Talk:Hot Sugar (song)/GA1

Latest comment: 6 years ago by Cartoon network freak in topic GA Review

GA Review

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The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.


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Reviewer: Cartoon network freak (talk · contribs) 06:18, 12 December 2017 (UTC)Reply

Soon, Cartoon network freak (talk) 06:18, 12 December 2017 (UTC)Reply

Lead

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  • the song to be the lead single → the song to be the lead single (to make it clear)
  • Please combine the first two paragraphs
  • I put the first sentence of the original second paragraph into the first one, but I do not believe combining both paragraphs would be a good as it would be far too large at that point. Aoba47 (talk) 00:15, 16 December 2017 (UTC)Reply
  • The lyrics revolve → Its lyrics revolve
  • Your suggestion would not make sense in this context. It only works if the "song" was the subject of the previous sentence, and that is not the case as both media outlets and commentators were the subject of the previous sentence. Aoba47 (talk) 00:15, 16 December 2017 (UTC)Reply
  • was mixed: some critics praised → was mixed, with some critics praising
  • I do not believe that the "with" construction would be the most appropriate answer here as it would make the sentence far too long and disjointed. I did, however, replace the colon with a semi-colon. Aoba47 (talk) 00:15, 16 December 2017 (UTC)Reply

Infobox

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  • Remove the "Recorded" information as this is nowhere to be found in the article

Release and composition

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  • It was released as a single from → was it the 2nd, 3rd... single?
  • During an interview with Essence, Braxton said → use "the singer" here to avoid repetition
  • She said that she → She also explained that she
  • 33-seconds → no "-" here needed
  • Beatport is not a reliable source for key and BPM, so please remove that information (sorry)
  • respectively → ,respectively

Reception

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  • I don't know if YouKnowIGotSoul.com is reliable, but I'll let it stand there as it is
  • The paragraph is well-written ;)

Music video

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  • on August 28, 2013 → place this after "Instagram account"
  • specifically her visual → specifically to her visual
  • Kevin Apaza of Direct Lyrics referenced the visual → Kevin Apaza of Direct Lyrics referenced to the visual
  • had abandoned production → add a "the" before production
  • that she had hire → that she had hired

Live performances

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  • surprised the singer onstage by jumping on stage → remove the first "onstage"

Credits and personnel

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  • flawless ;)

Charts

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  • Fixed issues by myself

Other stuff

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Copy-violation

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Media

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  • Sample seems stable

References

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  • As far as I checked them, the references do cover the assertations made in this article
  • No dead links! Good job!

Outcome

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  • Thank you for your review! I will address your comments later today or tomorrow if that is okay. Feel free to let me know if you need any help with any current or future projects. Aoba47 (talk) 22:51, 15 December 2017 (UTC)Reply
Gladly passing! Cartoon network freak (talk) 06:38, 16 December 2017 (UTC)Reply
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.