Talk:Earl Shilton in the pre-modern age

Criticisms and potential for improvements

• The prose needs tightening up in places.
• The story should be related more closely to the locality of Earl Shilton. There are segments of panorama that sometimes go beyond even England. I would suggest for deletion much of details of:

• earlier history of the Grandmesnil and Beaumont families before they came to England
• the First Crusade
• the siege of Courci
• biographical points eg about Duke Robert of Normandy etc that do not relate to the locality and should be left in the biographies concerned.

• More direct citation to books would be preferable to simply putting author's surnames in parenthesis in odd places.
• Proverbial expressions that are not quoted could be avoided, eg the widow had "seen off two husbands" when "survived" would put it simply. (BTW "seen off" could also mean murdered, but was that the actual case?)

I would leave it to Leicestershire users to make major deletions but I will make edits to improve the grammar and reduce enlargements on battles etc.Cloptonson (talk) 21:07, 17 December 2015 (UTC)

Having seen no comments against my suggestions, I am deleting the section The First Crusade as it bears no information touching on the history of Earl Shilton. If any local men or industries were involved in the effort (not merely the manor lords) it would have more relevant interest.Cloptonson (talk) 19:28, 2 August 2016 (UTC)

Thank you for the useful to do list. As I live not far away I ought to pay attention to this article. As it is almost reference free I shall have little to restrain me in trying to cut it down to size, and hopefully achieve an encyclopediac tone. Gog the Mild (talk) 21:49, 20 January 2018 (UTC)