Talk:Amazing Grace (2018 film)/GA1

Latest comment: 4 years ago by CAPTAIN MEDUSA in topic GA Review

GA Review edit

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.


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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 12:47, 7 August 2019 (UTC)Reply


Comments

  • You reference the first two paras of the lead but not the third. I usually avoid references in the lead entirely unless direct quotes are used, because all the information in the lead should be in the main body of the article and can be referenced there instead.
  Done
  • "with TIME, " do you mean Time?
  Done
  • See infobox too.
  Done
  • Is "Rampant and Sundial Pictures." really "Rampant" and "Sundial Pictures"? Perhaps a serial comma if so.
  Done
  • "Amazing Grace was not released" you need to reinforce this is the album you're talking about.
  Done I'm talking about the film, on this sentence.
  • Neon is mentioned in the infobox and categories but nowhere else... is it even referenced?
  Done referenced.
  • "for unknown reasons." perhaps "unpublished" because I guess Franklin knew why..
  Done
  • Link Jagger and Watts first time round (in the synopsis section) rather than the Cast section.
  Done
  • In the cast section, use variable col width template ({{div col}} and {{div col end}}) for a more pleasurable columnar experience.
  Done
  • "Warner Bros.'s Music Services director Joe Boyd " hateful apostrophe there, perhaps "Joe Boyd, the Music Services director at Warner Bros., ..."?
  Done
  • Who is Jim Signorelli? He's not even red-linked...
  Done
  • "were done by" just a personal beef with "done", feels clunky, but perhaps nothing else will work.
  Done used completed.
  • "it turned out to be next to impossible" that's not really encyclopedic writing.
  Done
  • There's no timeframes given in the "Production" section, no year(s) of production etc.
  Done
  • "Amazing Grace was initially scheduled for a 1972 release together with Warner Bros.'s Super Fly." again, twice here, need to confirm the former is the album, and the latter is a movie.
  Done I was talking about the film, I add film next to it to make it clearer.
  • "Due to the synchronization problem, it was relegated to the Warner Bros. vaults" you said that about two sentences back.
  Done
  • "Once all the sound and footage were synchronized, Jeff Buchanan proceeded to edit the film" bit repetitive and "proceeded to edit" -> "edited".
  Done
  • "granted an emergency injunction against the Telluride screening" what about the other two scheduled screenings though?
  Done
  • "Amazing Grace will be released in the United States on digital download and DVD on August 6, 2019" presumably we can confirm/update this now.
  Done
  • "In the United Kingdom StudioCanal " you've used UK already so stick with that, and I'd advise a comma after it too.
  Done
  • "location.[29][30]The" space before The.
  Done
  • " StudioCanal UK " this was just StudioCanal in the previous section and suggest you link it there (where it appears first time) and not subsequently.
  Done
  • Rotten Tomatoes 99% now comes from 117 reviews.
  Done
  • Also, average rating is down to 8.73.
  Done
  • Check all references are comprehensively formatted, including publishers/websites/accessdates/publication dates.
  Done
  • Avoid SHOUTING and spaced hyphens in the refs, normal sentence case for titles etc, and spaced en-dashes per MOS please.
  Done

That's all I have for right now, so I'll put the article on hold while we make our way through these. Cheers, The Rambling Man (REJOICE!) 10:35, 9 August 2019 (UTC)Reply

Comment- @The Rambling Man: I have fixed all the issues raised above. Also thank you so much for the review.___CAPTAIN MEDUSAtalk 23:17, 9 August 2019 (UTC)Reply
Please go through all references and check they are consistently formatted, including the use of the accessdate and publisher parameters consistently throughout. The Rambling Man (REJOICE!) 09:13, 12 August 2019 (UTC)Reply
The Rambling Man, I've gone through all references, they are now consistently formatted. ___CAPTAIN MEDUSAtalk 15:51, 12 August 2019 (UTC)Reply
Last thing, a minor point but would help readability, you have two paragraphs starting with "In 1972..." which could be reworked so it's not repetitive. The Rambling Man (REJOICE!) 15:57, 12 August 2019 (UTC)Reply
The Rambling Man, I've reworded the paragraph. Also thanks for the swift reply. ___CAPTAIN MEDUSAtalk 16:14, 12 August 2019 (UTC)Reply
@The Rambling Man: I've also linked the table awards.___CAPTAIN MEDUSAtalk 17:01, 12 August 2019 (UTC)Reply
Happy with the article now, I made a couple of really minor tweaks but promoting. Good work. The Rambling Man (REJOICE!) 09:15, 13 August 2019 (UTC)Reply
The Rambling Man, Thanks for the review again, I've submitted Aama (film), and Samragyee RL Shah for GAN you're welcomed to review. ___CAPTAIN MEDUSAtalk 10:16, 13 August 2019 (UTC)Reply
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.