Talk:Industrial Zen/GA1

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

---

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Aoba47 (talk · contribs) 16:48, 12 April 2017 (UTC)

• Grabbing this for a review. Aoba47 (talk) 16:48, 12 April 2017 (UTC)

Comments

• In the lead, either add a reference to support the "ground breaking" quote or paraphrase this. I would also suggest giving further context into what he meant by this as it sounds rather vague right now. Why does he mean by ambitious and ground breaking in this context?
• The phrase "for being musically diverse and different" reads somewhat awkwardly. What are you referencing with "different"? If you are referencing the types of musical styles and genres on the album, then diverse already covered that. If you are referencing different in terms of the artist's previous releases or the music released around the time of this album, then please specify. You explain this in the body of the article, but not here.
• In the "Music and sound" section, I am a little confused by the following phrase "is another album". What were the other albums to follow this genre? Also, switch around the references for this sentences as all of the references should in sequentially order.
• It may help the reader to separate the first paragraph of the "Reception" section into two, with the first one focusing on the positive reviews and the second one focusing on the more mixed ones.
• In the "Track listing" section, I would include a note that this information was gathered from the album's liner notes.
• In the same section, I would include any information about the song's producers if available. You can add a note to the top of the section saying that McLaughlin produced all of the tracks, along with the liner notes reference.
• Would this resources be helpful for this article, possibly for the "Reception" section? (1)

Final comments

• Everything looks good; once my comments are addressed, I will pass this. Great work on this as always. Aoba47 (talk) 17:04, 12 April 2017 (UTC)

• @Aoba47: Sorry for the delay – but I fixed it! Thanks for the extra Billboard source as well! Regards, Carbrera (talk) 02:18, 16 April 2017 (UTC).

• Oops, I misread your comment. Everything looks good. I will ✓ Pass this. Aoba47 (talk) 02:50, 16 April 2017 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.