay, happy with this and passing. The Rambling Man (Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!!!!) 17:28, 26 May 2021 (UTC)