Talk:Amar Asha

Latest comment: 4 years ago by Cwmhiraeth in topic GOCE copyedit request

GOCE copyedit request edit

@Gazal world: & @Nizil Shah:, I have started a copyedit of this article. There are a few things I would like to ask:

  • IPA pronounciation: The audio file appears to sound a little different compared to the transcribed IPA, namely the "ʃ" sounding more like an "s".
  • The IPA is correct but if is still unclear, I will rerecord and upload. -Nizil (talk) 05:00, 18 February 2020 (UTC)Reply
That would be wonderful. I've listened to it several times and I couldn't hear it spoken as it was transcribed. Might just be a quality issue. --Tenryuu (🐲💬🌟) 05:43, 18 February 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • [...] has been composed in Persian beher (meter) Hazaj: To clarify, the poem is composed in the Persian Hazaj meter?
  • Beher meters has sub-meters including Hazaj. So Beher Hazaj is correct.
Alright, I've changed it for the meantime, but I will probably think of something better tomorrow. --Tenryuu (🐲💬🌟) 05:43, 18 February 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • He noted that it is written by a Hindu scholar in an Islamic style so Hindus and Muslims both should be proud of it: I copyedited this sentence a little but is the intent of composing it in this way so that both religions can understand, appreciate, or take pride? They are somewhat similar but if this could be narrowed down that would be helpful.
  • In Gandhi's words, "both should be proud of it" because Hindu scholar wrote in Islamic style. "Take pride in it" is also OK. Manilal had not stated this reason but reviewer Gandhi suggested to take pride.
Okay. I'm using a direct quote from Gandhi and used the same reference. That should take care of that issue, though you should probably check with someone more experienced in citations and references to ensure that is proper referencing.
Checked. Referenced OK.

Hope to hear from you soon! --Tenryuu (🐲💬🌟) 17:36, 17 February 2020 (UTC)Reply

@Tenryuu: Thank you for copyediting. I have replied to your comments.-Nizil (talk) 05:00, 18 February 2020 (UTC)Reply
@Nizil Shah: Article has been updated and replies have been replied to. I will make another copyedit tomorrow and that should complete my copyedit for this article. --Tenryuu (🐲💬🌟) 05:43, 18 February 2020 (UTC)Reply
@Nizil Shah: I've made another minor copyedit and will mark my edit as complete in about 7 hours. --Tenryuu (🐲💬🌟) 23:11, 19 February 2020 (UTC)Reply
@Tenryuu:, I am OK with all the changes. Than you very much for copyediting. -Nizil (talk) 07:48, 20 February 2020 (UTC)Reply
The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Cwmhiraeth (talk) 05:24, 17 April 2020 (UTC)Reply

  • ... that "Amar Asha" ("Immortal Hope"), a Gujarati poem by Manilal Dwivedi, was reviewed by Mahatma Gandhi in his magazine? Source: "Thaker, Dhirubhai (1956). Manilāla Nabhubhāi: Sāhityasādhana મણિલાલ નભુભાઇ: સાહિત્ય સાધના [Works of Manilal Nabhubhai] (in Gujarati). Ahmedabad: Gurjar Grantharatna Karyalay. pp. XV–XVI. OCLC 80129512.
  • Reviewed: Winston Price
  • Comment: GOCE request. Ongoing copyedit.   Done

Created by Nizil Shah (talk) and Gazal world (talk). Nominated by Nizil Shah (talk) at 05:08, 18 February 2020 (UTC).Reply

  • Drive-by comment: I added the translation of the title, but the hook really isn't that hooky. Yoninah (talk) 18:39, 7 March 2020 (UTC)Reply
@Yoninah:, Mahatma Gandhi is a popular major figure in relation to politics and philosophy so readers may wonder about a poem reviewed by him. I found it the most hooky. -Nizil (talk) 16:46, 12 March 2020 (UTC)Reply
And the most interesting fact is that, this review is the only literary piece written by Gandhi. --Gazal world (talk) 16:50, 12 March 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • Yes, that would be a more interesting hook fact, Gazal world. As it stands, though, the hook is just name-dropping a famous person who "reviewed" it. How about adding more color to the hook? Like:
  • ALT1: ... that Mahatma Gandhi praised the Gujarati poem "Amar Asha" ("Immortal Hope"), saying that both Hindus and Muslims "should be proud of it"? Dwivedi, Manilal (2000) [1895]. "મિતાક્ષરી". In Thaker, Dhirubhai (ed.). Ātmanimajjana આત્મનિમજ્જન. M. N. Dvivedī Samagra Sāhityaśreṇī–3 (in Gujarati). Gandhinagar: Gujarat Sahitya Academy. pp. 329, 338. ISBN 81-7227-075-5.Yoninah (talk) 23:08, 12 March 2020 (UTC)Reply
@Yoninah: Thats better. Thanks, -Nizil (talk) 06:54, 13 March 2020 (UTC)Reply
  •   New enough, long enough. The hook needs citing. There appear to be unsourced statements in the article. --evrik (talk) 05:14, 4 April 2020 (UTC)Reply
@Evrik: Reference has been added now. Thanks. --Gazal world (talk) 06:04, 4 April 2020 (UTC)Reply
  •   I have no way of verifying the hook. --evrik (talk) 20:18, 5 April 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • @Evrik: aren't you able to AGF to an offline source for the hook fact? Yoninah (talk) 18:21, 16 April 2020 (UTC)Reply