Talk:Battle of Kalavryta

Latest comment: 2 years ago by Djmaschek in topic GA Review

GA Review edit

This review is transcluded from Talk:Battle of Kalavryta/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Djmaschek (talk · contribs) 14:03, 4 December 2021 (UTC)Reply


Initial comment edit

I will review this article for GA class. The first thing I noticed was that there was a map of Kalavryta in Greece, but no local map. A local map might be helpful, if one exists. It would also be helpful if there were other illustrations. Note: The lack of a local map or more pictures will not disqualify this article from GA class. Djmaschek (talk) 14:03, 4 December 2021 (UTC)Reply

  • I see there are photos of the Agia Lavra monastery. This one gives a sense of the terrain. "File:Agia Lavra monastery (September 2016), view from Greek Independence War monument.jpg". Djmaschek (talk) 14:09, 4 December 2021 (UTC)Reply
  Done

Review 1 edit

For B class reviews, I normally correct typos and sentence structure errors (unless there are a large number). For GA reviews, I usually list the issues and ask the nominator to correct them. You may either (1) fix as suggested, (2) fix your own way, or (3) not fix at all and argue your case. Djmaschek (talk) 03:28, 7 December 2021 (UTC)Reply

  • Introduction: "while small groups of commandos infiltrating the city center." I think this should be: (1) "while small groups of commandos infiltrated the city center." or (2) "with small groups of commandos infiltrating the city center."
  Done
  • Introduction: "at Kalavryta DSE" > "at Kalavryta (comma) DSE" Even though the sentence is short, I think the comma is needed. (Or move the "Following..." clause to the end of the sentence.)
  Done
  • Background, paragraph 3: "four government Companies" Can you put "companies" in lower case?
  Done
  • Prelude paragraph 1: "The chief of staff of the DSE of Peloponnese (comma) Kostas" and "Command (comma) Manolis Stathakis"
  Done
  • Battle, paragraph 1: "retreated from outer defensive line" > "retreated from the outer defensive line"
  Done
  • Battle, paragraph 2: "shot himself with his personal revolver" > "killed himself with his personal revolver" I was not sure if it was a suicide or attempted-suicide. This change will make it clear.
  Done
  • Aftermath, paragraph 1: "by an enemy patrol" > "by a government patrol". Try to avoid the use of the word "enemy" to keep things neutral-sounding. You could use "hostile" or "pro-government" patrol if you don't know with precision if they were government or pro-government paramilitaries.
  Done
  • Aftermath, paragraph 1: "authorities executed 25" > "government authorities executed 25". Be very specific about who is killing who, especially if it's an atrocity.
  Done
  • Aftermath, paragraph 2. The last sentence suggests that the DSE was going to gain recruits in the Peloponnese. Someone like myself, who is unfamiliar with the course of the Greek Civil War, might wonder what role this battle played (if any) in the eventual government victory. If the sources say anything about this, it would be helpful to add it at the end.
@Djmaschek: I added another paragraph explaining how the Peloponnesian DSE ultimately got defeated. I think everything else has been addressed. Thank you for your review.--Catlemur (talk) 18:50, 7 December 2021 (UTC)Reply
  • That's all. Fix these and you've got a GA class article. Nice work.
The last paragraph explains the reasons for the final outcome very well. This was exactly what I was looking for. Thanks. Djmaschek (talk) 02:03, 8 December 2021 (UTC)Reply