Talk:All Souls (The X-Files)/GA1
Latest comment: 12 years ago by Gen. Quon in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Reviewer: TBrandley (talk · contribs) 23:14, 2 August 2012 (UTC)
- Infobox
- The image doesn't meet WP:NFCC as of right now. It doesn't help the reader understand the topic; its just a girl with her hands up. Expand the rationale, or remove. Production information, etc.?
- Changed to be the lion-headed part of a Seraphim, the making of which is talked about in-depth in the article.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 15:59, 6 August 2012 (UTC)
- "One of the Nephilim's souls is taken to Heaven." isn't correctly. Re-writing to: "One of Nephilim's souls is taken to Heaven." without the as it makes it incorrect
- Your suggested change would make the sentence grammatically incorrect - "the Nephilim's" is right 129.11.77.197 (talk) 10:18, 6 August 2012 (UTC)
- Yeah, that's grammatically incorrect.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 15:53, 6 August 2012 (UTC)
- Your suggested change would make the sentence grammatically incorrect - "the Nephilim's" is right 129.11.77.197 (talk) 10:18, 6 August 2012 (UTC)
- Link Heaven in the image
- Lede
- ", and was directed by Allen Coulter" is in the sentence, making it huge, re-write to "; it was directed by Allen Coulter" keep the semi-colon
- In some episode articles, airing is first, some writers and directors are first. Please try to be consistent in articles.
- Only Monster-of-the-Week should be linked without the quote marks linked
- a stand-alone plot which is unconnected to the series' wider mythology, or overarching fictional history → a stand-alone plot which is unconnected to the mythology, or overarching fictional history, of The X-Files
- ""All Souls" received a Nielsen household rating of 8.5 and was watched by 13.44 million viewers" re-write to: ""All Souls" earned a Nielsen household rating of 8.5, being watched by 13.44 million viewers in its intital broadcast" as cleanup
- "mixed reviews from television critics" did they note/mention anything specifically?
- Well, considering that it's mixed, there's not a lot critics agreed with.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 15:53, 6 August 2012 (UTC)
- Way too may "the", consider re-writing: "it", "this", etc.
- Well, it is the most common word in the English language, so I feel this is unnecessarily nit-picking just a tad.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 15:53, 6 August 2012 (UTC)
- "Angel and Brown" already above. Last paragraph is where this is.
- ""Christmas Carol"/"Emily"" replace "/" with "and" as real word
- consider re-writing "episode". Eg: "installment", "entry", "it", etc.
- See above....--Gen. Quon (Talk) 15:53, 6 August 2012 (UTC)
- Plot
- add comma after "wheelchair" in the first sentence
- "amiss, makes his way outside" needs an "and"/fixing
- That's grammatically sound: "Dara's father makes his way outside." is a sentence; "Dara's father, Lance Kernof (Eric Keenleyside), makes his way outside." is also a sentence with a descriptor added; "Dara's father, Lance Kernof (Eric Keenleyside), realizing something is amiss, makes his way outside." is another sentence, with another descriptor, this time, of action.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 15:53, 6 August 2012 (UTC)
- add "with" before "her arms raised upward"
- "Suddenly, lightning flashes." is very short. Perhaps merge it.
- "her eyes gone" are gone?
- "the case" maybe "that" as "the" is already used so many times
- See above...--Gen. Quon (Talk) 15:53, 6 August 2012 (UTC)
- Devil doesn't need to be in capitals.
- We're talking about THE Devil (y'know, Lucifer), so his name should be capitalized.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 15:53, 6 August 2012 (UTC)
- after "Landry)" there is an unneeded comma
- "contain" should have an "s" at the end
- "God" shouldn't be in capitals
- Again, we're talking about THE God in Christianity, and that's how his name is supposed to capitalized (Thus, why I linked it to God in Christianity).--Gen. Quon (Talk) 15:53, 6 August 2012 (UTC)
- "hoping" → "attemping"
- "That night, a man enters Paula's room and she dies" is short. Please merge
- Why? A small sentence doesn't make this poor writing.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 15:53, 6 August 2012 (UTC)
- "Scully examines Paula's body, her eyes burned out" something isn't right
- Who is Scully and Mulder? Explain who there are "FBI special agents" in "Plot"
- "to be Father Gregory" should be "Gregory" as it is already above; WP:MOS
- Production
- "All Souls" was written by John Shiban and Frank Spotnitz, and directed by Allen Coulter" Huh, what? They wrote the teleplay, right. Therefore, the story writers are missing now.
- Clarified that the episode's script was written by the two, the idea was by the others.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 15:53, 6 August 2012 (UTC)
- alongside → along with
- Link Christmas
- "/" should be "and"
- In "Filming", note that Vancouver is in British Columbia
- they'd should be "they did"
- It's part of a quote, so I can't change it.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 15:53, 6 August 2012 (UTC)
- Is there any image that could be used in "Filming"
- Maybe... I'll have a look around.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 15:53, 6 August 2012 (UTC)
- Too many "the" in this, and the article itself
- Again, see above. This really is not that big of a deal.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 15:53, 6 August 2012 (UTC)
- Reception
- "Reception" should be renamed to "Broadcast and reception" to match with most other X-Files episode articles
- Only Fox should be linked, not "network"
- ""All Souls" premiered on the Fox network in the United States on April 26, 1998. The episode later debuted in the United Kingdom on BBC One on February 24, 1999" re-write to: ""All Souls" originally aired on the Fox network on April 26, 1998, and was first broadcast in the United Kingdom on BBC One on February 24, 1999".
- Did it earn a Nielsen rating, or "household rating"? In the lead, it says household, here it says just Nielsen rating
- "tuned in to the episode" to "that episode"
- Again, why? 'The' is the most used word in the English language, and there's no reason to remove it.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 15:53, 6 August 2012 (UTC)
- 'All Souls' should be double quotes here, in "Reception"
- Are you referring to the Vitaris quote? Per MOS, it should be in single quotes, since it's inside a quote.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 15:53, 6 August 2012 (UTC)
- References
- Ref. 1, 3, 4, 5, 7, 12: I know this is for GA, but, you could still link the book sources in the footnotes to "Bibliography" link as in FA and A-Class articles. Would just make the article better. Note that this is a suggestion.
- This is an excessive amount of work, and I'll do that if I try to get this up to FA or A-Class. Not necessary for GA.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 15:53, 6 August 2012 (UTC)
- Ref. 1, 3, 4, 5, 7, 12: Add year for footnote book sources, as in "The Post-Modern Prometheus"
- Again, this is an excessive amount of work, and I'll do that if I try to get this up to FA or A-Class. Not necessary for GA.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 15:53, 6 August 2012 (UTC)
- Ref. 2: "Fox Broadcasting Corporation" should be linked to "Fox Broadcasting Company" instead
- Shouldn't the names be "last name" then "first name" for Ref. 2, 6
- I don't know. Every other page that has this has been fine with leaving them, even "Triangle".
- Ref. 6: Unlink The X-Files: The Complete Fifth Season as it has been linked on a previous footnote
- Ref. 8: Double quotes ("All Souls") should be single quotes ('All Souls') per WP:MOS.
- Why are British date formats being used for an American television series?
- As long as I'm consistent, there's no issues. I like the way British dates looks.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 15:53, 6 August 2012 (UTC)
- Ref. 10: Is there a publisher? Don't think there is, but just making sure.
- No, there isn't.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 15:53, 6 August 2012 (UTC)
- Per MOS:ACCESS, "Footnotes" and "Bibliography" should be real headings (sub-headings that is).
- In "Bibliography", "US" should be "U.S."; that is real
- External links
- "TheXFiles.com" should be "XFiles.com". That's the website for this one.
- "The X-Files Wiki, an external wiki" is repetitive. How about: "The X-Files, an external wiki". Plus, that matches with your FA, "Triangle". Yeah :)
- Done.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 15:53, 6 August 2012 (UTC)
- Actually, I went back and changed this. The site is called "The X-Files Wiki", not "The X-Files" (that's the show). The title and line might be repetitive, but we can't change a name just because it sounds better.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 23:14, 6 August 2012 (UTC)
- Done.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 15:53, 6 August 2012 (UTC)
- "TXF Season 5" should be "The X-Files" to match it with FA, "Triangle" getting it closer to there.
- "on" → "at" for "TheXFiles.com"
- Categories should be in alphabetical order.
That is it. Good work, its a good read. On hold for now. TBrandley 04:47, 6 August 2012 (UTC)
- I'll fix the picture soon.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 15:53, 6 August 2012 (UTC)
- Everything has been addressed or commented upon. Thanks for the review.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 16:02, 6 August 2012 (UTC)