Talk:2017 World Championships in Athletics – Women's marathon

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:2017 World Championships in Athletics – Women's marathon/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Bait30 (talk · contribs) 04:33, 8 October 2020 (UTC)

Discussion

Hi, I'd like to review this article if you don't mind. This would be my first time at GA and I feel like this backlog drive is a good time to start participating. Please be patient with me and let me know if I mess up.  Bait30  ^{Talk 2 me pls?} 04:33, 8 October 2020 (UTC)

I'm getting sleepy, so I'll review the references tomorrow.  Bait30  ^{Talk 2 me pls?} 07:38, 8 October 2020 (UTC)

@Harrias: I'm actually unsure what I'm supposed to do now. Am I supposed to put it on hold? Or does that wait until after I review the refs?  Bait30  ^{Talk 2 me pls?} 07:47, 8 October 2020 (UTC)

@Bait30: Cheers for the review so far. Yeah, only put it on hold once your review is complete: that then gives me a notional 7 days to look at review and made changes (note that as long as progress is being made, generally reviewers will not be strict with that deadline, it only tends to be used if there doesn't seem a realistic chance of the work being done.) Harrias ^{(he/him) • talk} 13:42, 8 October 2020 (UTC)

GA list

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (major aspects): b (focused):

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

5. It is stable.

   No edit wars, etc.:

6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.

   a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

7. Overall:

   Pass/Fail:

Lead

• "London's famous landmarks": famous seems kinda WP:FLOWERY to me. (1b)
  • Removed "famous". Harrias ^{(he/him) • talk} 10:55, 12 October 2020 (UTC)
• "The race was won by Rose Chelimo of Bahrain": in my opinion, would be better in active voice. (1a)
  • I disagree, as the race is the subject of the article, rather than Chelimo. Harrias ^{(he/him) • talk} 10:55, 12 October 2020 (UTC)
• "back-to-back": it's not really clear what this means. Someone reading might think that the men's race started immediately after the women's race ended. Might be better to just remove it. (1a/1b)
  • Removed "back-to-back". Harrias ^{(he/him) • talk} 10:55, 12 October 2020 (UTC)
• London: London should probably be linked, especially since the venue was through the streets. Or maybe even linking streets of London to London#Roads. (1b)
  • MOS:OVERLINK advises not to. Harrias ^{(he/him) • talk} 10:55, 12 October 2020 (UTC)
• " For the first time at the World Championships": "first time in World Championships history" would be more clear. (1a)
  • Yup, done. Harrias ^{(he/him) • talk} 10:55, 12 October 2020 (UTC)
• "by a fraction of a second": "by less than a second" might be more clear and concise. If you prefer to keep as-is, I would be ok with it. (1a)
  • Yup, I prefer that, changed. Harrias ^{(he/him) • talk} 10:55, 12 October 2020 (UTC)
• Venue in the infobox: looking through other articles for marathon events, it seems like editors generally just list the finish location as the venue. So just listing the venue as "Tower Bridge, London" or some variant of that might be more concise. (1a)
  • I don't see any benefit from making the location description less accurate. Harrias ^{(he/him) • talk} 10:55, 12 October 2020 (UTC)
• Date in infobox: I know this isn't really in the scope of the GA review, but the date should include the year. Just because the title has 2017 in it doesn't necessarily mean the even took place in 2017. For example, the 2020 Summer Olympics is gonna be next year :(
  • Sure. Harrias ^{(he/him) • talk} 10:55, 12 October 2020 (UTC)
• "35 kilometres (22 mi) point": should be "35 kilometre (22 mi) point" unless this is a British English thing that I don't know about. (1a)
  • No, that's my bad: changed to "until the 35-kilometre (22 mi) point". Harrias ^{(he/him) • talk} 10:55, 12 October 2020 (UTC)
• "first and third respectively": I believe there should be a comma after "third". (1a)
  • Not according to the examples in the Cambridge Dictionary or the Collins Dictionary. Harrias ^{(he/him) • talk} 10:55, 12 October 2020 (UTC)

 Bait30  ^{Talk 2 me pls?} 07:37, 8 October 2020 (UTC)

Qualification

• "(IAAF, now World Athletics)": "(IAAF, now known as World Athletics)" would be more clear. (1a)
  • Yup, done. Harrias ^{(he/him) • talk} 11:16, 12 October 2020 (UTC)
• "one minutes slower than": should be "one minute slower than" (1a)
  • Eugh, done. Harrias ^{(he/him) • talk} 11:16, 12 October 2020 (UTC)
• "than had been required for the 2015 World Championships, and the same as had been needed to qualify for the 2016 Olympics": "than had been required for the 2015 World Championships, and the same as had been needed to qualify for the 2016 Olympics". I feel like this would make it less confusing. (1a)
  • Sure, though I'm not convinced it is an improvement. Harrias ^{(he/him) • talk} 11:16, 12 October 2020 (UTC)

 Bait30  ^{Talk 2 me pls?} 07:37, 8 October 2020 (UTC)

Preview

• "It was the first time that the United Kingdom had hosted the World Championships in Athletics": the phrasing is kind of ambiguous. It's not clear what "it" is. Also it's kinda tangential, so it might not even belong in this article. (1a/3b)
  • Removed. Harrias ^{(he/him) • talk} 11:18, 12 October 2020 (UTC)
• "taking in some of London's historic landmarks": the use of "taking in" is strange to me. Maybe "passing by", "passing through", or some other variant would be more clear. (1a)
  • Yeah, "passing by" works better. Harrias ^{(he/him) • talk} 11:18, 12 October 2020 (UTC)

 Bait30  ^{Talk 2 me pls?} 07:37, 8 October 2020 (UTC)

Summary

• "catching her just before 30 kilometres (19 mi)": To avoid any potential confusion, you should stay consistent and say something like 30 kilometre (19 mi) point or mark. (1a)
  • Done. Harrias ^{(he/him) • talk} 11:21, 12 October 2020 (UTC)
• "Kiplagat initially took on the lead": I'm assuming initially means after the pack reached Dixon, but it should be made more clear. (1a)
  • Made this clear. Harrias ^{(he/him) • talk} 11:21, 12 October 2020 (UTC)
• "Chelimo soon increased the pace with a move that split the pack up": the wording is kinda wonky here. "with a move" makes it seem like she did something other than run faster. Also, "split the pack up" is a bit ambiguous. Did it split into two? or did the pack just simply break up with no real pack forming? It might be easier just to reformat/reorganize this sentence along with the first sentence of the next paragraph. (1a)
• "Along with Chelimo, Kiplagat, Amy Cragg of the United States, and Kenya's Flomena Cheyech Daniel broke away at the front.": Very garden-path-y. At first glance, it's hard to tell which names are the subject of the sentence and which names are the object of the preposition. (1a)
  • I've reworked this all now, how is it? Harrias ^{(he/him) • talk} 15:04, 12 October 2020 (UTC)
• "Sinead Mulhern compared it": might be more clear if you replaced "it" with "the finish". (1a)
  • Rephrased. Harrias ^{(he/him) • talk} 11:21, 12 October 2020 (UTC)

 Bait30  ^{Talk 2 me pls?} 07:37, 8 October 2020 (UTC)

Images

• Tower Bridge: in my opinion, that image should go in the Preview section. And then, the infobox image could be a route map or something like this. The image I linked has a CC BY 2.0 license, but for some reason the upload wizard on Commons won't allow me to upload it. commons:Commons:Village_pump/Copyright#Cannot_upload_CC2.0_images_from_Flickr is the discussion I started about it. If this or the map doesn't work out, then the infobox should probably just be empty. Other than that, the Tower Bridge image is good.

 Bait30  ^{Talk 2 me pls?} 07:37, 8 October 2020 (UTC)

Well it looks like that photographer is a scummy person, so that's out of the picture. I'm also having trouble with figuring out how to use OpenStreetMaps and creating a route map, so this is thing is optional.  Bait30  ^{Talk 2 me pls?} 20:53, 8 October 2020 (UTC)

I could create a route map, albeit not this week, as I am quite short on time. The issue with moving the Tower Bridge image is the "Events at the 2017 World Championships" template on the right hand side, which would force the image down below it. Unless you feel strongly about this, I'd rather leave it as is in the short-term? Harrias ^{(he/him) • talk} 11:27, 12 October 2020 (UTC)

Results

• DNF and DNS: I feel like it would be better if DNF and DNS only covered the Time column and didn't span into the Notes column. Up to you.
  • Again, I'll leave it "as is" in the short-term, as it is the format I've used across these lists, but I'm not necessarily against the change, but only if made consistently across these articles. Harrias ^{(he/him) • talk} 11:28, 12 October 2020 (UTC)

 Bait30  ^{Talk 2 me pls?} 20:53, 8 October 2020 (UTC)

References

Reference numbers are from this version

• 2 and 6: I was a little bit iffy on LetsRun.com at first, but it seems like the Johnson brothers have editorial oversight and Runners World seems to trust them.
• 13: Omnisport should be in the "agency" parameter.
  • Added. Harrias ^{(he/him) • talk} 11:31, 12 October 2020 (UTC)

 Bait30  ^{Talk 2 me pls?} 20:53, 8 October 2020 (UTC)

• @Bait30: Thanks for the review. I think I have dealt with or queried all relevant points above. Let me know what you think. Harrias ^{(he/him) • talk} 15:05, 12 October 2020 (UTC)
  • It looks good in my book!  Bait30  ^{Talk 2 me pls?} 16:43, 12 October 2020 (UTC)