Talk:All Money Is Legal/GA1
Latest comment: 6 years ago by Cartoon network freak in topic GA Review
GA Review
editThe following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Reviewer: Cartoon network freak (talk · contribs) 09:04, 2 January 2018 (UTC)
Lead
edit- It peaked at number 45 → I would add "Commercially, it..." for clarification
- Billboard chart. "4 da Fam" made → Billboard chart, while "4 da Fam" made
Infobox
edit- Flawless ;)
Background and release
edit- in local talent shows throughout New York City → I'm not sure if "throughout" is the right word here
- She joined the → I would add "Amil" here to avoid repeating yourself
- He asked Amil → He also asked Amil
- own lyrics for most of the album → own lyrics for the majority of the album
Composition and sound
edit- thirteen tracks → 13 tracks (numbers above ten should not be written out)
- I don't see ”Heard It All Before” in the album's track list
- after stealing another woman's boyfriend → "stealing" sounds unencyclopedic here
- Jay-Z contributed verses to the track → Use "He" here to avoid repetation
Promotion
edit- was released to promote the song.[21] It was featured → was released to promote the song,[21] and was featured
- August 1, 2000, and August 8, 2000 → August 1 and August 8, 2000
- and described the song's as "squelching [and] slithering" → remove the "'s" from "song's"
- had promise as a rapper.[21] On the other hand, a writer → had promise as a rapper,[21] while on the other hand, a writer... (to avoid short sentences)
- I think it is unnecessary to have two paragraphs for one single...
Reception
edit- The section should be before "Promotion"
- This is not true as this information is tied into the album's release. See what I have done for another album article Pru to see what I mean. Also, I have restored the information that you have removed on the album's release. This is information that needs to be in the article. Also, the information on Amil being dropped from the label following the album's release needs to be in the article. Aoba47 (talk) 01:28, 5 January 2018 (UTC)
- Link "critics" to Music criticism
- she found her personal tracks → do you mean the songs she had written by herself?
- The album peaked at number 45 on the Top Album Sales → place and "also" before "peaked"
Track listing
edit- Flawless ;)
Credits and personnel
edit- Flawless ;)
Charts
edit- Fixed by myself...
Release history
edit- Fixed by myself...
Other stuff
editCopy-violation
edit- 54.8% is a little bit heavy... Please revise this!
References
edit- As far as I checked them, the references do cover the assertations made in this article
Outcome
edit- Same nominator, same reviewer, same kind of topic, same quality! This was, as usual, a very interesting reading, and I think you should try to bring this to FA level ! I put the article On hold for 7 days to allow further edits. Best; Cartoon network freak (talk) 20:51, 4 January 2018 (UTC)
- @Cartoon network freak: Thank you for the review as always, and I greatly appreciate your kind words. I will definitely try to bring this up to the FA level sometime in the near future (hopefully this year). I believe that I have addressed everything. Have a great rest of your day or night! Aoba47 (talk) 01:33, 5 January 2018 (UTC)
- @Aoba47: Just to clarify, I haven't removed the information on the album's release, but I just added it to "Background", and thus formed the section "Background and release". You can restore to "Background and recording" and "Release and promotion" if you feel like it is better. I'm passing this! Congrats; Cartoon network freak (talk) 08:10, 5 January 2018 (UTC)
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.