GA Review edit
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Reviewer: Aoba47 (talk · contribs) 00:29, 28 April 2017 (UTC)
- Comments from Aoba47
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- Reference 82 is not working for me, and I would recommend finding it through a website archive. While not necessary for GAN, I would encourage you to archive all of your references to avoid losing your hard work through link rot and decay.
Done I have not that much time now to archive all the refs, but I'm considering doing it in the future, thanks!
- In the lead, I would specify that she participates in campaigns against domestic violence rather than just violence in general.
- Done
- In the lead you mention, Inna is a supporter of the LGBT community. I do understand that she was vocal about being against the amendment along with other Romanian celebrities, but it appears that she has not done another else with the LGBT community. Adding this to the lead adds a lot of weight to this statement and sentiment, and if she has not done further work for the LGBT community, then I believe it adds too much weight to it. She has certainly done a lot of anti-domestic violence work that can be kept in the lead, but I would remove the LGBT reference unless she has done more.
- Done Removed
- This is a clarification question, but do you have any information on why she was raised in Neptun as opposed to Mangalia?
Not done The material about her childhood is (sadly) limited
- Did her mother, grandmother and grandfather sing professionally or was it just a hobby? Some further context to this would be greatly appreciated.
- Done Added that it was just a hobby
- Do you have any information on when she signed to Roton? Currently, the first mention of Roton is when Roton signs a contract with Ultra, but it is not made clear when Inna actually signed a record deal with Roton to begin with so this can be a little confusing. You want to make sure the timeline is clear for her career activity.
- Not done You already asked me this in the previous GAn of this. Sadly, I don't know the year when she signed with Roton (probably 2008-09, but it is not referenced)
- In the same sentence, I would suggest making it clear to the reader about why Roton signing a contract with Ultra Records is relevant to an article about Inna.
- Done Added that it's well-known
- It may be helpful to provide the pseudonyms that Bob Taylor and Inna for “Déjà vu” used in parenthesis in the sentence discussing this.
- Done
- I am not sure the “where she arrived by helicopter” part is necessary unless it drew a lot of media attention and/or praise/criticism. If it did, then expand that part, and if not, then I would remove it.
- Done It was a big deal that she arrived by helicopter on stage, so I would let it as it stands now.
- For the sentence “In Mexico, Inna gave many interviews and radio appearances.”, the citation only supports that she went to Mexico and was interviewed by “one” radio station. The “many” in your sentence does not appear to be supported to the best of knowledge, so I would suggest looking at this again. If it is cited in the citation, then please point me to that part as I am not seeing it.
- Done Removed the "many".
- @Cartoon network freak: Wonderful work with this article. It has been improved a great deal since my last review. I will pass this once my comments are addressed. Aoba47 (talk) 14:41, 29 April 2017 (UTC)
- @Aoba47: Please see my comments. Best regards, Cartoon network freak (talk) 09:05, 30 April 2017 (UTC)